A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler, a beer doesn't get ...

XIV 

A baby combing it’s hair with a potato peeler, a beer doesn’t 

get jealous when you grab another beer, a bit of serious trance 

in the form of usura, a glossy picture of things I had never 

seen before, a lot of what I have written isn’t true anymore, a 

man is shipwrecked on a desert island for ten years, a number 

is being recited — it’s a long number, a picture of Houdini 

locking his keys in his car, a rapist a robber a prostitute a crack 

user, a thing is nothing but the complex of its characters, A 

20 th century man. The guy has no future, a wildness whose 

glance no civilization could endure, admired as such by some 

reviewers attacked by others, aesthetics as a story of high 

moral endeavor, Alfred Hitchcock had a dog named Philip of 

Magnesia, All other decades are “in.” Cash in on nostalgia!, 

Also who was I hoping to impress with this gesture?, always try 

to do things in chronological order, an Academy-Award- 

Winning-Actress-of-Color, an agile ambush like apes corralling 

human bothers, an unctuous substance with a luxurious texture, 

And his poems I hate his poems! They stink! I can do 

better!, and I should be allowed to blurt the merest idea, and 

it’s just a box of rain I don’t know who put it there, and like 

saying “Big Bamboo” ten times fast it’s a killer, and sounding a 

lot like the guidance counselor in Heathers, And to think I 

didn’t even have to buy you dinner!, and waited patiently 

about till Mary did appear, and we all got a complimentary 

bumper sticker, And we’re not going to remain silent any 

195

longer!, Another Abortion Doctor Killed In Pensacola, anything 

may happen and it all does go together, aquatic animals 

of a lower order with pores, Are we gonna keep watching dead 

bodies over dinner?, arms are so short he has to tilt his head 

to scratch his ear, as a member of American popular culture, 

as I go on the lines are becoming harder to draw, as x-pected 

another x-citing ear x-pander, ask the boy in the ceramic jar 

before he gets fired, at least the truly stupid are blissfully 

unaware, at one point I caught two guys pointing at me with a 

sneer, at the apex of your spirit there is a little door, be 

assured I’ll not call you a sheketz or a shiksa, because he gave 

more offense people said he was greater, boogie woogie woogie 

woogie ‘till you just can’t boogie no more, books are timebombs 

that explode when opened in the future, Booze-o- 

Vision as America’s new Art Populaire, borrow positive feelings 

from your successful future, both of the above being in C 

eh N eh D eh, bring me your puny handful of sperm on a blue 

platter, Buddha Moses Jesus Mohammed Krishna and Rama, 

burning midnight crosses jarred peace of mind on your front 

yard, but by this point I am too lost in my own food to care, 

But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger, but the real 

curiosity here are the two covers:, but this one little boy had 

gotten an old enema, but unless we go to extremes we won’t 

get anywhere, by stuffing their cock-holders with proxies for 

stockholders, Can you spare some change so I can get something 

to eat sir?, champagne : taste as wallet : Coca-Cola, 

Cheryl’s Biennial article in Harper’s Bazaar, Clinton To Scale 

Down Program To Oust Iraqi Leader, CM-PX used to be down 

but is not anymore, Collect all 14,052 action figures!, constrain 

me to do something I never thought of before, Cool Site 

of the Day nothing! Where’s my Cool Site of the Hour?, 

cracked black chair held together by bands of duct tape silver, 

critter I was molested by this CUTE babysitter, Daddy’s money 

[XIV] 196

ings — he’s a loser and a bum — Hitler’s, David was a 

Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar, dehydrated water with 

instructions “just add water”, Describe yourself in five words. A 

straight up mother-fucker, despite my illusion that I was a total 

loner, digg’n in my heart I find a human generator, Do you 

accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?, Do you have a 

problem opening the milk container?, don’t put a head on 

top of the head that’s already there, don’t sleep or you’ll find 

me gone just an image in the air, Don’t you get that destroying 

the man doesn’t work either?, doomed to live out its shelf-life 

as a permanent fixture, eating bags of money with an almost 

obscene gesture, empty wine bottle cold as Hoboken in 

November, (entries are deleted after 30 more are entered), 

eventually I began to look for another, except that I know that 

I want to make my meaning clear, Excuse us while we slip into 

something more ooh-la-la!, exposing oneself while hiding 

inside a character, far above the helix itself twisted and coiled 

over, Fierce! A stay up all night emotional rollercoaster!, 15% 

of Americans wish Dennis Hopper, fifty of the sixteenth and 

seventeenth hundreds of years, finally stopped Grandma from 

sliding down the bannister, finding out what a “took” (rhymes 

with “Luke”) is and why you wear, follow-up with “silent-butdeadlies” 

and “pull my finger”, for they’re still feeling the 

effects of that parsley of yours, freakin’ hate it when the end of 

the joint burns your fingers, Frequent heartburn. Isn’t it time 

you talked to your doctor?, from “desire”: desirable admirable 

from “admire”, from stinky litterboxes to feline leukemia, 

functioning less from the ego and more from the center, 

Gawd it’s way too early to be in an elevator!, go over to Alix’s 

tonight to watch the Oscars, good news from afar can bring 

you a welcome visitor, Gripes (p.242 of 304), had one hundred 

eyes and what was done with these eyes after, had probably not 

heard such sincere words for many years, hardcore heads still 

197 

[XIV]

wear boots in the searing heat of summer, harrowing teeters 

on the precipice of dementia, he added “Today Los Angeles 

has turned the corner”, he and I were as much alike as two 

drops of water, he first thought of space — vast blue and 

extending everywhere, he may not be a great actor but he will 

be a star, he spent his 33 rd year no esta intercoursa, he started 

making these ugly threats about my daughter, he was goin aah 

ha ha ha ha buh buh buh buh buh, he was raised as my brother 

and married my wife’s sister, He would fain taste sugar 

instead of becoming sugar!, Hello Alice … what’s the matter? 

Are you in chains? :)(Haw haw!!), her legs outstretched shimmering 

with the last shocks of pleasure, here and now you’re 

an overeating cellulite monster, here is a list in case you ever 

see any others:, Hey you know what they say if it bleeds it can 

be butchered!, (“Hideous Q-Tip”) beautiful (echo “ugly”) sister, 

his fingers so many explanation points in the air, hon you’ve 

got to push this boob up to make it stick out more, honesty a 

sense of humor and a big hot member, Hoops Hunk Shaquille 

Tells TV Beauty Holly: It’s Over, How do you get 10 dead 

babies into a Tupperware?, How do you know if a woman is 

wearing underwear?, how fabulous to be making history 

together, Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof Aiulella!, I 

always longed for the Norman Rockwellian father, I became a 

vegetarian at age 24, I can’t believe that this hasn’t occurred to 

me before, I can’t help you anymore you can’t hurt me anymore, 

I could have been on the moon. I could have been anywhere, 

I coulda been your father but the dog beat me upstairs, 

I do not sniff the coke I only smoke sinsemilla, I do not want 

to be a woman all the time either, I don’t know the meaning 

of apathy and I don’t care!, I don’t feel like singing — not 

without Fräulein Maria, I filleted a bulimic belligerent purger, 

I got a call through a telephone tree to attend her, I haven’t 

told her yet but I am going to tell her, I hope I don’t get con- 

[XIV] 198

fused with Camille Paglia here, I just don’t know what there is 

to care about anymore, I just want to curl up in a cave and 

sleep all winter, i loved who you are i think before i loved who 

you were, I might be a slut and a whore but I’m not a liar!, I 

really didn’t want to go so I didn’t bother, I over romanticized 

people when I was younger, I should think of something else 

than what’s between my fingers, I think Barry Manilow is one 

cool motherfucker, I think this is getting tired. Level it and 

start over, I vote for poetry … it will last longer than flowers, I 

was fifteen when I got turned on to marijuana, I went around 

with a bucket and plucked all my plants bare, I will be drooling 

over images of Ron Silver, I wish I had one ounce the compassion 

of my father, I’m uncomfortable when I’m alone or 

with others, I’m a smoker I’m a joker I’m a midnight toker, 

I’m afraid that the winter has laid hold on your fingers, I’m 

not alone in fashion dork girl world. None of us are, I’m not 

trying to be noticed but I won’t be ignored, I’m only 108 

pounds but I’m full-figured, I’m so amazed that people can do 

that to each other, I’m so sick of Dennis Hopper being Dennis 

Hopper, I’ve been accumulating shit for just about 10 years, 

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Believe me rich is better, 

I’ve never written a letter to any food before, I’ve often 

thought about reading books cover to cover, if he were any 

more stupid he’d have to be watered, if I had only been born 

twenty-five years earlier, if it’s not challenging it might as well 

be wallpaper, if people were really religious dogs would have 

owners, if they read at all it is GQ or Vanity Fair, ————- if 

you cut here you’ll probably destroy your monitor —————, 

if you don’t know about drug programs in your area, if your 

grandmother had a beard she’d be your grandfather, ill-bred 

children are always displaying their pest manners, in addition 

to creating new oysters or spiders, in any case I don’t see what 

which has to do with where, in deep shit already and ready to 

199 

[XIV]

go in “deeper”, in the actual use of expressions we make 

detours, in the service of ideological agenda, instead of jumping 

from one conclusion to another, Interviewer: What do you 

call that hairstyle? George: Arthur, invest in real estate — 

they’re not making it anymore, Iraqi forces go on alert at Iran 

border, Is getting there faster always the best way to get there?, 

Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use anymore?, it is 

finally time for some cerebral adventures, It makes you wonder 

doesn’t it? Just how normal we are, it meant a lot of breaks 

pretzels and Domino’s pizzas, it might be a woolsey expander 

fawning lackluster, it was a man who had never seen a woman 

before, it’s going to make you feel like you’ve never felt 

before, it’s hard having a crack-head as a family member, it’s 

just how things are going — getting smaller and cuter, it’s only 

another arrangement of that which you are, it’s time to break 

through the myth of scarcity — it’s over, jokes in the mirror 

may be funnier than they appear, Juanita es una muchacha 

Americana, just over 100 pounds has long legs and flowing 

hair, just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, 

Kato what is going on in that little brain of yours?, Kinda like 

Suzy Kwan eh? Kinda like Fu Manchu eh?, knowledge knowledge 

is power power is danger danger, ladies are requested 

not to have children in the bar, language is free — a collection 

is easily acquired, liar liar liar you’re a liar liar liar, life is a 

fleeting thing that you have no control over, life is much merrier 

with a Jack Russell terrier, like bubbles blowing and slowly 

sticking to each other, like that ex you can call for sex when 

you’re at your lower, listening to the same opera over and 

over, Love of Summer soon tweaked it’s way into Hate of 

Winter, love which comes from a sense of at-one-ness with 

whatever, lovers of the color blue are wonderful sex partners, 

make it easier for cops to squeal on one another, makes the 

hair whiter because he’s trying to be grayer, Mama stroked his 

[XIV] 200

dinger Daddy got a stinky finger, March started off with the 

bombing of The World Trade Center, marginals and mutants 

began to fill up those fissures, Mary had a little watch she kept 

it in her garter, maybe more attention should be paid to the 

dark side here, maybe someone who has an ego bigger than 

their hair, maybe they’d value it more if they knew it was worth 

more, Miles Davis’s “Bitches Brew” wailing on the speakers, 

monolithic vertical structure to which all cowered, more job 

advertising than any other newspaper, morning trippers sat 

dazed and confused around huge bonfires, my baloney has a 

first name it’s O-S-C-A-R, my greatest joy is a quiet nap my only 

desire, my ideas aren’t flowing like when I was younger, my 

soul is a circle whose circumference is nowhere, mystic journeyman 

and biohazard plus wax blender, nagged by an emptiness 

of not belonging anywhere, never fails to elicit compliments 

and cash offers, never saw so many saws as I saw in 

Arkansas, no I have a wife and frankly real sex is far better, no 

one could stop laughing at me with a turkey baster, no 

supreme fiction will bring all the fragments together, noisy 

music from the unemployed foreigners next door, nothing 

better to do than emulate table decor, nothing defines us the 

way rock ‘n’ roll did the Boomers, on the day that you were 

born the angels got together, one presupposes the other and 

explains the other, one time we put detergent in their family’s 

sprinklers, one was a dictator the other is a dick-toter, opacity 

of language opacity of color, out of the hot thin air between 

his cupped hand and his ear, parking restricted to 60 minutes 

in any hour, Pay attention! Pay attention! Pay attention! Right 

here!, pay for all the software you’ve pirated over the years, 

people who need people are pathetic muthafuckers, People 

who piss here are self-absorbed fascists. Piss upstairs!, Perique 

Turkish Virginia Burley Latakia, personalities are more important 

than agendas, pick your poison and be prepared to be 

201 

[XIV]

taken over, playing horizontal “The Price is Right” with Bob 

Barker, please do not send me any more of your literature, 

practice tubing and enough cleaner for ten urethras, present 

your entire talk in iambic pentameter, purple perpendicular 

speak to whoever is there, quintessential loner and perpetual 

outsider, quite a lot to achieve in one little wisp of a bra, reading 

begins when the eye receives the words as pictures, render 

therefore unto Cæsar the things which are Cæsar’s, Roy Cohn 

fist fucking Jean Genet in the judges chamber, Save-a-hoe had 

better strap on his cape the shot calla, seven years after the 

explosion of the Challenger, she opened up the pearly gates 

and bared the pelvic floor, she rolls her own tampons and 

kickstarts her own vibrator, she says if I’m good she’ll give me 

the other one next year, show as much as you can then leave 

the boys panting for more, simultaneous ejaculation by two or 

more, sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china, so 

he huffed and he puffed and he blew down the house of straw, 

so we went sappy and decided on a heart transfer, So you see 

we don’t understand what we’re saying either!, so you shave a 

cunt hair off here and a cunt hair off there, some loser who 

can’t tell twisted pair from Twisted Sister, some tropical fish 

and checkered polyester trousers, some will wonder just as 

much about the cause of thunder, some women care more 

about the compact than the powder, sorry just switching to 

Philip Glass and Ravi Shankar, steel tool eisteddfod described 

in English literature, straightness seems to be implied by the 

notion “linear”, stray catalog or Chinese menu stuffed under 

the door, stuck together by the sweet and sticky text characters, 

such a goy my son-in-law he’d eat pork on Yom Kippur, 

suddenly so many questions coming from everywhere, suspect 

as an English professor passing on tenure, take your best shot 

because in my dreams I am your father, Talk about pathetic! 

It’s a Saturday night and I’m here, targets the specific con- 

[XIV] 202

cerns of the eye area, teach your parents again how to program 

their VCR, terror invited repression which provoked 

more terror, that is no continuity going on forever, that’s a 

new one on me — constipated in India, That’s right sir. Could 

I have your daytime telephone number?, the bear asks the rabbit: 

“Does shit ever stick to your fur?”, the best long distance 

service is about to get better, the closest he could get to saying 

her name was “buh-juh”, the creatures imagine themselves to 

be the creators, the disturbance of the water caused by a propeller, 

the filling is free to squeeze out all over your fingers, 

the first question they asked us important than agendas, the 

freedom of frolicking in a bath of brown water, the future 

defined as “as soon as I get a scanner”, the future will come 

and it’s gonna be a lot bleaker, the homogenization of 

American culture, the ice cream truck in my neighborhood 

plays “Helter Skelter”, the litany is growing tedious and seems 

better, the more you are “nice” the more you accumulate 

anger, the Narcissus generation enters the opera, the neighborhood 

kids refer to him as a “rock wilder”, the pathetic 

Bundys and their yuppie-bourgeois neighbors, the road to the 

cemetery is paved with sufferers, the sections will continue to 

differ in their nature, the show today is about pathological 

liars, The show was totally cool. There were pickles everywhere, 

the spirit rides an individual on the shoulders, The 

War The War The War The War. What happened in the War?, 

The world becomes source material. Take what is required, 

The world is boring and we are the kings and queens of bore, 

the worst example of the Dean Martin inheritors, their behavior 

improved so their parents bought them a car, Theophilus 

Thistle the successful thistle sifter, “There are people who say 

it’s crazy” he said. “I wonder…”, there is no reason why you or 

your loved ones should suffer, there is no result that is special 

or particular, there was a hand there a leg there and a foot 

203 

[XIV]

over there, thereby diminishes his love and increases his fear, 

they just don’t make good roles like this for women anymore, 

they picked up his diarrhea with shreds of newspaper, they 

take the honey and the dough and put it together, they’re not 

fun to do when you have sore ankles that’s for sure, think 

about it for a minute and give me an answer, this attempt at a 

novel is a gimmicky failure, this is the way we scrub the floor 

scrub the floor scrub the floor, (This message brought to you 

by your local dairy farmers), this novel sprawls and meanders 

just like its characters, this week’s lecture: underwater life by 

Peter Fisher, This will be the suicide of my “career.” What 

career?, those who tortured started wars promised glory 

turned out whores, though common people have no great 

insight into virtue, three escaped lunatics have been spotted in 

blah blah blah, three smart fellows all felt smart they all felt 

smart together, time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the 

future, took my twenty dollar bills and he vanished in the air, 

touch the things that everyone else is just too damn short for, 

tour but our and succor four gas alas and Arkansas, traffic tickets 

black eyes cut-off penises and world wars, twenty five years 

ago today a river caught on fire, Up to your eyeballs in plaster! 

And not even plastered!, urban guerilla warfare aimed at the 

power structure, urges deep in the ululations of the retina, use 

your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa, uses thumbtacks 

to post notes on his refrigerator, Vanilla Buttshake 

BibliRef and Research plus fodder, walk down to the highway 

and throw bottles at police cars, Watch them soap. Watch 

them shower. Watch their budding blooms flower, watching 

Mommy get slapped around or stuffed into a car, we ask this of 

the conventional theatergoer, we don’t want to be brainwashed 

by our own propaganda, we got mad responses and 

even some correct answers, we have a couple of different types 

of liars here, we have been looking at every possible angle 

[XIV] 204

here, we live at a time in which “modern” no longer makes 

clear, we went to a shopping mall and laughed at all the shoppers, 

we’d still be dumping our old motor oil in the sewers, 

we’re gonna die and I’m wearing my mother’s underwear, 

we’re housebroken don’t eat much and change our own newspapers, 

we’ve both lately become obsessive calorie-counters, 

we’ve made high heels that are as comfortable as sneakers, 

well East Coast girls are hip I really dig those styles they wear, 

well into her cigarette perhaps her 10 th in two hours, were 

three people thirty and older getting together, What could it 

be? Maybe my teeth were not the right color, What great 

advantage has the foamer over the lather?, What great advantage 

has the former over the latter?, What great advantage has 

the latter over the former?, What is the number to the nearest 

100 of hairs?, What is worse than running a baby over with a 

car?, What’s the trick? You won’t find it by deconstructing 

Flaubert, when I came across the Playtex Thank Goodness It 

Fits bra, when I hear the word culture I reach for my revolver, 

when subjected to extreme feminine heat and pressure, when 

the cause disappears the effect also disappears, Where did we 

all learn to think in the exact same manner?, who watched 

Mary Tyler Moore reruns and wept for Rhoda, whoever can 

snort an entire jar of peanut butter, Why do Jewish people 

have such big noses? Because air, Why is there a big fucking 

hole in the ozone layer?, Why not spend more time in the 

nude mall of America?, wild mood swings hostility or abusive 

behavior, Will you miss that nerve-rattling ride to LaGuardia? 

Naaaaaaah, with his five o’ clock shadow he smelled of 3-day 

old beer, within an hour he had drained a huge chrome bowl 

of water, women are used to sell cars glasses bottles of water, 

women wear make-up to bed and wake up with facial hair, 

women will always ask questions that have no right answer, 

Would you describe yourself as a thinker or a stinker?, write 

205 

[XIV]

your account number on your check or money order, x slash 

sk8 ‘net heads slash edge-culture slash slashers, yelling at cabdrivers 

in English wastes your time and theirs, “Yes!” (that is 

“Yes I’m doing it either now or later”), you are largely unconscious 

and stuck in worldly pleasures, you be doing nose candy 

on the Bowie coke mirror, you can get a strapped shoplifter in 

my brandy snifter, you do not need that poppy from 

Mesopotamia, you squeeze more out of an hour than your 

peers do in a year, You think you’re getting that new skin disease? 

I think you are, You’re an oxymoron? Never seen a live 

one before, you’re welcome to call me a misogynist — I don’t 

care, you’re not the easiest person in the world to shop for, 

you’re right about that butter — it’s not bubbling anymore, 

you’re washing the same clothes over and over and over, your 

cocksure allure will not endure this expenditure, your expansive 

thinking concerning the “gray areas”, your salad’s gonna 

be wearing more dressing than you are, Your time is up. Leave 

now or we will force you from power; 

[XIV] 206

XV 

A complicated irregular interior structure, a cucumber and a 

tomato meet in a saladbar, a disgruntled reader gets up and 

leaves via the front door, a female figure used in architecture 

as a pillar, a horizontal structure vs. a vertical structure, a 

kitchy choir of double-speed munchkins oh-oh-oh yeah-yeahs, 

a roast beef sandwich with horse radish dressing is in order, a 

total embrace of the world and its chaotic order, a true iconoclast 

an intellectual skateboarder, a varied black brown mineral 

with a shiny slick texture, Aa. Viinaa sitruksilla. Kallis kurtisaani 

ivaa, according to my best recollection I don’t remember, 

add some sliced paranoia a few delusions of grandeur, 

adorned with cheap posters of recently deceased movie stars, 

after a while I got tired of the “spread-out” and “roll-over”, all 

that was solid has melted and all that is left is air, all things 

considered I’d rather be in Philadelphia, all will vanish as will 

we as have all our predecessors, an homage to a certain plant 

wrapped in brown cigar paper, an ingenious easy-to-use multipurpose 

opener, and his patented home recording fish eye 

self portraiture, and just because you have a poontang doesn’t 

mean you’re cooler, and remember the girl’s pleasure is as 

important as yours, and sadly the cross-eyed bear’s been put to 

sleep behind the stairs, and she’s on a bit of an emotional 

helta-skelta, and take care not to roll your food from one 

cheek to the other, And today the world feels fair. All is just. 

All is in order, and when it’s time to relax Miller stands clear 

beer after beer, and with that cute grin of his he does get away 

207

with murder, animal loots foliated detail of stool lamina, 

another ambition of mine is to own a Land-Rover, arrayed herself 

in manly garb and confronted her brother, as a vessel that 

has held garlic paste retains the odor, as if to underscore the 

fragility of each venture, as long as there has been civilization 

there have been wars, as Nietzsche cried after he turned 

against Wagner: “Air! More Air!”, at 95 degrees I don’t exactly 

want clam chowder, B-I-T-C-H means “Being In Total Control 

of Her”, Bad Girls Rated R starts Friday in theaters everywhere, 

“Basically emptiness thrills me” said one to another, be 

a loyal plastic robot for a world that doesn’t care, because he 

has “skins” tattooed on his wrist but he has long hair, because 

it represents a face which strikes me as familiar, because 

women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure, 

Beethoven was the first to do it with a full orchestra, believe 

me you can become enlightened sitting in a chair, between 

France and Spain on one side and England on the other, 

blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in 

years, block the down escalator for an hour doing Stairmaster, 

blockade and winter deepen misery in America, but a bit of 

better butter will make my batter better, but no music just 

screeches and whelps and farts from the tuba, But we may ask 

what of all that I have worked for all these years?, but you can’t 

stop thinking of those little girls over the chairs, Can one 

ignore ideology in assessing Wagner?, can’t distinguish 

between jacking off and strapping a razor, can’t get excited 

about anything including colors, Canadian Government Pays 

Off Brainwashing-Survivors, Careful that’s the only decent nail 

I’ve got on that finger!, Carlos Casteneda is the guitarist for 

Santana, central themes of bye to his bleeding head well I 

never saw, certain words and phrases are repeated over and 

over, click on active window and print monitor will disappear, 

completely unrealistic unless you’re a bodybuilder, (concern- 

[XV] 208

ing the sad fate of Earl Ugolino of Pisa), David Copperfield 

who is engaged to Claudia Schiffer, decentralization of the 

geography-of-power, Demi Moore won’t really sleep with you 

for a million dollars, distingush between [a] Noah Webster [b] 

Daniel Webster, divano divano mi devi mostrare come si fa, Do 

Not Drive Other Drunks Home Never. Absolutely never, do 

not reject one thing only to chase after another, Do Not 

Remove This Disclaimer Under Penalty Of Law, Do you joke 

about taking a dump in the cookie batter?, Do you like my 

haircut? It looks like a yarmulke of hair!, Does a pen complain 

that it has written too many letters?, “Does your child taste 

salty?” “I don’t know I haven’t tasted her”, don’t forget Ma 

Paul Bunyan Day is just around the corner, Eat flaming death 

elitist liberal media piggers!, empty oneself of all previously 

acquired ideas, eschew ampersands & abbreviations etc., everyone 

is tired of seeing the same ol’ names on fliers, everything 

that happens in the West happens in India, eyebrows and 

pubic hair are usually the same color, fan has only two speeds 

— impossible to make it lower, favor reciprocators punish 

nonreciprocators, for the most part this is a sweet dreaming 

ambient sleeper, fortunately bars smell like smoke which isn’t 

against the law, free speech is the right to shout “theater” in a 

crowded fire, Freud said writers had said all that he said 

before and better, Fuck yes. Bring it on baby. Call it what you 

want — I don’t care, give me b-b-b-bread and b-b-b-b-b-b-butter, 

go to a pet shop and buy a fancy looking pet collar, God 

has given you one face and you make yourselves another, graciousness 

does not include showing your nipples to strangers, 

great for bullies assholes sociology profs whatever, green hose 

snaked over side of blue pool slowly dripping water, green 

weeds growing out of an old bathtub resemble flowers, gripe 

and smoke and otherwise play ball with a dying monster, Grow 

a giant beard like ZZ Top — them guys is superstars!, Haven’t 

209 

[XV]

you ever heard the term “disgruntled postal worker?”, he has 

said that he likes to think of himself as a comma, he is trampling 

out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored, he 

reprimanded me for my improper use of grammer, he said 

“Just because your wife’s out of town doesn’t mean you are”, 

he stamped out his cigarette and began to roll another, he 

takes a photo of me and Allen standing together, he’s been 

celebrating the same victories for 20 years, her ancestors came 

to this country looking for bananas, here he shall see no 

enemy but winter and rough weather, Hey great place Bianca! 

I like your bathroom the most :-))) See ya!!, history is not just 

a bunch of faces strung together, Hng! Hng! Ia! Ia Cthluhu 

f’thagn! F-f-f-father!, hopefully work unimpeded by mood 

swings fear of failure, How about a 3-way with Big Dog? No. 

Maybe in two years, How have the sixties ideals influenced the 

nineties so far?, I am sorry to say but your wife has acute angina, 

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar, I confess. I 

was the person who started the great Bra Wars, I could probably 

be a Republican party leader, I did some finish carpentry 

for Jimmy Buffett down there, I don’t want to be little Miss 

Priss standing around the bar, I feel naked very vulnerable 

when I get thinner, I find something which feels prickly and 

hard behind this molar, I hate me and I hate you. I hate my 

life and I hate yours, I have to admit it’s getting better a little 

better, I know you been with others but you know I’ll never 

quit ya, I leave out the ones I don’t want and I use all the others, 

i lick your stomack clean while i fuck you harder and harder, 

I like to fuck small women ‘cause it makes my dick feel bigger, 

I placed a mirror under his nose — no breath vapor 

appeared, I put my more noble priorities on the back burner, i 

still eat with my fingers instead of using silverware, I think people 

tend to forget that trees are living creatures, I understand 

how to make a better garbage collector, I want you to know 

[XV] 210

that I just didn’t come out of nowhere, I wanted to join that 

2500 year-old-river, I was blown away when my dentist told me 

I had tartar, I was going to Long Island thinking I had the 

answer, I was the guy who picked the fly spots out of the black 

pepper, I went over to Alison’s with a six pack of Zima, I wish I 

were a poet I want to say something tender, I would go out 

tonight but I haven’t got a thing to wear, I would like to function 

as a “professional amateur”, I would say that at this point 

we are !/3 of the way there, I wouldn’t call you fat but I 

wouldn’t call you thin either, I’m attending a perfume convention 

as the guest sniffer, I’m no fat little fuck and I’m no virile 

young stud either, I’m sorry I can’t hear you — there’s a 

banana in my ear!, I’m going home to have lunch and supper. 

The rock can stay here, I’m with you and you’re with me and 

so we are all together, if all the words were interesting all 

would be lackluster, if anyone calls for me like you know who 

from you know where, if God intended men to smoke he 

would have set him on fire, if I catch squirrels that have taken 

over my bird feeder, if I had a penny for my thoughts I’d be a 

millionaire, if I was naked (and I sometimes am) I’d have texture, 

if I were to say to you girl we couldn’t get much higher, if 

it sucks dark it can be classified as a dark sucker, if it wasn’t for 

my marleys I’d’ve given ‘im what for, If love is blind then why 

is black lingerie so popular?, if we approach that moment with 

a preconceived idea, if you answered yes to even one question 

see your doctor, if you can keep your head while those about 

you are losing theirs, if you have any peanuts or buns give 

them to the keeper, if you like this (or even if you hate it for 

that matter), illegal drug use leads to mass-culture psychedelia, 

imagine the Sony boardroom: “Son — we ain’t makin’ 

art here”, (in a high strained unnatural voice close to hysteria), In 

what ways have these timeless truths renovated your nature?, 

insisting on adopting the middle path in all matters, internet: 

211 

[XV]

transnational CB populated by bores, Is it ever noticeable in 

his outward demeanor?, Isn’t it a pity that we’ve confused culture 

with nature?, It could happen in Germany. It could happen 

anywhere, it chewed up half the place and I had to 

replace the sofa, it was the first thing I’ve done that more than 

my family saw, it’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing 

Milkbone underwear, it’s 4’oclock in the morning and there’s 

people everywhere, it’s like that tree falling in the forest when 

no one is there, it’s not as if one person enjoys it more than 

the other, it’s the last frontier and it will be a permanent frontier, 

it’s too bad these aren’t two great tastes that taste great 

together, it’s wrong to separate infants from their imprisoned 

mothers, jammies to make ya slammy in no particular order, 

Jesus saves — but Moses was one hell of an impulse shopper, 

just as every cop is a criminal and all the sinners, just like 

watching that flashing 12:00 on your VCR, keep changing connect 

with everything continue forever, keep writing until you 

hit the sound that you are looking for, Kenny you’re getting a 

great collection of ephemera, kind of hard to understand if 

you’re not from her area, Koresh promised that the standoff 

would end up engulfed in fire, like a ketchup bottle everyone 

gets a squeeze out of her, locomotive engineers — death-train 

driving charioteers, Look at that big old elephant that just ran 

under my chair!, majik is the act of manipu- M | | | | | | lating 

media, may your bollocks turn cubical and fester at the corners, 

maybe a middle-American housewife has it better, men 

are certainly not as polygamous as gorillas, men just look at a 

woman and they want to have sex with her, Microsoft is going 

to own the world in the next three years, Microsoft officials 

posing as IBM customers, Mr. Rogers explains why certain kids 

can’t be his neighbor, my ax-happy top woman can back me 

into a corner, my condoms my credit cards money that 9mm, 

my method required nothing except your brain and your fin- 

[XV] 212

gers, my parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air, my 

pheromone operating system is better than yours, name all 

the years that have been leap-years since 1894, no doubt the 

universe is unfolding as it should whether, no one at work lets 

me get close due to my ripe aroma, nobody writes about his 

obsession with Jody Foster, not that anyone has the attention 

span to read this far…, nothing brilliant about me — I just 

had a good idea, now that I’m enlightened I’m more miserable 

than ever, offstage I hate her but onstage I’m madly in 

love with her, “On what occasion do you lie?” “To convey truth 

to others”, once again you have failed to make any sense whatsoever, 

One for the money Two for p*ssy and Three for foreign 

cars, one is a hit two is a sequel three is a formula, one of 

these duplications is the pair of toenail clippers, One two! 

One two! And through and through the vorpal blade went 

snicker, one’s becoming “someone” is defined by these power 

centers, online and inline: new linear cultural ideas, Oprah 

would be proud of us. We are not really male bashers, or it’s 

like two men in the desert with one glass of water, over which a 

sword was suspended by a single horse-hair, overcoming 

tragedy and learning to stick together, Patty in a wet T-shirt 

Patty in a money-maker, people are blaming me for the 

Spanish-American War, people who do not let you put your 

feet on the furniture, please folks just give me a second to get 

myself together, pleasure in standing against everything the 

hippies stood for, punished by being always within sight and 

reach of water, rarely is there a cough sniff sigh wiggle twitch 

squirm or quiver, regard women as inferior therefore more 

sinister, repeat: should … I hardly ever use the word “will” anymore), 

resigned to the ubiquity of corporate connectors, 

“Reviled did I live” said I “as evil I did deliver”, Roar of 

Airboats May Someday Rattle Sleepy Congo River, Same Day 

Dry Cleaning — All Garments Ready In 48 Hours, satellites 

213 

[XV]

ing information revolution to China, She doesn’t have a 

phone. She doesn’t even have a beeper, she has got blood in 

her hair she has got vomit in her hair, she puts it in the socket 

and the world revolves around her, She said seeing The 

Boredoms was the highlight of her summer, she was only the 

huntsman’s daughter but all the horse manure, she was smart 

and vibrant with a terrific sense of humor, she’s always 

dreamed of adding a woman’s face to Mt. Rushmore, simply 

because some words are more interesting than others, Sirhan 

Sirhan reveals his real name is just Sirhan. Like “Cher”, slicing 

seatbelts that assholes leave hanging out of their car doors, so 

fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar, so it takes 

some courage to move forward bucking the culture, so now 

I’m something I thought I’d never be: a commuter, softening 

up and letting a more gentle side take over, someone will pay 

pay in an orgy of flying limbs and gore, son you ain’t a writer 

until somebody else says you are, spending hours filling sheets 

of paper with Chinese characters, spending stifling afternoons 

trying to deny my hunger, stab his ass a reminded past of what 

the fuck we live for, starts Friday April 29 th at theaters everywhere, 

Stockhausen not Zukofsky the musical phrase remember, 

strumpet is a mature polliwog stew cookie puss hardcore, 

such a long long time to be gone and a short time to be there, 

sung by a pair of inbred twins one of whom has throat cancer, 

tendency to anthropomorphize hardware and software, that 

Nostradamus crap never even gave you the shivers, that’s not 

‘tudinal nor but doesn’t knuckle under either, the accepting 

of what comes without preconceived ideas, The CBS Evening 

News. Where Your Whole World Comes Together, the dark 

sucker theory proves the existence of dark suckers, the distance 

in which a ray of light can travel in one year, The 

History of Rasselas Prince of Abissinia, the ideal form disseminated 

by the power centers, The last financial panic on Wall 

[XV] 214

Street occurred in what year?, the methane emissions really 

pick up the sunset colors, the mind of a democrat and the 

might of a dictator, the more time you spend staring at a 

screen the cooler you are, the piece goes through many 

changes and this is from another, the pot was already divided 

into eighths and quarters, the rich get high on the smell of 

their freshly printed dollars, the sound of the final syllable 

really doesn’t matter, the thirst for pleasure the thirst for 

being the thirst for power, the Torah gives light the Torah 

burns but only the dollar, Then: BOOM! You blow up without 

any warning whatsoever, there are no sufficient words to 

describe the beauty found here, There are reports that he 

stalked Nicole. He isn’t a “stalker”, there is no reason to 

regard women as inferior, there’s a formula out there just waiting 

to be discovered, there’s nothing lonelier than a Buddhist 

in Alabama, they were awful in every respect: taste texture and 

color, this fall it feels like high school again — free and fresh 

all over, this is just not a time for one-upmanship and threelegged 

chairs, this section is dedicated to our honest typewriter, 

this text disguised as a sort of New Age vacation 

brochure, Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I 

have others, Three shakes only. Two is unhygienic. Four is a 

wanker, throw your hands up in the air and wave ‘em like you 

just don’t care, Time magazine to do a swimsuit issue of world 

leaders, tired of passing motorists honking and yelling “I had 

her!”, transmitted through the air from one point on earth to 

another, truly Allah made you in the image of Heather 

Locklear, twenty years ago I crawled into a bottle of vodka, two 

nuts are downstairs trying to shove an organ through the door, 

— until someone throws money at it — and then it disappears, 

urine (the most dense) feces vomit sweat and body odor, U.S. 

Is Guilty Violating International Law, U.S. Says Strike Crippled 

Iraq’s Capacity For Terror, ummm … it’s a random string of 

215 

[XV]

unintelligible letters, use random number generator on nerdcalculator, 

very well remind me to beat up myprick a bit later, 

vinyl is fun to throw across the room when you’re drunk & 

bored, walk by the playground and gawk at the beautiful 

young mothers, Was raw tap ale not a reviver at one lap at 

Warsaw?, we are not fucking hippies and are not controlled 

like they were, we liked him he liked us and we took him up 

on his offer, we prefer to be alone with some privacy in our 

car, we’re just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl year after 

year, we’re not going to be on the cover of Vogue forever, 

we’ve hit absolute bottom we can’t go any lower, we’ve seen 

her posing pouty-lipped next to the Dalai Lama, wean myself 

from the object of my attachments and desires, wear it as 

underwear or outerwear almost anywhere, wedge the jaws 

under the nail’s center and shimmy them over, welcome to 

what may be the worst hay fever season ever, Were you in the 

same accident as Sammy Davis Jr.?, What do you get when you 

cross an elephant with a hooker?, What do you think of the 

enormous success of the Breeders?, What do you want me to 

do dress in drag and do the hula?, What historic meals would 

you have liked to serve? The Last Supper, What is blue and 

fucks old age pensioners? Hypothermia, What is your reaction 

to the concept of a bra holster?, What liquid is used on the 

back of plate glass to make mirrors?, “What red blue is in?” 

Grammar was apparently beyond her, what the eyes are for the 

outer world fasts are for the inner, when all unclean spirits will 

be cast out by the Messiah, when god was handing out brains 

you must have been holding the door, when the acid heads 

found out about the net and computers, when the passages 

begin to get longer I get hotter, when this girl at the art museum 

asked me whom I liked better, when Thunders and Nolan 

couldn’t score dope it was the last straw, When will they learn 

that AIDS is a virus not a behavior?, when you ask yourself the 

[XV] 216

only question that really matters:, Where did you find these 

children? How much are you selling them for?, where filling 

up pages becomes an obsessional matter, Where have all the 

chickies gone? To be so swank so debonair!, Where’s the 

angel? Who’s the devil? Who bent the halo? Who cares?, 

whether this is true in the present case I leave to others, who 

cares Grandma’s bathwater was horse urine (hey same color), 

Who has thought of those lyrics since the Eisenhower era?, 

who hasn’t had his butt whiskers singed off and I’ll consider, 

whose spirit commenced to express its qualities through matter, 

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck 

together?, Why Cindy Crawford posed for photos that shocked 

America, Why concern yourself with something you have no 

control over?, Why did Moses receive the Ten Commandments 

from Jehovah?, Why do people dress in black in the middle of 

the summer?, Why do people that want to visit John Doe ring 

my buzzer?, Why every time I look around another brain gets 

splattered?, will you still need me will you still feed me when 

I’m sixty four, with or without marriage most women become 

“single mothers”, women need to feel like there are people 

worse off than they are, Wonder why the popcorn at the 

movies always tastes better?, working in TV is like making love 

to a gorilla, Wow! We never get to go in big ones like this anymore!, 

writers are better off staying away from one another, 

writing a line that was too short and I would have to uurraahh, 

(written by hand in ink on a small sheet of handmade paper), you 

are cornered in your home by a knife-wielding intruder, you 

can start with a nice bed of fresh megalomania, you don’t get 

older and wiser Rosie you just get older, You don’t like the 

idea that blacks live in America?, you feel like the night after 

and you haven’t been anywhere, you have to borrow from your 

Mastercard to pay your Visa, you have to notice sooner or later 

that there’s no future, you just want another political cause to 

217 

[XV]

march under, you know I’d really love to fuck your brains out 

but it appears, you know the old story: who is Shakespeare 

who isn’t Shakespeare, you may not feel a drop of rain but you 

may walk on water, you shouldn’t judge a man by the hair on 

his butt hand twister, you stand in the clean cold water and 

you catch your own dinner, you’d stick your finger up your 

nose and pull out all the boogers, you’re so completely what 

you are you know you know what you are, your architectural 

dreams will materialize later, your booty has turned brother 

against brother in a great war, your low frequency woofer’s on 

a high frequency tweeter, your shoes are so old when you step 

on gum you know the flavor; 

[XV] 218

XVI 

A different kind of company a different kind of car, a eunuch 

is a man who is cut out to be a bachelor, a member of my generation 

is no longer a member, a new flow isn’t based on 

something you come up with on paper, A pan of biscuits. A 

pan of mixed biscuits. A biscuit mixer, a “saucy nomad” is just 

a wanderer that walks with flavor, abstinence is the only way to 

be 100% sure, adolescent hyperbole that ambiance seems to 

be for, “After all” he said to me “we are the occupying power”, 

after them there comes a saviour setting standards for behavior, 

all he remembers about his middle name is the first letter, 

all opportunities will present themselves in their own manner, 

all things are possible except skiing through a revolving door, 

and as you dig you uncover one wonder after another, and it 

was in this way that I gained insight into the nature, and 

laughing about killing anybody who touches their car, And 

look at the way they dress! More like car salesmen than art 

dealers, and no kosher chicken goes through more inspections 

than an Empire, and remember if things don’t work out 

don’t forget the flea powder, and she put it in her batter and it 

made her batter better, and she’s about to be featured in an 

article in Esquire, and so dear friends you just have to carry on 

the dream is over, and some bovine perspiration on her upper 

lip area, and then I banged my head against the wall for a couple 

of hours, and while these hallways have been silent I’ve 

been quite rowdy elsewhere, Are my nostrils bigger? C’mon 

take a good look. Are they bigger?, Are they at higher risk 

219

than non-buggery reception members?, Are you gonna be part 

of the solution or are you gonna, as I was going up the stair I 

met a man who wasn’t there, as the years go by both the teeth 

and the memory grow weaker, as this continues on and we still 

seem to be getting nowhere, as time went on I began to tire of 

the manual labor, Ask dumb questions get dumb answers. Ask 

smart questions get no answers, be a bummer be a bummer 

he’s a bummer every summer, because I bet there are some 

Chihuahuas with some good ideas, being alone with yourself is 

increasingly unpopular, better at sex than anyone — now all 

he needs is a partner, blood hair semen and fiber inside the 

cap were black curly hairs, Build a better mousetrap and the 

world will beat a path to your door?, But I don’t know what 

good is a guy who can’t get into a bar?, but somewhere in 

between the slurping and sucking golden showers, but their 

emotions are such that one harsh word could end an affair, 

but this general order is the effect of skill and labor, But who 

in hell is going to defend us from our defenders?, by and who 

told me to my own. So I did. Now I can’t. Bummer, call 1-800- 

WET-TITS and enter your credit card number, ‘cause I lived 

here whileength and loves this whole bubbly underwater, 

changed name from highly catchy “Schickelgruber” to boring 

“Hitler”, chargoggagoggmanchuggagoggchaubunagungamaug, 

continued use despite knowledge of harm to oneself 

and others, could be a legitimate response to muddy up the 

waters, cries of “Nonsense!” and “Pish tush” as well as “Pshaw!” 

and “Horsefeathers”, delivered with a whine as opposed to the 

grrrrowl they’re looking for, Diarrhea of the mouth. 

Constipation of the ideas, Did you ever? Did I ever? Did you 

ever! Did I ever!, Disclammer … Disclamur … Whatever … If I 

can’t spell Disclaimer, Discord In Europe Over Average 

Length Male Private Member, Do not say “You are bad.” Say 

only “You are good but be better”, Do you have a tattoo nor- 

[XVI] 220

mally concealed by your pubic hair?, Does your head ache? 

Well it should ‘cause I’m standing on your fucking hair, dog 

fight trainers are blamed for missing pets in Philadelphia, 

don’t get your hopes up that you will come away enlightened 

this year, Don’t you think so reader rather saying lather bather 

father? Dr. Johnson would never waste his time discussing the 

weather, (ed. note: it’s your dime calling card extender whatever), 

encapsulated for progressive release for up to eight 

hours, Ever been a member of Aryan Nation or the Order?, 

every child must be made aware every child must be made to 

care, everybody knows that vinyl and vulva don’t go together, 

Everyone I know loves Green Day. If you don’t go suck your 

mama!, Fat Slags Johnny Fartpants Felix and his Amazing 

Underwear, Finney also has some fresher fish that’s fresher 

and much finer, “Force is the only thing that an Asiatic has 

respect for”, gentle reader — those who bring sweet rolls to 

work should not be quartered, Glasgow waves go rolling over 

rolling over rolling over, Go ahead shit anywhere you want. It’s 

not the shit that matters, Go over time and time again. 

Consider and reconsider, goesxtoo cool for the timexahead of 

your daysxmature, Govinda chuckled “Ninety percent of the 

stuff is padded yaar”, gummy residues leftover paper-glue sections 

and tell-tear, he kicked me and told me that I had to 

sleep on the bathroom floor, he looked at me at though I were 

a side dish he hadn’t ordered, he might as well hang up his 

sleigh and put Prancer out to pasture, (he wags his finger and 

chants in the extremity of his fear), he went into a deep depression 

and alcohol took over, he will be trapped there holding this 

egg by two fingers through the door, head to the left as soon 

as you’ve dropped into the dungeon proper, here’s to Dick 

from Yorba Linda the inferno’s latest cinda, Hey — when I 

come to New York can we totally shave each other?, How can 

you be in two places at once when you’re not anywhere?, How 

221 

[XVI]

many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?, How 

many people would welcome the chance to put out a campfire?, 

I am not naïve about TV just being for fun either, I 

began to see that the separation of the mind and ear, I blew 

three chili dogs and a good two gallons of Budweiser, I did not 

choose this particular spot rather than another, I did not 

choose this particular word rather than another, I dream of 

simplicity but I’m as far from it as ever, I finally blurted unable 

to hold back any longer, I got a cauterized brain and a heart 

shot off at the knickers, I hate Jocks. Why did God create 

Jocks? Why are they so popular?, I have seen the future and 

it’s 99 percent crapola, I might suggest a reading of this work 

which is non-linear, I never stepped on the cracks because I 

thought I’d hurt my mother, I once killed a rabbit with a 

Susan B. Anthony dollar, I propose to fight it out on this line if 

it takes all summer, I quit my job I cut my hair I cut my boss 

cause I don’t care, I really like the idea of Hallmark as propaganda, 

I told him of my plans to travel for a month in India, I 

used to measure my Demeters with clever Pentameters, I want 

to buy the block I live on and evict all the neighbors, I was captivated 

by the rhythms and sounds included here, I weeded 

out a lot of the nonsense that was in there before, I will use 

the exact same sounds and methods as used in No., I would 

have to say that we need to get rid of Mister Rogers, I would 

just smile at the woman and say “Sorry ma’am wrong number.”, 

I would prefer to reject the rather narrower idea, I’d 

love to go out with you but I’m having all my plants neutered, 

I’d hate to mistake those pills for Tic-Tacs. They’re for diarrhea, 

I’m a villain I’m just chillin’ like Bob Dylan I smoke 

cheeba, I’m just a modern guy of course I’ve had it in my ear 

before, I’ve been trying to figure out that one for the last 

twenty years, I’ve come to a stage where I don’t want money or 

fame anymore, I’ve tried before but not any longer I don’t 

[XVI] 222

care anymore, idiot kids who scribble graffiti on walls in one 

color, if a woman’s wearing a good perfume that’s all she 

needs to wear, If marriages are made in heaven why not have 

your wedding there?, If you were going to shoot a mime would 

you use a silencer?, imagine that we know nothing at all of the 

inner structure, in and around the lake mountains come out 

of the sky and stand there, in case of fire do your utmost to 

alarm the hotel porter, in golds and reds visually complex and 

slickly engineered, In her own defense she said “I have won a 

major prize before”, Incest although tempting is bad. 

Especially for trumpeteers, is receiving counseling for her 

addiction to mascara, Is there a philosophical point of view 

being given here?, it bridges over the bridges it towers over 

the towers, It is. It is. It is! The Apostles of Bur have the 

answer, it is mostly cloudy in the metropolitan area, it merely 

raises the bar one inch higher and one speed faster, it really is 

a free and open marketplace of ideas, it’s because girls grow 

up playing with dolls and boys playing with cars, it’s better to 

have a horrible ending than to have horrors, It’s divine to own 

a dick. From the tiniest little tadger, it’s not that you and I are 

so clever but that the others are, ivy privy famous clamour and 

enamour rime with hammer, just before total God-realization I 

would see a blue pear, Land The Gnatcatcher Calls Home May 

Be Open To Developers, less accessible than the first toasted 

madman though most prefer, lied to Peter in regard to the 

price which he had received for, long as I get the feeling it 

could be chronic or whatever, Magic Markersr White Outr and 

WD-40r, mark the difference moreover between mover plover 

Dover, militant feminists and fundamentalist pistol-packers, 

mother said while drawing water “Gee it’s hard to raise a 

daughter”, murphy’s nubbies peaching round shuggle pups 

torpedoing whoppers, My play was a complete success. The 

audience was a failure, 9 to 5 making 40k to 50k just remem- 

223 

[XVI]

er, Nixon got us in with China now he’s gone to something 

fina, no anarchy run is truly complete without toilet paper, no 

goin’ nekkid no alien symbiotes no secret wars, now let’s move 

on to the world of Mr. and Mrs. Consumer, now that I’m out 

of the business nobody calls me anymore, obscure poetry journals 

with names like dire or Gauzy Vapors, offer free cigarettes 

alcohol and drugs to pregnant mothers, often older and sometimes 

more fly than a purist skate gnarler, on a trans-Siberian 

sex bender with Miss Estonia, one disgrace is invisible to them 

because of the other, one particle of dirt permissible per cubit 

foot of air, Oskar Schlemmer couldn’t face sex without a cigarette 

later, our gay poetic assertiveness in the form of usura, 

Our trash is very stinky these days. That’s because it’s hot in 

here, perfect percussionist for an a cappella group (duh duh 

duh…), Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater beat his wife and wouldn’t 

feed her, peters out into pointlessness with superfluous lackluster, 

pleased with the twangdillows of poor Crowdero in a 

country fair, puts on women’s wig and introduces self as 

“Connie Rather”, quiver gather limp September scenes I shall 

always remember, rajahs a coloratura a rut a Rolo cash a jar, 

reading from the account book — as if he had been saying a 

prayer, reality is a nice place but I wouldn’t want to live there, 

reefer does not rime with deafer feoffer does and zephyr 

heifer, relationships get paranoid when standing outside bourgeois 

laws, remember not Seltzer or tonic water — it’s 

“sparkling water”, rhymed off-the-skull about everything from 

sneakers to camcorders, roasting in the joyous belchings of 

the cheese-colored flamethrowers, saying “blabbee” he’s also 

extremely good at falling over, send an instant karma to me 

initial it with loving care, sexual escapades of your partner and 

your partner’s partners, she didn’t even need an outfit when 

she tried out for Star Wars, She is a master teacher. Therefore 

he is a master baiter?, she said to me “God you’ve really kept 

[XVI] 224

that weight off since India”, she was workin’ in a topless place 

and I stopped in for a beer, she’s not a girl who misses much 

doo bee doo bee doodoo oh yeah, Shoes goes does. Now first 

say: finger. And then: singer ginger linger, Sir Francis circumcised 

the world with a 100 foot clipper, sitting behind a desk 

all day and staring at a computer, sitting up and looking 

around for nothing in particular, 6.23.94 Dear Jackson and 

Anne — I cut my hair, slide between aestheticized nihilistic 

kitsch and pure horror, smelling anything fragrant provided 

that there are no vapours, So why is it when you catch a cold 

you get all hot with a fever?, some children mocking Elisha’s 

bald pate were devoured by two bears, some downright stupid 

people — like my 80 year-old grandmother, some people try to 

be tall by cutting off the heads of others, some seek the finer 

things in life — others simply ask the butler, somehow they 

seem so sluggish — more like clothes salesman than art dealers, 

sometimes there’s a voice in the back of my head that says 

“I’m still here”, standing by a parking meter when I caught a 

glimpse of Rita, stranger does not rime with anger neither 

does devour with clangour, Suckmeof. Tightfit. Upyoursh. 

Vulva. Yourprick. And Zipper. Zipper?, taperecordertaperecordertaperecordertaperecorder, 

that’s what I like about the 

Internet … no fucking accents there, the best gift I can give 

you is beginning to believe you are, the big vessel should hold 

the smaller (older must bear the younger, the democracy of 

being which extends beyond all cultures, the difference 

between the winners and the losers is a hair, the ending 

sucked but I had achieved a technical Nirvana, the excitement 

of urban anarchy every night at dinner, the FOOBAZ routine 

uses A3 as an accumulator, the hardness of egotism disappears 

and softness enters, the honor value of four honors in one 

hand fifth in partners, the inspiration of his lifetime and the 

hits of their careers, the library of the Ptolemies at Alexandria, 

225 

[XVI]

the luck that is ordained for you will be coveted by others, the 

magic the mystery the memory will last forever, the manager 

has personally passed all the water served here, The moral 

weight of language. Are some words heavier than others?, the 

passing away of mental and physical phenomena, the result 

scarcely belongs between a single pair of covers, the thing 

about poetry is that it’s a kind of … war … over, the time to 

hesitate is through no time to wallow in the mire, the whole 

world seems to be suffering from ‘80s-nostalgia, the words 

come slowly at first but later come faster and harder, the world 

floats on a box of cheese watch it next time you are there, 

there are some that some of us would certainly like to know 

better, there is nothing here that does not absolutely need to 

be here, there’s plenty of reminiscing of eating dinner at 

Grandma’s, these philosophical finalities gently entered my 

ear, they are all-observant yet never need to have all the 

answers, they’re acting like they’re Jimi Hendrix playing the 

Star Spangled Banner, things became very liberating: there 

were no rules anymore, things do not need a creator — they 

arise from one another, this Male Lesbian is going to make 

some changes around here, this PCP sure is fly baby zip zop 

zoop abba zim ba, this poet stuff is a sorry excuse for being a 

rock star, this roll of paper towels is made from recycled newspapers, 

thunderous applause even though hardly anybody was 

there, ‘tis a proof that he had rather have a turnip than his 

father, to challenge the establishment in a safe yet futile manner, 

told by some redneck who thunders pent up monumental 

blunders, tranny chasers getting blow jobs in the toilets from 

the extras, translucent to the fibre bundles of quarks hidden 

in their core, two white plastic bags filled with soil slump in 

hot sun temperature, use blowdryer to speed up defrosting 

time on TV dinners, very strange very wonderful improbable 

phenomena, Wagner societies made public appeals to 

[XVI] 226

“German honour”, waste deep in human waste with a 300 lb. 

same sex partner, water no matter how it came or who 

brought it it was water, we all know Obla-Di-Bla-Da but can you 

show me where you are, we are all survivors of patriarchy that 

fact is gender, we are lucky because we live in a really great 

shoe era, we couldn’t believe our eyes when we ran into 

Heather Locklear, we don’t know whether there are things to 

which our ideas refer, we’re gonna conquer the world and 

we’re here for your sons and daughters, we’ve removed the 

peaks and valleys and can get on with our proper, well I 

noticed that it was getting a little dirty in here, well the first 

days are the hardest days don’t you worry anymore, well uhhuh 

and oh-ho and uh-huh I want you meningita, well usually 

I hallucinate watery moving floors, What do you call three 

people in wheelchairs on top of each other?, What human 

beings will go through to look a little bit better!, What is the 

matter with nature? What is the nature of matter?, What two of 

the most famous film stars are married to each other?, What’s 

red sits in front of the mirror and gets smaller and smaller?, 

Whatever happened to protesting nothing in particular?, 

When are you going to get your pathetic little life in gear?, 

when it seems like I can’t take anymore I breathe underwater, 

when she first started college she had everything going for 

her, when the mind of its own in the wheel puts two and two 

together, when you don’t eat all day all you think about is food 

and hunger, when you walk into a room people say “Hey it’s 

Shelley Winters!”, where the transcription of thought on the 

page is a clean mirror, while wiping his ass he told me he got 

some shit on his finger, who found a safe haven for all the 

pool rats in the area, Why did I feel nervous talking to the 

Tower Records cashier?, Why do women have to fart when 

you’re having a 69 er ?, wife of Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus 

Cornelia, with a feeling for melody and a flair for melodrama, 

227 

[XVI]

worm and storm chaise chaos and chair Senator spectator 

mayor, writing about music is like dancing about architecture, 

Yeh that’s what I thought it used to mean. It don’t mean that 

any more, Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said 

“What for?”, You are not what you thought you were. You are 

no longer who you were, You don’t know where that finger’s 

been! Get that finger out of your ear!, You give a Mexican a 

stick and tell him it’s a piñata!, you know it really hurts when 

you got the hershey squirts Lucia, you want the tiger’s nature 

without the nature of the tiger, You want this reviewed? Sure 

just put it in the accumulator, you’d better beware the next 

time you bite into that hamburger, you’ve swallowed a pill a 

sugar cube a piece of blotting paper; 

[XVI] 228

XVII 

A group of black children on T.V. singing God Bless America, a 

justification of my seemingly haphazard procedure, a soundbased 

linguistic document of a person’s life for __ years, Add 

these to your collection and be a part of the nostalgia!, ahhh I 

hate your fuckin’ guts and I hope that you die Sticky Fingers, 

*all spelling and punctuation are as they appeared in the letters, 

allas the pitee that was ther cracchynge of chekes rentynge 

eek of heer, and anyway visible nipples are not quite on for 

a mother, and couldn’t wait to dash back into the fine gardens 

far from “nature”, and it’s as if she’s constantly being sprinkled 

with tarantulas, And then on the way home you have to carry 

an empty Tupperware?, and what comes up that tube is the 

undigested food from their dinner, And what constitutes 

understanding or failure to understand here?, any spilled juice 

will be forever embedded in your creased Dockers, anything 

not fitting into these categories causes cancer, anyway I suspect 

Stockhausen’s been off the deep end for some years, Are you 

drinking rocket fuel or wearing an electric shock collar?, array 

thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser, as it 

turned out the world wasn’t ready for the Sex Pistols either, as 

the talk goes on we are getting nowhere and that is a pleasure, 

At an orgy does anyone really want to be a wallflower?, At last! 

This is the answer! Forgot the question? It doesn’t matter!!, (at 

the time of writing) I never think of what I have said before, 

Atomic energy tested in Japan. Made in America, Audiences 

would be worrying and asking “What are we in for?”, because a 

229

credit rate like yours deserves an interest rate like ours, 

because every word you are without is a thought or idea or, 

because you live in the suburbs where the American Dream 

endures, Black Oak Arkansas — amazingly they came from 

Black Oak Arkansas, blacktress/glamazon Vaginal Creme 

Davis to the screeching scissor, blazing into galaxies transfigured 

with ineffable auras, books are daily losing their status of 

the carriers of culture, brother lover mother other smother 

another undercover, broun fellinis alphabet soup daddy godus 

and human flavor, but he remains humble and sees himself 

merely as a “forerunner”, but you must get away from competing 

with yourself and with others, constantly putting their fingers 

to the winds of popular culture, contempt for a nearly 

universal symbol of childhood terror, count the cracks in the 

bedroom plaster until the sex act is over, creates echoes wherein 

subject and object bounce off of each other, declination of 

Cancer is the exaltation of Jupiter, Did he die and go to heck 

or is he up there with Pat and Checkers?, Did you know that 4 

out of 10 accidents are caused by drunk drivers?, Do recording 

artists get embarrassed by their old record covers?, Do you 

expect by the end of this program you will have an answer?, 

Do you regard me as a rival or as a collaborator?, Do you want 

to look better feel better run faster and jump higher?, Does 

door slamming or dog barking cause your mind to go into 

high gear?, don’t ask why Levi’s 501 jeans have stayed in style 

for 50 years, don’t fuck with this shit if you’ve had any sort of 

liver disorders, Dr. Johnson a few days before his death burning 

heaps of papers, Drab Local Fish Part of Problem as 

Camden’s Aquarium Flounders, Eat your dinner! Don’t you 

know there are people starving in India?, eating disorders not 

an equal opportunity destroyer, Egyptians knew exactly when 

it was time for the percolator, ever since I have fled the world I 

have known neither hatred nor fear, every day and in every 

[XVII] 230

way I am getting better and better, every day around 10 A.M. 

throws up on the down escalator, every little movement 

assumes the dimensions of a maneuver, everybody thinks that 

you’re doing much better than you really are, exclusionary 

couples who also claim to be your best friends — Grrrrr!!, 

50% off the person you call most anytime anywhere, for 

Dionne Warwick to record the song “That’s what psychic 

friends are for”, for gnats never lack the air grubs the earth 

nor polliwogs the water, for he believed that therein lay the 

very essence of adventures, Forrest Gump is a retarded motherfucker 

and he’s on welfare, frankly there is a lot more interesting 

things happening out there, fried in an electric chair 

before a throng of cheering spectators, fudge over in the service 

of ideological agenda, Furtwängler Böhm Strauss Krauss 

Karajan — fervent supporters of Hitler, Gate Gate Paragate 

Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha!, give book and CD to Al for his student 

in California, give one big cheer and one cheer more for 

the captain of the Pinafore, give to the nearest inch the length 

in inches of a water meter, God help the thief unfortunate 

enough to meet me and the muddler, Good morning neighbor! 

You stay in your corner I’ll stay in my corner, granted 

boredom alienation and wanting what you can’t have are, 

Hanging the lantern/On that full white blooming 

bough/Exquisite your care!, he has also written music for MCI 

and Christian Dior, he is now remembered (if at all) as at best 

a one-book wonder, he seems to be in an eddy spinning round 

and round getting nowhere, he started out in search of money 

but in death he has found much more, Hey kitty! You’re like 

the queen of the ball the hot chick on the dance floor, How 

do people get access to avant-garde music in this culture?, 

How many living ex-Presidents of the United States are there?, 

How much is this moment worth? $100? $1000?, Hunter- 

Animal Assassin: Meat Mercenary Bambi Butcher, I am 

231 

[XVII]

exhausted and I can’t keep my eyes open any longer, I am free 

to pursue the realm of the professional amateur, I am not 

bound to any one system way path country idea, I am not getting 

answers because I do not really need answers, I close my 

eyes. Your fingers play and make my stomach muscles quiver, I 

don’t know about you but I’d rather be a name than a number, 

I figured you had a sense of humor — after all you married 

her, I get distracted just walking downstairs to get a glass 

of water, I got something to say I raped your mother today — 

Metallica, I had a dream I was falling through a hole in the 

ozone layer, I hate getting blown by a girl and then she tries to 

kiss you after, I hate it when people try to impose their opinions 

on others, I hate when thin girls complain about their big 

hips thighs etc., I hate when you think you have to fart but 

instead you shit your drawers, I know that certain vitamins can 

make your doo-doo crazy colors, I like the ambiguous ones 

which dawn on the target days later, I look exactly the same 

but everyone else looks so much older, I may be startled but I 

won’t give my body up to be powder, I never saw you put jelly 

on a tuna fish sandwich before, I promise I’ll bring you just a 

little bit of the plague in a jar, I ran and ran and ran and ran 

until I couldn’t run anymore, I really hate it when people 

cheat in the Express Lane at the store, “I see!” said the blind 

carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw, I spend half 

the year here and half the year there. My wife stays there all 

year, I want to bring in infinite regress and infinite progress 

here, I was a pretty serious pot-head in the early high-school 

years, I went down to the sacred store where I’d heard the 

music years before, I wish some people would stop confusing 

us with California, I wish we could chat longer but I’m having 

an old friend for dinner, I woke up on the roadside daydreaming 

‘bout the way things sometimes are, I would create a book 

out of wood and carve words into the “cover”, I would try to 

[XVII] 232

get her to try something she had never tried before, I’d like to 

order a large ibbit-obbt-ibbit-urger with no Sa, I’m feelin’ 

kinda feelin’ kinda feelin’ kinda feelin’ kinda, I’m just a sweet 

transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania, I’ve been doing 

this forever and I’ll keep doing this forever, if anyone on MP 

says “bitch” there’ll be THQot shooter, if brains were farts he 

couldn’t stink up the inside of a matchbox car, if this came out 

in the ‘80s it would have made a million dollars, if we can’t 

compare breasts to apples should we compare them to 

nuclear, if you compare yourself with others you may become 

vain and bitter, if you had three million dollars you would 

want seven million dollars, if you’ve been putting off refinancing 

your home call The Money Store, impossible to communicate 

anything but particulars, In Europe they name streets 

after poets why not in America?, in out in out in out halfway in 

they look like an “S” together, in the future my time may be 

measured not in “seasons” but in years, in the great American 

tradition of getting what you pay for, inevitably prominent for 

the contemporary reader, injected with enough silicon to float 

a luxury liner, Is it possible for me to have any privacy around 

here?, Is it wrong … tell me is it wrong … to close your eyes … 

to sleep forever?, it is a reality — and I see it more as I get 

older, it is the quintessential butter from the churning milk of 

dharma, it was a depressing way to leave and I felt sorry for the 

deer, it’s a possible soundtrack to a more sane reasonable 

future, it’s beyond the car manufac who sees cope as a drugfrayed 

nutter, it’s really short because I’m getting ready to 

shave it this summer, it’s stretching the point to say that magazines 

cause eating disorders, jam miniature marshmallows up 

your nose and sneeze them all over, jo ghar ko nahin chala 

sakta woh Dilli kya chalayega, Joe America hated those troublesome 

Nazis Nips and Niggers, just 6 refreshing calories per 

glass it tastes so good all over, just those icy you’re on the 

233 

[XVII]

wrong side of the tracks motherfucker stares, Ken do you 

think my nose is growing? I think it keeps getting longer, let 

me repeat this so it will be easy for you to remember:, Let’s 

just read the poem! I want to say it too but it gets me nowhere, 

like that time you helped me unzip my pants in the photo 

booth on your, likewise I find myself at this phase “listening” 

less and reading more, lo-fi chicken scratch that chugs along 

and would go well with a hooker, look at the simple pleasures 

enjoyed by working class America, look for our President’s Day 

sales insert in most of today’s papers, mankind’s betrayal of 

was totally fucked up suddenly I saw, many many police officers 

have seen my genitalia, Maximilien François Marie 

Isidore de Robespierre, Mistress Formika: you fags aren’t 

moshing hard enough — mosh harder!, more shit to learn 

more shit to earn more shit to yearn more shit to burn more, 

most people would give anything to make one classic in their 

career, motors pigs ponies dark water nationalism smoke 

music beer, Mr. Crow doesn’t fuck fatties hear me now (and 

believe me later), music doesn’t have to be caviar it can also 

be pasta, music of elevators and dentist offices in the future, 

my head and gargle just gargle and gargle and I don’t care 

who hears, my mother has never put vodka in a milkshake or 

wrecked her car, My two plum trees are/So gracious see they 

flower/One now one later, neither gives a hoot about that system 

of academic power, never put off till tomorrow what you 

can avoid all together, New York 10385277 Pennsylvania, nicotine 

heroin cocaine alcohol caffeine marijuana, no one had 

any notion what ancient Teutons actually wore, no writer now 

working elicits greater pleasure in his readers, Nundanket all 

Gott lifts up my heart as it is sung in the blue air, Oblivious to 

spiders in hair. Get the spiders out of my hair!, of course the 

“full of beans” defense can work against moaners and groaners, 

Oh and Stephen King is absolutely the best too! And 

[XVII] 234

Derrida!, oh my God it’s senior year and all you care about is 

your career, oh yeah and Satan does not like me for he does 

not answer my prayers, on a lazy summer day with no summer 

school no job and no chores, On Saturday night I lost my wife 

and where do you think I found her?, one of us might lose his 

hair but you’re reminded that it once was there, one part sunset 

one part Seagram’s gin yes you’ll find the hidden pleasure, 

one’s slimey and has whiskers and the other one lives in the 

water, only that the music doesn’t topple when the theory’s 

knocked over, Or how am I to describe the important empirical 

fact here?, or is it that L + M = (aside from a nostalgia, or 

stop by and touch his overgrown big hangnail for healing 

power, perhaps it’s all a test to keep steering ever toward 

nibana, perhaps the outstanding question in American social 

culture, picking up a cool dog shit with a plastic bag from the 

backyard floor, plodding linear thinkers democracy: one vote 

every four years, pour Agent Orange into local reservoir to 

enhance flavor, Public Enemy #1: that neutering bastard Bob 

Barker, queen-sized Sealy posturpedic from $349, Quiz: We all 

know how Jesus got whacked but how did his disciples fare?, 

Ramakrishna: Where does the strength of an aspirant lie? In 

his tears, rather a mania engendered by a melancholic humor, 

rather then calling you on the phone and risking losing my 

temper, remember that soda pop will freeze if you leave it in 

the freezer, respect for yourself will not come about through 

the disdain of others, retains shape and does not melt even 

when out of refrigerator, Rocket Reducer No. 62 (Rama Lama 

Fa Fa Fa), screenless window remains open making me itch 

and scratch all over, She lives thousands of miles away. Yet for 

weeks I’ve had a crush on her, she said it was wrong to call the 

language of her work “vernacular”, she stripped away her rancid 

poncho an’ laid out naked by the door, she told me that 

he can’t sleep at night — the greatest of our composers, She’s 

235 

[XVII]

not wearing any pants. Her lower openings now total four, shit 

like camcorders Snapple cigarette lighters and calculators, 

sniper victim snapping pictures with Ricoh and eating Gummy 

Bears, so the streets of the world will flow red with the blood 

of non-believers, some people would do almost anything to 

bring home Chi-Chi’s salsa, sometimes I lie awake at night and 

ask “Why me?” Then a voice answers, (sung in German no less 

— even Jim Morrison wouldn’t go that far), Sunshine is always 

in fashion. When are we going to get some more?, Take a look 

at what you are. It is revolting. You’re really nowhere, taking 

notes while overhearing conversations in a crowded bar, that is 

what I told a magazine when they put me on the cover, that’s 

why you got 2 last names and 3 Social Security numbers, the 

empty spaces allow for the non-obstruction of the centers, the 

gay community is as powerless as I’ve seen it in years, the pandemonium 

of the world burst upon my unwilling ears, the person 

with style neither needs nor seeks the approval of others, 

the positive ends will attract the negative ends and vice-versa, 

the room was dark the blinds drawn and I was alone with the 

computer, the shock of seeing a minority in the ivory tower, 

the Tickling Babysitter controlling the playground: respect 

through fear, the use of translation as the invention of a 

desired other, the vector has never been of the slightest use to 

any creature, the whole purpose of your life is to serve as a 

warning to others, then again somebody might imitate the 

original gesture, There are a few undercover cops on this 

train. Nice disguises huh?, There are more days in the week 

than Friday. Most animals know better, there are millions of little 

bits of me walking around everywhere, they will have to go 

back to their countries because they were not born here, this 

has to be in the dark for a few days so it’s going down here, 

this is an entertaining reminder to get my shit together, this 

society keeps you from realizing your own needs and desires, 

[XVII] 236

those who scaled the cliffs of Normandy under heavy enemy 

fire, thus shall it be done to the man who the king delighteth 

to honor, tonight’s Top Ten List from the home office in 

Sioux City Iowa, Too many women tiny anti-aisles. One open 

cash register, tradition flouted at one moment reinvented at 

another, try now we can only lose and our love becomes a 

funeral pyre, try to use normal printed paper on the overhead 

projector, type of bastard (or see likeness to President’s genitalia), 

undoubtedly Thoreau was disappointed by commercial 

failures, unfortunately sometimes we start to drown in this 

flood of data, until they’re all sharp corners and then gently 

thrust into thy nether, wanting to be licked: a perfectly perforated 

piece of blotter, Watch for more heroic excitement coming 

to Macy’s this summer!, we have to tie a steak around her 

neck so the dog will play with her, we want and deserve tin-can 

architecture in a tin-horn culture, well alchemy is just a little 

better form of Cinderella, What do you call a guy with no arms 

and legs inside your computer? What do you call it when the 

media talks about the media?, What do you regard as the lowest 

depth of misery? A mirror, What is the number one number 

in Casey Kasem’s Top Ten Numbers?, What method does 

Kurt Cobain use to collect his thoughts? A spatula, What 

nationality of women do you think make the best lovers?, what 

to do when they ask for your Social Security Number:, what 

you see is what you get or better what you get is what you hear, 

What’s a man like me supposed to do with all this extra savoirfaire?, 

“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” you ask a 

glass of water, when you find an unflushed toilet leave it alone 

and use another, when you’re with someone you care for nothing 

says closeness like a whisper, whether you’re black or white 

or Hispanic or Chinese it don’t matter, Which means when we 

are writing it’s not always us who is writing eh?, Who cares 

what we SAW you should be doing your own thing and that’s 

237 

[XVII]

the LAW!, Why should I waste more precious time in relating 

such trifling pleasures?, Will someone in their right mind 

please martyr themselves and kill this fucker?, Will you Mr. 

Tab allow my take on this and combine my flavors?, Would it 

be right to judge Christ by his crucifiers and detractors?, 

Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and 

sofa?, wrap her up in tissue paper and send her down the elevator, 

write down the name and address of your hotel in case 

of amnesia, you are an adult and people around you have 

their own agendas, you are houseless but not homeless 

because home is wherever you are, you can call me anything 

you like but don’t call me late for dinner, you can’t find love 

in a truckload of turnips unless it’s to the stars, you know a lot 

of girls go out with me just to further their careers, you should 

leave your bedroom window wide open at night in the winter, 

“You’ll surely run up against existence and non-existence 

somewhere!”, yuppie bullshit for women who wore beige 

stockings or relaxed their hair; 

[XVII] 238

XVIII 

A century ago our visual environment was much simpler, a 

symbol of the spiritual mind active in numberless ideas, a 

synod of Anglican friars were discussing their carnal desires, a 

woman needs a flat tummy a firm bosom and a nice derrière, 

accepting all thoughts whether profound insignificant or peculiar, 

After alpha-hydroxy acids what? Chanel research has the 

answer, after four days I suddenly realized that there was some 

potential here, Ahhh! The ghost of Elvis is eating all the cake 

— oh it’s just Liz Taylor, all the things you could be by now if 

Henry Miller’s wife was your mother, alpha And and continues 

past beta and gamma And to end at alpha, an angry telephone 

call signals the end of the world for cult members, And get this 

she’s blond now hair the same color as yours doesn’t that figure?, 

and if I attacked a lifeless pillar with my language it 

would totter, and so he swallowed the pus while continuing to 

suck on my finger, Anyone know the punch line for which the 

joke is “What’s an Ali McGraw?”, Are we ready for the truth? 

Don’t you think we should first lie to each other?, Are you sick 

and tired of your dirty stinky ugly useless old slippers?, arrange 

words according to sound — arrange objects according to 

color, as a member of the world conspiracy you control your 

own future, as culler and counter of syllables as arranger and 

recorder, as the speed of television goes up the movies start 

going faster, as to pleasure it is true in fact that tidying up is a 

pleasure, beauty arises and passes away like all other phenomena, 

bitter men are generally academics who failed to get 

239

tenure, but damp park benches I visit no more they always 

make my rear end sore, but February made me shiver with 

every paper I’d deliver, but unfortunately the whole insight of 

the sixties has been lost here, capital and labor need not be 

antagonistic to each other, Carlos Casteneda is the 2 nd baseman 

for the L.A. Dodgers, change your social security number 

and disappear from Big Brother, Check. Extra wire? Check. 

Blurb? Check. Pole? Check. Hannah? She’s a bitch with balls 

doncha, Cindy Crawford plays the pinup in swimwear with just 

the right exposure, closer to Christ and Buddha especially 

Buddha and further therefore, considering how much I have 

tried to change my relationship to fear, defeat money power in 

media power defeat through mass power, “Don’t be a prima 

donna!” I said. She replied “I’m not a dinosaur!”, don’t just 

stand around talking to spandex-clad women on the 

Stairmasters, don’t eat any muffin that is more than 6 inches 

in diameter, don’t tell your men to lay still like that — they 

should move around a little more, Don’t the words “dreadful” 

and “social gathering” go so nicely together?, Dr. Pepper: 

sweet center sort of serves as a secondary thruster, driving is 

then going alphabetically by national order, Drop your hair 

down! Get drunk! Get mad! Be sad! Do something! Loosen 

up! Who cares?, each thing as Gertrude Stein puts it is as 

important as every other, early morning walks to Battery Park 

City — predawn paranoia, eight students were arrested and a 

police officer broke a finger, equal portions of flaming kitchen 

delicately offset by sneaker, every man should know that words 

fail that garlic prevails and that shoes matter, everybody would 

show a housebreaker where the family jewels are, extremist 

Shiite revolutionary philosophy-worshippers, “Far dearer to 

me than my treasure” the heiress declared “is my leisure”, feel 

free to copy this upload it put it anywhere and everywhere, fifteen 

minutes of moving and gyrating and bouncing off each 

[XVIII] 240

other, fill your pockets with sugar packets as well as salt and 

pepper shakers, Fish do not weary of water. The joys of solitude 

are similar, 5 p.m. rolls around today as it always does — 

same year after year, for better or worse the digit replaced the 

linseed oil and now we’re here, for presenting a too-effeminate 

Jesus the silken wavy hair, Get all hot and breathy as the 

Japanese nearly attack Pearl Harbor!, (giggling) all those mulatto 

babies and their eyes are too close together, grifters portastatic 

unwound nothing painted blue refrigerator, Grover 

from Sesame Street tells me to go near then far “near far near 

far”, had this been an actual emergency we would have fled in 

terror, half of any scandal — no 75% — is the media’s, has 

allowed the hobby of collecting odd words to sidetrack his 

career, he uses it to fill the salt shaker {Would that make it a 

snow shaker?}, her pubes strangely smooth in contrast to the 

splendid abundance of her hair, Hey you. Yeah. YOU! Pacifist 

type. Are you thinking “Hey this isn’t MY war?”, hills juggling 

lactoidal lung mounds natures fonts orbs and pillows sandbag 

spheres, horizontal interactions among a plurality of centers, 

How and why is lyric more prominent in some periods than in 

ours?, How can I be happy in the morning when I have to 

sleep on the floor?, How many sex-restricted jobs require a 

penis or a vagina?, hyper-aroused individuals are driven 

thinkers and worriers, I always take the path-of-most-resistance 

when it comes to my in-laws, I am he as you are he as you are 

me and we are all together, I am in pursuit of spirit and she is 

in pursuit of her career, I am naked and passing through the 

phone lines. I am in your computer, I am the one all men are 

the Other but none of them are my other, I believe a leaf of 

grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars, I cannot 

think in a rational manner. My mind has lost its order, I don’t 

know whether I’d rather be having a bottle of vinegar, I found 

a long blonde hair in the sprinkler kinda the color of your 

241 

[XVIII]

hair, I got tired of hanging around people who wouldn’t pee 

in the shower, I have trained the dog to lick my feet while I 

watch TV and whenever, I like living in a corrupt country — I 

feel like a fish in water, I live on the freaking computer and 

spend all my time with teddy bears, (“I met Andy Warhol at a 

really chic party”) blow it out your hair, I never put on a pair 

of shoes until I’ve worn them at least five years, I said I’m 

charming and dashing I’m rental car bashing phony paper, I 

saw the worst bands of my generation/applied by magic marker, 

I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to 

sleep with the thunder, I think I have some valid thoughts that 

may be of interest to others, I think we’ve got a little damn 

female lunar inadequacy here, I will continue to collect words 

until I can’t stand it anymore, I wonder if it would be cool if I 

had it shortened up to like here, I write in order to hear. 

Never do I hear and then write what I hear, I’d like to butter 

your muffin I’m not bluffin’ serve you on a platter, I’d love to 

go out with you but I have to stay home and see if I snore, I’ll 

bring Jews and fags to my parent’s house. We’ll all go to hell 

together, I’m desperately trying to erase notions of past/present/future, 

I’m gonna go one-four-two-three-three-four-one 

I’m not goin’ on no bars, I’m not looking to exterminate anybody 

in particular, if only I had an electric drill it would have 

been so much simpler, if the doors of perception were 

cleansed man could see things as they truly are, If you were a 

musical instrument what would it be? The conductor, if you 

were shipwrecked on a desert island with Geraldo Rivera, if 

[sic] is always a pleasure to hear from a satisfied customer, if 

you wore one you would have to have a frilly apron and a 

Hoover, including Francis Ford Coppola and jetsetting daughter 

Sofia, interest in skimming: the type of reading we do with 

the newspaper, Is it necessary to be loud and eccentric to be 

called a star?, Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed 

[XVIII] 242

with rotten potatas?, it was along the lines of having tattooed 

on my arm “Art Forever”, it’s changing the private lives of men 

and women across America, it’s from AT&T … they’re making 

you an honorary stockholder, It’s purely a guess but could it 

happen within the next 1-5 years?, James Brown 1974 = Sai 

Baba 1994, Jesus freaks mow down gays in Greenwich Village 

with a nine-millimeter, Jhana told us that her man must have a 

big bank account and a new car, Jovian gravity shatters a 

comet making it all the brighter, kill roaches with a monkey 

wrench while playing Wagnerian arias, Knots bills and you can 

stuff ‘em. How about a duck Congress and a debtor?, legalise 

the Mafia never but never invade Australia, let’s pursue that: 

we could help each other with new hair styles etc., like keep 

peeking in your briefcase and saying “You got enough air in 

there?”, most of us at least once in our lives suffer an attack of 

glamnesia, most people over 35 are technologically immature, 

Mother Theresa:Nipsey Russell — Nipsey Russell:Mother 

Theresa, my delicate obsession manifests itself in my calm 

demeanor, my own manseed diluted in a mixture of corn 

syrup and water, “Never decide on anything and then we 

change our minds” says another, never never rather be Ida 

never never rather be Ida, no hands fixes tie looks around and 

usually pisses on the floor, No no. I don’t bake cookies. You’re 

thinking of those dorks over at Keebler, no salt MSG preservatives 

artificial color or flavor, no TV no car and I don’t even 

have a stereo anymore, Now what do you do? Buy a Queer 

Nation T-shirt and slam even harder?, oh what a world with 

super mice and atom rabbits yet I dream of more, on 

December 21 1994 he said “See you next year!”, one lame little 

bunny that brings shitty candy (nothing cool like Santa), 

one of the hallmarks of a culture is the capacity to conquer, 

pardon me miss but I can’t help noticing that you have cum in 

your hair, PCP. Fucking PCP. Who the fuck does PCP any- 

243 

[XVIII]

more?, people aren’t depressed in this country solely because 

of their color, playing baseball with apples peeing in ice-cube 

trays and growing up poor, poetry can do just about anything 

except perhaps disappear, pull out their unrevealed penises 

and urinate on the transformed pair, right wing favored 

monarchical government with rigid social structure, Sally Jesse 

Raphael’s wardrobe was provided by Christian Dior, sauerkraut-sniffing 

mustard-licking bratwurst-roasting Nazi-loving 

whore, saw my baby down by the river will she have to come 

up soon for air, say no to the draft or work or religion or 

authority figures, she was buying clothes and I was putting 

slinkies on the escalator, she went to Kentucky Fried Chicken 

and licked everyone else’s fingers, Sherlock Holmes Nicks 5 

and 8 From Watson and Spends it on Coke and Hookers, since 

time immemorial mankind has known of the importance of 

texture, slam at those who sanctimoniously wear those red ribbons 

all over, some of us are predicting eventual generational 

warfare, sounding almost like a warped mix of Jean 

Baudrillard and Yogi Berra, spending gobs of money to make 

sure he’s got a big say in the future, Surely one’s sensitivity 

being blocked serves well to open others?, tell me about your 

sexual escapades with a riding lawnmower, (that of the halfwitted 

man who was hankering for a cauliflower), that’s actually 

how I see myself as a linguistic inventor, The Buddha is master 

of ethics. Ethics do not master the Buddha, the cheerleaders 

would spit beer and yell “Fuck you!” at the crowd massed 

together, The difference between public and private. 

Linguistically what is there?, the eggs of a prehistoric animal 

were found in Mongolia, the ego of Madonna seems a little 

stale in 1994, the end result of complete cellular representation 

is cancer, the faces were empty the eyes as bleak as the 

tomorrow they foresaw, the feeling that somehow somewhere 

you’ve been kicked in the head like this before, the form 

[XVIII] 244

ecame generic and what mattered were the words on the 

cover, the genius has in our days shaken off the shackles which 

had encumbered, the intelligence of any discussion diminishes 

with the square, the kind that comes out of your butt so fast 

your butt cheeks get splashed with water, the morning hard on 

— you wake up and Joey’s admiring the chandelier, The name 

of what Biblical character has been given to cab drivers?, the 

only thing I can eat approaching solid is yogurt thru a straw, 

the parts can be read in any order — everything is out of 

order, the planet Transsexual in the galaxy of Transylvania, the 

politics of desire male chauvinist engineer right on sister!, the 

small hairless animals with over eighteen legs in my underwear, 

The sound of one hand clapping is the sound of hitting 

molecules of air?, the world remains the same as ever when we 

remove it from our shoulders, there are 2 archetypes of you 

fucks out there: the “loner” and the “loser”, there is a temporary 

return to a more conventional structure, there will be a 

Taffy pull at St. Peters tomorrow not a Peter, there’s a railroad 

there and trains go by and there’s people locked in cattle cars, 

they smile in your face all the time they wanna take your place 

the backstabbers, 30 is a terrible age but take it from someone 

that has been there, this generation has full access and comprehension 

of computers, those brothers smoke more weed 

than Cheech & Chong and Cypress Hill put together, those 

scary fucks on the train who frighten the homeless people who 

live there, thoughts are no more than very gentle vibrations 

moving in the ether, thus in fear and trembling the superior 

man sets his life in order, today my skirt is very short and I’m 

sure not to show any beaver, too much permissiveness on one 

end too much reluctance on another, Transit bus stopped by 

potato stuffed in exhaust pipe — Potato Power!, try and recognize 

celebrities through sniffing their bodily odors, trying to 

mask the private with the public in a linguistic manner, unlike 

245 

[XVIII]

a lot of you I’ve never really been ashamed by my mother, velvet 

over liquified pros babyfood-bland safety-check my buffer, 

very few people in China believe in Communism anymore, 

watch out for 10’s ranting stew of fuck-you’s on this laryngeal 

chamber, we’ll supply the greasepaint if you bring some wornout 

clothes we can set on fire, well I’ve already got AT&T as 

my long distance carrier, What could be a more ordinary part 

of everyday than the weather?, What do you call a deer with no 

eyes and no legs chewing on a razor?, What if Hitler was alive 

today? What if Germany had won the war?, What three Jews 

were thrown into a fiery furnace by Nebuchadnezzar?, what 

with a bout of malaria three broken legs and then these 

rumors, What’s the point of having a telephone if you can’t 

order a pizza?, What’s your take on the emerging generation 

of Avant-Pop writers?, when I die I will leave all my school 

pens to the children of India, when I was your age we didn’t 

have none of them fancy-ass computers, when it’s time to get 

dressed you’ll notice that the sensual pleasure lingers, when 

you find condoms in the shower’s soapdish you know you’ve 

arrived sugar, when you live in Manhattan you need to build 

your own private Westchester, Which is the odd one out: a 

baked bean a soya bean or a vibrator?, while also being 

encouraged to simply let the words lie where they are, Who 

ever heard of a cold cereal that makes you feel warm all over?, 

who once during a flood lifted up a mountain with his little 

finger, who were sick of listening to the pap strains of Loggins 

& Messina, whose artfully ribbed abdomen has been compared 

to a six pack of beer, with no doubt a fearsome gen-uine 

imitation Jackie Chan Haayyeeaahh, women don’t need to 

go to the bathroom when they get up but will shower, yeah 

music is always on my mind whenever I’m driving in a car, yes 

and that’s why I haven’t thrown away a piece of cardboard in 

nine years, yet they strut around half-naked pouring honey all 

[XVIII] 246

over each other, you can see for yourself what you have 

become by serving under others, you can’t have a self-created 

fetish or a self-created desire, you have a natural grace and 

great consideration for others, you imagine your hands 

around the throat of that Coke-drinking polar bear, You like 

the credit cards and private planes. Money can really take you 

far, you realize that the phone number on the bathroom wall 

of the bar is yours, young bitter people think bitterness begins 

in their refrigerator, your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs 

defending their homes and culture; 

247 

[XVIII]

XIX 

A car is the ultimate extension of the Great American Frontier, 

a gleekzorp without a ternpee is like a quop without a fertsneet 

(sorta), a noise annoys an oyster but a noisier noise annoys an 

oyster more, a stunning picture of a black woman’s coming of 

age in America, accumulating enough information so that all 

judgments are ignored, acetylene Nirvana talking ‘bout your 

hemorrhoids baby steam roller, after twenty-six years he proved 

to his teachers that he could master desire, Ah! Who gives a 

fuck about all of these so-called American “prose” writers?, all 

animals are created equal but some are more equal than others, 

all because of our sexed brains no process of enculturation 

at work here, all of these elements have resonances in popular 

literature, altered versions of the paper pouches to microwave 

popcorn producers, American attitudes and American ideals 

extend its power, an amorous Jew on Yom Kippur saw a shiksel 

decided to clip her, and a big suck deez to the beef-eating 

white supremacists at hamburgers, and he goes up to the horse 

in a friendly manner and he sitcks into her, and it’s insane — 

another spring has arrived early — dreary thoughts of summer, 

and speaking of quacks reminds me of cracks and stacks and 

sacks and shacks and schnackers, and that way the two work 

together and manage not to stomp on each other, and these 

days what I see as hip is a lot softer warmer and cozier, anyone 

could have taken a dump in the bath and it wouldn’t have mattered, 

approximately 2500 kittens and puppies are born each 

hour, as bar soaps go this is a good one — not too much aroma 

248

a good lather, as if the world of the poem like the world as a 

whole were nothing but nature, as the water-bird shakes off 

the water from its wings with a little flutter, Avoid comments 

about the taste of sweat. Most body parts taste pretty bitter, az 

me shveigt iz men a halber nar — az me redt iz men a ganster 

nar, bash & pop friday night is killing megoo goo dolls superstar 

car washer, Beauclerk Beau Boswell Bozzy Langton Lanky 

Sheridan Sherry Murphy Mur, Benzo Wani Yea Benzo Bero 

Tsani Yea Hum Hum Phat Phat Phat Svaha!, better remove a 

rotten apple from the store than let it rot the others, blackvaginafinda 

I’m the motherfucker fucking sombodiez daughter, 

Bob Dole. Will someone in their right mind please martyr 

themselves and kill this fucker?, born of a mortal woman and 

an Incubus he was the great enchanter, busyness to cover up 

emptiness stemming from fear and paranoia, but even false 

flattery is flattering in its own peculiar manner, But if we 

should lend it to you how would you spend 500 million dollars?, 

but it just goes to show that generalizations are of little 

use here, But were it Ferdinand or Fernand I fergit? It’s 

Ferdinand de Saussure, but why Surrealist books and not vegetarian 

sandwiches or hipster, butcher who back into meat 

grinder get a little behind in his orders, by rhythmic reversion 

sextillion worlds passed into diaphanous lustre, Call your 

apartment from a payphone and ask for yourself. Do this every 

hour, cannot piss if someone is watching flushes urinal and 

comes back later, Catch a Cold Mouth Rape Minors MTV 

Sucks Ass Skull Fuck the Virgin Mother, Cheryl said “You don’t 

have to be a star to pull up a chair during dinner”, Cling Free 

is what? It’s a dryer sheet. Where do dryer sheets go? In the 

dryer, Cosmia Wagner: more anti-Semitic than anyone short of 

Hitler, cougars and other wild cats become excited by children 

who play outdoors, courteous postal workers are kind courteous 

and patient with customers, date her for 12 years put her 

249 

[XIX]

in all your movies then start dating her daughter, delicately lift 

filthy airline toilet seat gingerly with one finger, developing 

something of a crush on the “Headline News” afternoon 

anchor, discover your own unique “eating print”: Picker 

Prowler Finisher Hoarder, Do you let your child take teddy 

bears of the same sex to bed with him or her?, Do you want to 

equalize things a little with an evil business partner?, Does this 

mean when I come to New York we can’t go out and get 

smashed anymore?, don’t swallow the microphone if you grow 

up to be a subway announcer, due to the lack of space we cannot 

undertake such a task here however, Editors note: it is very 

unprofessional to sleep with co-workers, especially for men who add 

heft to their Haines with a roll in their trousers, even though 

the best orifice is in your ear I longed to vox the voder, every 

pound and compact square inch of man meat waltzing around 

one another, every woman at some time will experience concern 

about her figure, fantasies and uncontrollable urges: 

nothing I could write about here, for this reason I’ve decided 

Nixon deserves something more something deeper, 

Goldsmith piles words upon words until they lose one meaning 

and gain another, goulash composed of all the leftovers 

from the meals of all the leftovers, he found her text too conventional 

and took it upon himself to alter, he has marauded 

eardrums and blown minds with his pathetic poetic roar, he 

pumped and he pumped and he pumped and he pumped 

and all that came wuz dog water, he replied “Oh in about 5 

minutes after your mother goes to the store”, he thought 

Adolph Hitler’s followers said “Hi Hitler” rather than “Heil 

Hitler”, he will scrape your stuck animal parts from the blackened 

grill of human desire, helps put a layer of protection 

between you your life and your dilemmas, Hitler complained 

that he had been “sickened” by the appearance of “that Jew 

Schorr”, Hitler: “there was no greater man in German history 

[XIX] 250

than Richard Wagner”, holcross pullets starting to lay Betty 

Clayton granite 5-6204, How do you expect to rid yourself of 

all nasty habits by September?, How many red stunt cows are 

doing acrobatics in the pinball pasture?, however I began to 

question systems of hierarchy and power, I admire you 

because I’ve never had the courage it takes to be a liar, I don’t 

see it myself — but people tell me I look like the Ayatollah, I 

don’t know. Why don’t you do a different type of writing when 

you are there?, I feel bad for the Beach Boys. Suddenly one 

day they weren’t hip anymore, I hate those random erections 

you get. If it wasn’t for Boris Becker, I have one lifetime ahead 

of me and things are getting better and better, I kissed the 

raindrops off your nose and promised that I’d stay with you 

forever, “I know what you’re thinking” said the Lemon King as 

he drank his sparkling seltzer, I mean you wouldn’t want to go 

to a party with all tricks and no tramps huh?, I never asked 

what they meant — I only entered them into my computer, I 

plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called 

someone. They went “Aaaaahhhh…”, I remained completely 

quiet inwardly ejaculating fervent prayers, I think sex is the 

best form of expressing your love to someone you care for, I 

thought it was nice of them to give me my props like that … 

stop dissing Hammer, I told them kids to keep their arms 

inside the ride. Damnedest thing I ever saw”, I wanted to be a 

priest to kind of continue the family career, I’m going to 

devote ten minutes to letting the present happen hither, I’m 

through with masturbation and the triple X matinee double 

features, I’ve never rolled upside down on an expressway at 70 

miles per hour, if you have the spirit within you will never fail 

to attract others, if you press down on the hamburger and gray 

juices drip down the hamburger, If you write the word “monkey” 

a million times do you start to think you’re Shakespeare?, 

in a way it is more natural to sit on the floor instead of a chair, 

251 

[XIX]

in the world in which we live without hype and controversy 

things disappear, Is it because raver girlfriends are better looking 

than girlfriends of skaters?, Is my cock big enough is my 

brain small enough for you to make me a star?, Is poor Parsifal 

never to be let out of these Jewish torture chambers?, Is that 

another lie created to keep me complacent begging for 

more?, Is that Sean Penn? He’s the dude that had sexual intercourse 

with Madonna, it is beginning to be hinted that we are 

a nation of amateurs, it’s like when — this is really a stretch — 

you take a bath and you watch the water, it’s so difficult being 

a working mom and keeping it all together, it’s something of a 

no-brainer although a carefully chosen no-brainer, January 

1933 National Socialists come to power, just because they can’t 

pronounce it New Yorkers don’t write without the letter “r”, 

Killorcure and Killthemall and Killeachother and Killkelly-onthe-Fleure, 

Leave me alone. I must work and do not want to 

know about my blood pressure, let’s hear it for please myself 

and am pleased by what I look on in the mirror, like a peaceful 

flood he swept away the mental debris of his listeners, like 

trying to empty oneself of all previously acquired ideas, L-I-T- 

E. The new way to spell “light” with 20% fewer letters!, many a 

day have I dreamed of this load to be dropped with such ease 

and stature, Mary is crying about what? He’s been dead a hundred 

zillion billion years, maybe it was just a pathetically 

vacant week for literature, medical researchers warn women 

about danger at the beauty parlor, Michael has (choose one or 

more: nose chin cheeks eyes mouth toes) surgically altered!, 

mitigating factor: impedes inhalation of particulate matter, 

More people choose British Airways to London than any other 

airline. Duh, most people tend to pick up a word that is introduced 

into the right ear, my bong burnt bright electrifying 

fractals dancing in the raging embers, my method of writing 

allows me to “sight” language by stringing together, my name 

[XIX] 252

is Martin I am great in math but bad in science for whoever, 

never mind that the world seems to be busting out all over — 

small breasts have their, no bull no horseshit just the full honest-to-god 

filth from the creamy-coozer, (note that the change 

in time being talked about was also signaled with a “wa”), 

nothing may be used whole or in part without permission 

from the publishers, now Martha Quinn is doing pimple 

cream commercials and Adam is somewhere, Olympics: faster 

higher stronger. Information: faster smaller cheaper, on one 

side Melville’s whale blubber and on the other is Freud’s 

human blubber, patently utopian and almost necessarily a disaster, 

permanent values independent at least from Life Time 

and Coca-Cola, Please do not send cash through the mail. 

Thank you for helping us to serve you better, please let this be 

a material monument to horizontal structure, post-deconstructive 

tendencies tend to slight or ignore texts altogether, 

recently I read something and I must say I can’t remember the 

author, recognize my God-self is to recognize gists to go some 

rock ‘n’ rollers, red=AIDS purple=urban violence pink=breast 

cancer, remember “Something good is going to happen to you 

today free thinker!”, saints are not produced in batches every 

semester like lawyers and doctors, segregation now segregation 

tomorrow segregation forever, Shall mortal man be more 

just than God? Shall a man be more pure than his maker?, she 

got tired of his tirades about the “no-talent” Arnold 

Schwarzenegger, she said “What you will see is people living 

only on hope in India”, she wants the toilet seat left down and 

he … well actually no trouble there, Siegfried Wagner: 

involved in one homosexual scrape after another, Similarly he 

has no luck with his right hand or with both hands together!, 

so after doing this for years you get popular. You get a little 

more, so throw ya gunz in the air throw ya gunz in the air 

buck buck like you don’t care, stroke your thigh while com- 

253 

[XIX]

menting how much you can’t wait until the meal is over, surface 

often covered with hair bristly in some areas soft in others, 

that way you will be able to look back on your trip and 

really remember, the color of her where she is inside out is 

enough to make me kill her, the drip from their fucks fed 

forty-two ducks three geese and a fucking big gander, The 

economy is finally getting somewhere. What about your 

career?, the laboratory of daily life can almost seem like a torture 

chamber, The movie ends. It’s only 4:30 a.m. That killed 2 

!/2 hours, The Nation is growing older. People are living 

longer dying later, the party merely tolerated Hitler’s enthusiasm 

for Wagner, the patter of rain on the tin roof awakens me 

from a fitful slumber, the soul of an Eastern prophet and the 

spirit of a Western pioneer, the twinkle in his eyes is actually 

the sun shining between his ears, the woman replied “If I 

could come that way I wouldn’t need a vibrator”, Then one 

day it rained. The afternoon sky drew its dark curtains shut 

and it poured, there are more than five McDonalds bags currently 

in the floorboard of your car, there is nothing that cannot 

be done with a pencil and a piece of paper, There’s a part 

of us that believes we can always be better. Stronger. Smarter, 

there’s always somebody working on “the next big thing” in 

some garage somewhere, things go best with K-Y jelly but that 

candelabra will NEVER EVER, this is just a sample of the torture 

all species that we eat must endure, this is never born nor 

ever dies nor having been will not be anymore, this Nicholas 

anon leet fle a fart as greet as it had been a thonder, those lazy 

flower children and their punk-rock spawn can go hang for all 

I care, tiptoe to the edge of a chasm before you jump — that’s 

always easier, to “Get out of my house!” and “What do you 

want with my wife?” there is no answer, to swim the Mister 

misty sea and cease the Mister mystery that Mister, trained to 

think in the exact same way and worry in the exact same man- 

[XIX] 254

ner, two of them are green two are flesh-colored two are blue 

and one is a mixture, usually you don’t have to worry about 

whether to use wa or ga, “Vast” and “Bleak” are the two best 

words I’ve heard describe this. “Really good” are two more, 

watching nine years of your life disintegrate and having to 

start all over, we all would probably not be alive right now had 

Germany won the war, we won’t go down in history but we will 

go down on your little sister), we’ll see how much good your 

thorough knowledge of Ginsberg and Creeley does you there, 

We’ve just extended that to everyday life. Know what? It feels 

even better!, well I am very intuitive and in touch with my feminine 

nature, well I ask myself “How did I spend the morning?” 

and give myself an answer, What did you want? Another 

blurry photo with a dog running through a fire?, What happens 

when a guy takes you out and finds out you are an undertaker?, 

“What if someone falls and breaks their head? Lawsuit 

… parents … insurance … blah blah blah”, What two of the 

so-called primary colors when mixed together make rupture?, 

What’s inside? Is it pubic hair? Is it cobweb air? I bet you just 

don’t care, when asked to explain he replied with disdain “I’m 

trying to buy me a car”, when I was little I was always getting 

my hands caught in the cookie jar, When the bunny loses his 

velvet is he still beautiful? It all means more, when you throw a 

puppy from a ship into the water it can swim to shore, Where 

is a blue collar white guy like me supposed to go to get the 

dharma?, Where is the problem? Because it is certainly not 

with my work that’s for sure, Who picks up the doggie-doo in 

the park — and what do they do with it after?, Who was Isolde 

Wagner and why did the rest of the family spurn her?, Why are 

cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited 

there?, Will you marry me and have my children? [unfortunate 

side-effects: beware!], with a promise to award something 

to those who can come up with the answer, with humans tak- 

255 

[XIX]

ing the place of anthropomorphic animal characters, words at 

their best can only point in the right direction they can’t take 

you there, yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for: they 

hold dough airplanes together, “You guys wanna smoke a 

bowl?” I asked and dove into their living area, you were feeling 

great about that suit until uhhh security in menswear; 

[XIX] 256

XX 

A couple of the couples had the most gigantic butts I’d ever 

seen ever, a cup that was filled with water is drained and just as 

quickly is replaced by air, A is for Amy who fell down the stairs 

B is for Basil assaulted by bears, A man with one watch knows 

what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure, a month 

into the investigation of the bombing of the World Trade 

Center, a non-violent revolution is not a program of seizure of 

power, a slight blow to the head is usually enough to cause 

total amnesia, ADGBE. I think that basically means calculus 

for your fingers, although they’re both Jewish baby-boomers 

from Queens who’ve built an empire dating Cher, an emergency 

tracheotomy is always a good attention-getter, And if 

you can’t call someone a “whoreson” is it okay to call someone 

a “whore?”, and just when it seemed Seventies revisionism 

couldn’t sink any lower, and or section is now keyed with a specific 

search term to let you zip right there, and the touch of 

clothes against your body feels better than you ever remembered, 

and unlike a sock or sometimes I need the entertainment 

even afterwards, And where are the Bay City Rollers 

now? I heard one of them runs a carpet store, and white men 

dig havin’ mindless bitches doing whatever they want whenever, 

any quantity of information to anyone anytime anywhere, 

apparently it was after Mrs. Shetty had seen the wet sari number, 

Are those their fata which we read in sibylline between 

the fas and its nefas?, artists are more worried about money 

than coming up with a good idea, as the eternally perky news- 

257

caster repeated them over and over, at least the truly stupid 

are blissfully unaware that there is more out there, At this 

point is there any doubt in your mind that the fire was set by 

cult members?, basically what we do in our free time is add 

tricks to this dogs repertoire, before she goes out her daddy 

makes her have sex with her and I don’t think that’s fair, 

besides you can’t even live for a year on $20000 anymore, big 

buildings will prematurely ejaculate life as opposed to death 

murder, Bitch maybe. Sometimes even ego-sucking yelloweyed 

liver-rending vulture, But being a young German and 

having to listen to this after 50 years!!!!, but even though she 

ended up with broken crockery and broken furniture, but he 

won’t be whining about his needs while you’re out saving baby 

seals either, but rarely does the discourse go beyond what is 

fed to us by the media, But you do disgust me. And I do resent 

you. I resent breathing the same air, caressing fondling or kissing 

the wife if ejaculation does not occur, castles and candles 

yellow and orange mounds of carnations mixed with rosewater, 

Cezanne’s Orgasm: beneath the brushstrokes the orgasms 

became peaches and pears, crimson and clover over and over 

crimson and clover over and over, dead people are the biggest 

victims of all — and they can’t defend themselves either, develop 

a secret neurotoxin that makes females pregnant with 

dinosaurs, devotion candles orange corner shrine cows spice 

in piles adorned with swastikas, Did anyone notice that T3 has 

four members? I guess it doesn’t matter, discretion is the better 

part of valor but stupidity goes everywhere, Do not call my 

views strange. Do not dismiss me as an “anarchist.” I am neither, 

Do you want to cleanse all Karma and tap into infinite 

creative power?, “Does this mean you’ll be on America’s Most 

Wanted Al?” asks wife Peggy Wanker, “Either it works or it 

doesn’t” as I seem to recall Spicer saying somewhere, elephants 

never forget but you seldom see a kangaroo with a zip- 

[XX] 258

per, eliminate any disorder or discomfort including insomnia, 

even in ancient times mankind admired the vibrant variety of 

texture, Ever take off your shoes and walk barefoot through 

the grass on the beach near the water?, every instance of text 

is separated by an empty space of white paper, everything is in 

bondage to the fetters of time and the fetters of desire, everytime 

that I look in the mirror all these lines on my face getting 

clearer, Father Devine’s Riviera or signed on for more causes 

than he had time for, first with delight then with diminishing 

pleasure and finally with tired despair, for comfort of mind 

writers are better off staying away from one another, For twenty 

years I’ve seen our sixties ideals betrayed. I felt lost and 

uncentered, fortunately it’s a race to see which’ll crap out first: 

his heart or his career, 4:40 a.m. reading Details on a rainy 

sleepless night in India, Friedrich Nietzsche described it as a 

“colossal four-towered Nibelung structure”, geeks haven’t had 

this much excitement since Woody Allen woke up late in 

Sleeper, give within ten percent the proportion of the earth’s 

surface covered by water, glory hole lobs her as for the tit-licking 

question she promised never ever, half of what I say is 

meaningless but I say it just to reach you Julia, He’s already 30 

and he’s still clerking at the Mini-Mart. What a lamer, Helter 

Skelter in a summer swelter the birds flew off with the fallout 

shelter, Hi! My name is Brad Majors and this is my fiancée 

Janet Weiss. I wonder, his dread diabetes by eating a fœtus 

served up in a sauce of manure, I am but an indifferent performer 

but I do not play to please others, I am delighted to 

accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor, I can’t 

imagine anything of the sort has ever been attempted before, I 

didn’t mean for things to turn out like this but I didn’t think 

they’d go this far, I do know that I’m a male who’s been affected 

by exercises of power, I don’t know anything more and I 

don’t know anyone who knows anything more, I for one pre- 

259 

[XX]

fer to purchase my pornography under separate cover, I have 

a question for you folks: Who is uglier? Rappers or Southern 

Rockers?, I looked at her face and saw all the pain that had 

built up over the past ten years, I suddenly felt compelled to 

find the connection between beauty and dogma, I think 

maybe I can rustle up a few “big hair” and “long-nail” salons 

out here, I understood things to be one way but in reality they 

are another, I wanted to use all those great words that you 

were never allowed to use before, I was arguing for popular 

culture and the transcendence of the dance floor, I was there 

toking up in the bathroom and chanting “I wanna take you 

higher”, I was tired of getting arrested and had even considered 

cutting my hair, I went to the door today and the postman 

delivered a partridge in a pear, I wish all the cars would 

break down and be carted away and melted into chairs, I 

would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me 

displeasure, I’d just hate to be that extended economically 

into a culture, I’ll get spanked for quoting Steven Tyler but 

how could I say it any better?, I’m not sure sending poems is 

the answer although I wouldn’t rule it out either, I’ve had it 

with all those obvious lines and I’m not falling for it anymore, 

if God had intended man to watch TV he would have given 

him rabbit ears, if I want to talk to someone I call them — I 

haven’t answered my phone in years, if I wanted to smell like a 

fuckin’ rose I’d hang out at the perfume counter, if I were a 

Jew and I were born in Germany and earned my livelihood 

there, in this sense the pox in your mouth are probably worse 

than the ones in my drawers, instead of the roar which came 

there before came a soft oleaginous mutter, it affords me an 

opportunity to see if I’m really free from anger, it gave me a 

nice healthy fearful wariness of people with too much 

“power”, it is about that fat bloated over inflated misinformed 

ego of yours, It’s a good thing we have gravity or else when 

[XX] 260

irds died they’d just stay right up there, it’s easy to keep them 

interested using “attentive grunting” similar, it’s like a jungle 

sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under, 

it’s like having a party every night except you don’t have to 

clean up after, it’s like i feel like an itchy foot inside a leather 

shoe on a hot summer, Kate Moss is an anorexic 14-year-old 

that someone paid the media, like a yin-yang with a pentagon 

on one side and an apple on the other, looking at him I could 

see the incarnation of John Lennon sitting right there, “Lord 

Crist” quod he “how may this world endure so ful of synne is 

many a creature?”, make sure nothing offends nothing too 

strange nothing to let them see make them wonder, makes 

voice visual candor ingenious the vernacular spectacular, may 

I be a bridge a boat and a ship for all those who wish to cross 

[the water], maybe it’s only me but I can’t understand why 

people buy bottled water, Me: Yes? Them: Hi I’m with Fly-By- 

Night Carpet Cleaning and we’re in your area, men just keep 

on marching off to war electrically they keep a baseball score, 

Mom said “Your father and I sleep together as man and wife 

only once a year”, money will say more in one moment than 

the most eloquent lover can in years, my hopes began to lift 

when I came across the Playtex Thank Goodness It Fits bra, 

nearly A perfectly A and nearly B sizes — fitted on an A rather, 

no anut tummat okei ratatatatatatatatatatatatata, no doubt the 

universe is unfolding as it should whether or not it seems 

clear, no gimmicks just good ole crispy fried down-n-dirty 

southern women of color, No: jocks big hair booty love music 

hickies hippies yuppies and postscript errors, no one knew 

then that he would later go on to guest star on Leave It To 

Beaver, now listen boys whatever you do … do not try and tie 

your pet bacteria, now THAT would look good on anyone’s 

resume — Official Breast Term Updater, oh and covering a 

Simon and Garfunkel song what a novel idea, Oh oh! No 

261 

[XX]

more buttered scones for me Master — I’m off to play the 

grand piana!, oh yes and a game show is of course the definitive 

source for English grammar, one is left to infer the passage 

of time as hair lengthened and drugs got stronger, one 

riverside city has released turtles to cope with the many cadavers, 

one thing is for sure though — the prices are bound to 

plummet over the next two years, or again it’s like having an 

empty glass into which anything may be poured, originally we 

were nowhere and now again we are having the pleasure, our 

language being the primary carrier of our national character, 

our staff will gratefully direct you when you arrive for a peaceful 

adventure, out of everyone you know who owns stereo 

equipment yours should be better, overclearing forests may 

have contributed to the demise of the Maya, people can be 

rendered inoperative by bumping them on the head beware, 

people seeking guns for personal combat want reliable “stopping 

power”, P.P.S. I made a donation to that scummy radio 

station of yours, puts a finger in his ear so the draft through 

his head won’t annoy him anymore, Q is for Quentin who 

sank in a mire R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire, regard your 

own actions thoughts and words just as a person who looks in 

the mirror, replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and 

put it back in the wrapper, self-conscious repressed virtual 

reality sexuality engineers, she has to wear white gloves when 

she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers, she said 

that the confluence of art and money was like mixing oil and 

water, she told me the great poet slightly smiled and began to 

softly tap his fingers, she was sitting here during the break saying 

that she couldn’t take it anymore, so fat she lays on the 

beach and Greenpeace tries to push her back into the water, 

So I really want to pursue the notion of original thought anymore?, 

some men know that a light touch of the tongue running 

from a woman’s toes to her ears, sometimes I want to go 

[XX] 262

talk to people and explain but you could argue for hours, 

Spending all your money on Jolt cola. Spending all your 

money on Transformers, spreading her perfect arms upon the 

air and on her couch murmuring “Where? O where?”, Stupid 

group = stupid posts = stupid posters = stupid readers, suspected 

collaborator — beaten to death several hours after capture, 

telling me how the country was being destroyed by greedy 

land developers, the agreeable sensation of contemplating the 

misery of others, the captain has turned on the seat belt sign 

due to turbulence in the area, the condom cuts off circulation 

to my dick so I can keep it up longer, the dogs in the street 

wouldn’t eat the green meat that hung in festoons from his 

drawers, the groupings of text (one word a few words a sentence) 

are scattered on the paper, the last two lines carry the 

same point as Hui-k’o interview with Bodhidharma, the lows 

will be a little bit lower the highs will be a little bit higher, the 

notion of treating people like possibilities rather than fixed 

structures, the only crowded place was the liquor store with 

men lining up for cheap vodka, the only reason people get 

lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar, the quacks blue 

quacks make her quite a quacker but black is a quicker quacker-backer, 

the waterfall: Poulaphouca Poulaphouca 

Poulaphouca Poulaphouca, the way writers like Tolstoy and 

Joyce coped with their anxiety over Shakespeare, “Then it 

doesn’t matter which way you go” said the Cat “ — so long as I 

get somewhere”, there’ll be gam-smacking sleaze and venomous 

catfights with bikinis blown asunder, there’s a lot of 

offensive shit and a lot of stuff that I don’t agree with here, 

think of 9 women you know odds are that one of them will get 

breast cancer this year, this way the viewer is provided with the 

text and the text only and from there, Thou shalt not shit on 

the rug? Thou shalt not hump the couch when company is 

over?, through the wrought iron gate I see that she has pur- 

263 

[XX]

chased a new air conditioner, to the delight of Nazis Richard 

Strauss agrees to head the Reich Music Chamber, too bad you 

can’t just grab a tree by the very tiptop and bend it clear over, 

total demolition of a room is quite common but lacks any real 

humor, Tweetie you’ll be eating humble pie and picking your 

own feathers out of your craw, “We can never decide on anything 

and then we change our minds” says another, we do not 

read the Bible — but we do care for & we do read the newspaper, 

we hesitate to ask the question because we do not want to 

hear the answer, We want to smell nice now don’t we? So 

what’s the first thing we do? We take a shower, we’ve got to get 

together sooner or later because the revolution’s here, What 

are the critical cues that differentiate one speech sound from 

another?, What’s needed now is to maintain the body. And 

that is a pleasure not a chore, when asked how I lost so much 

weight I replied “I quit eating sugar and butter”, when I get 

bored I go to a Seven-Eleven and ask for a two-by-four, When it 

is 12 o’clock noon in New York City what time is it in Nirvana?, 

when people start to like what you’re doing then you’re probably 

fucking them over, where electrical conduit has been 

replaced wall speckled with fresh white plaster, whether it’s 

your house or your wife or your kids — in anything there is no 

future, whose blood consisted of alcohol testosterone adrenaline 

and anger, Why toss out perfectly good words just because 

they do not fit into the order?, Will I end up like him? Or him 

that guy with the big head and the dumb comb-over?, women 

who are on top after you’re finished lie on your chest and 

drool all over, years did not matter to him because he thought 

in terms of the unending future, yo’ mama so ugly that 

“Gorillas in the Mist” was her taking a shower, you are very 

close to God-realization — at the very latest November, you 

can’t coat a wolf in chocolate because a wolf already has its 

own fur, you know it’s going to be a bad day when you jump 

[XX] 264

out of bed and miss the floor, You look like the type of girl 

who has heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?, 

you may notice the dark area on the inside portion of the dark 

sucker, you’d think about what kind of food you want and the 

table would move across the floor, Your body is not composed 

of Gatorade. Your body is composed of water; 

265 

[XX]

XXI 

A connection with the past is no different from a connection 

with the future, a dog returns to his own vomit and a sow after 

washing returns to the mire, a dream will come true if it happens 

to be about bestiality or blenders, a language that was 

banned in the 1300’s has become fashionable once more, a 

tremendously funny and convoluted novel I’ve read over and 

over, a turnpiker who is by turns a pikebailer no seldomer than 

an earwigger, african head charge agnes morehead arrowhead 

automatic head detonator, all heady questions again philosophical 

which I leave for the heads of others, All sages end up 

in paradise. It is good to die as a martyr for Allah, Allen 

Ginsberg wore khakis (and he still does). Only one autograph 

per customer, and all day she’d wriggle and giggle and jiggle as 

though seven devils possessed her, And if you don’t quit jerking 

off your elbow’s never going to get any better!, and we lost 

our ability to question and our minds became small and full of 

fear, and when he could not see it he kept his eye on the spot 

where he thought it would appear, any good beach is filled 

with men and women cavorting about in skimpish attire, as 

long as we follow it through and do it with discipline we can do 

whatever, ASAP? But how? Weaving? No. Transplant? Not for 

him. A hairpiece? Never never, Ask yourself can you bop to a 

backward line “torturing crews/like Jews in gas chambers?”, 

aussie tas pappas pays tribute to the vert gods with a nollie heal 

flip indy star, besides poverty I’ve always enjoyed handing a 

stack of coupons to a cashier, blood in the saliva will not break 

266

the fast if the blood is less than the saliva, bury a cat in the 

ground up to its neck and run it over with a lawnmower, but 

for once I think I see eye to eye with these doctor-murdering 

women haters, but no don’t have the women dance naked on 

the casket ‘cause my children will be there, but she’s holding 

up better than I am and I am young enough to be her daughter, 

But what of the short phrases in the beginning? Do they 

become a sort of a mantra?, cancer of the prostate typically 

strikes guys my father’s age down in Florida, capitalized like 

the Universe or the Bed or the Radio/Cassette Player, cat 

AIDS and I wonder if she’s going to give it to me via her saliva, 

Cheryl’s been away only three weeks and the bathroom continues 

to get dirtier, Confucius say he that go to bed with itchy 

asshole wake up with smelly finger, consciously or unconsciously: 

whatever way one falls into the trough of nectar, 

Deconstructing the Guardians of Nostalgia: A Defense of the 

“Young Writer”, Deja Fu: the feeling that somehow somewhere 

you’ve been kicked in the head like this before, desire is here 

to impel us to the “supreme effort” to abandon all desire, 

Dianetics: a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of 

fire, Did we consume a poisonous mushroom or did the chicken 

give us salmonella?, Do you have a power/god complex? 

Or is the Prozac finally taking over?, either periodically or 

irregularly to some height into the air, embroiled in an unfortunate 

period in our history eating granola, epsilon phase has 

a tiny moment with some baby-voiced ethereal whispers, Esau 

the elder traded his rights to inherit the possessions of his 

father, every time an insurmountable hurdle is sighted someone 

finds a way over, feeling sexy earthy and ripe I lay in the 

vineyard and contemplated nature, flashes of women who 

have really had the piss whaled out of them by Bud-crazed 

workers, for the same reason: spite at and sheer boredom with 

the mainstream formats being offered, for three days after 

267 

[XXI]

death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls 

taper, forever rigging the wires with the finest in juicy visualizaria, 

Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it 

turn it off when you are, get the box (Clairol Ultra Blue) and 

skip the $30 + salon fee for sure, got fired from my AutoCad 

job today — really they must not have liked me too much 

there, Guy 3: Fine! Burn in hell! Guy 1: What hell? Guy 2: 

Yeah. You invented it. You go there, Have you been having 

weird dreams lately? Or is it just me dreaming it up? (I wonder…), 

Have you ever removed the tag that says “do not 

remove under penalty of law”?, he is trying to persuade us to 

view his facial landscape in a certain manner, he’s definitely 

got his own style that has been molded from studying those 

masters, here I sit in shitty vapor but alas the one before me 

used all the paper, hit a wall and splattered into a plethora (10 

points!) of dissected descriptors, “Honey! You spend more 

time with that COMPUTER than you do with me!” “What did 

you say dear?”, how I am evolving from a visual artist into a 

committed writer, Hurrah and huzzah for the spork. (Not a 

foon you dork.) It is a good start but why stop there?, I am not 

very fat but then I am not exactly what you may call thin 

either, I am your king and you’d better do what I say or else I 

can’t be king anymore, I can see it as a humbling and deep 

time the type of time when the most growth occurs, I don’t 

smoke I don’t drink I don’t curse. Goddammit! I left my cigarettes 

at the bar, I felt it in the pits of my fingertips (no explanation 

for this one either), I find it a distasteful form of cultural 

imperialism remember, I guess this is what they mean when 

they say Americans don’t have a sense of humour, I have no 

talent at all so I get to run around and scream and yell and 

holler, I like to lace my hair with Kool-Aid — my unsuspecting 

friends attempt to drink my hair, I never took LSD but my 

worldview is that of the psychedelic era, I overhear at a bar: 

[XXI] 268

“Jeez now people look at you weird if you wear bright colors!”, 

I really enjoy the book but am bothered by the instance of the 

word “nigger”, I select a sound collect the words and put them 

into my predetermined order, I suppose maturity has a part 

but I can’t really understand that either, I wanted her to know 

that there was a vast world out there that was bigger and better, 

I was a lonely youth on desert shores my sports were lonely 

‘mid continuous roars, “I’m afraid” said the abbot that you 

don’t have much of a career as a bell ringer, I’m apologizing 

for the United States. This shouldn’t happen when you come 

here, I’m not much of a man by the light of day but by night 

I’m one hell of a lover, I’m serious she’s the coyote date from 

hell and Zippy went off and married her!, I’m turning 30 this 

summer and when I look at my life all I see is failure, I’ve 

never been worried about what is going to happen to me in 

the future, If you hit a dog you have to report it. If you hit a 

cat it doesn’t matter, in either case we know that life’s more 

fully lived when we are open to whatever, Indian summer in 

mid-September. Again we turn on our air-conditioner, instead 

of my first thought being “I’m such a lowly worm” it’s “Whatta 

pack of losers”, Instructions: Read each question carefully. 

Answer all questions. Time limit is four hours, it doesn’t matter 

what temperature a room is — it’s always room temperature, 

It is an expansive project that is getting more complex 

and deeper with each year!, it is both hard to read and hard to 

put down and it bears rereading like few others, It sells love 

and apologies. It prostitutes what is supposed to be near and 

dear, it would be argument for a week laughter for a month 

and a good jest forever, It’s a disaster. And my generation is 

responsible for this disaster, It’s odd how events converge to 

bring this to mind. All of a sudden it’s everywhere, it’s the way 

the words are being used that distinguishes one author from 

another, it’s very easy for a man to whip out his penis and flop 

269 

[XXI]

it around somewhere, jenerally then the improvement would 

kontinue iear bai iear with Iear, Know what you are? You’re a 

bunch of Artfags! Artfags! Choke on this you dance-a-teria, 

language is woven into that pattern of human activity and 

character, love is when you like someone a lot and then you go 

through a lot of shit together, low fat fiber source great taste 

no salt naturally cholesterol free no sugar, many dolls and 

most domesticated animals have neotenous features, marijuana 

would be an excellent cash crop for the small American 

farmer, may I become an inexhaustible treasure for those who 

are destitute and poor, maybe I can get on the Rikki Lake 

show someday and talk about my new gender, men tend to 

think about their machines as an extension of their physical 

power, most people engross themselves in the game and 

devote lifetimes to piling up counters, Mr. Noodles (a 

Canadian delicacy) $4.50/box of 24, My girlfriend hates me. 

My dog just pissed on my foot. My job sucks. I don’t have any 

more, My mother is a women of accomplishment. That is not 

an idle boast either, mystic patter says the matter’s simple: just 

surrender and follow some mind-bender, never answer a question 

with an answer that includes the words never or answer, 

not everything is great but by the same token there’s something 

for everybody here, O God! Where am I to find the 

strength? Where? O where? At thirty-three a total failure!, oh 

my sagging gonads aching pulsating sore as shitty left handed 

screwdrivers, on The Price Is Right because we round off our 

retail prices to the nearest dollar, on the sidewalk poets 

bitched about who made Harold Bloom’s list and who was 

passed over, or think of a bulge that rises so high as to be considered 

a scary danger, or think of a car crashed into a high 

white and orange concrete post on the corner, or think of a 

celestial-chic computer synchronized array of six mirrors, or 

think of a collage of receding centuries having absorbed an 

[XXI] 270

idea, or think of a computer translating all the above data into 

a picture, or think of a cylinder that might be adhered to the 

inside of a green roller, or think of a gaggle of youths skinnydipping 

while players make melodies ashore, or think of a 

moat filled with green grass lilac and daisies during the 

warmer summers, or think of a moment of silence grave concentration 

and devotional rigor, or think of a monastical 

silence so quiet as to hear nothing but the air, or think of a 

particular similarity among the primary colors, or think of a 

point and imagine the reorganization of its dead center, or 

think of a quiet summer night houndstooth blazer and butterflies 

in the burgers, or think of a Renaissance courtyard with 

white-columned porticoes and two loggias, or think of a road 

through the desert: a ribbon of dead-straight sun-baked shimmering 

tar, or think of a rose-tinted hilltop and street scene 

combined with a cathedral’s three spires, or think of a situation 

where we might fancy white as a primary color, or think of 

a society of desperation. That is not. Not true anymore, or 

think of a stack of long stringy peacock feathers topped by a 

large gold-framed mirror, or think of a still life in front of 

which is placed a blue and white earthenware pitcher, or think 

of a time when one might say “this is sweet” and another 

might say “this is sour”, or think of a white patch turning redder 

and a black patch quietly growing whiter, or think of 

Aborea palms and the soft yellow light of a crystal chandelier, 

or think of an archway abstract faces in peach yellow pink and 

other pale colors, or think of an assortment of odd rooms that 

reveal tapestried portraits and armor, or think of an empty 

place where anything goes and fully being right where you 

are, or think of an explosion so large that its prime features 

are expected to be clear, or think of being far up there unencumbered 

by clouds pollution and atmosphere, or think of 

black twisted curls on white tablecloths swollen and ready to 

271 

[XXI]

e devoured, or think of blue blue moons blue notes 

Bluebeards bluegrass blue lagoons blue movies and blue 

hours, or think of blueberry pie sunny duck fried onion rings 

and a roll made of lobster, or think of boxes held together 

with tape from which protrude several dangling wires, or think 

of Christina Olson disabled from childhood gazing up from a 

pasture, or think of cosmic dark matter that reputably holds 

the universe together, or think of debt anger mandrill’s buttocks 

prostitution attack the scarlet letter, or think of dozens 

and dozens of roses that become redder as it grows darker, or 

think of Dr. Jekyll’s evil potion and of Dorothy’s ruby red slippers, 

or think of fireballs which when thrown suddenly 

revealed the disappearance of water, or think of four dimensional 

space with its hue range and saturation of colors, or 

think of fresh mourning in Borneo and carbon monoxide in 

glass canisters, or think of George’s River on one side and 

horses and cows grazing on the other, or think of glimpsing 

the city’s incomparable neon haze with awestruck wonder, or 

think of golden arches gimp lace dental plaque dead leaves 

and custard yellow matter, or think of heated glass which when 

melted spins into a near perfect parabola, or think of hillsides 

strewn with garbage and tents beside a creek bed littered with 

lawn chairs, or think of him clutching his possessions to his 

breast as he is propelled down river, or think of how a particular 

perfume may lure one nose and repel another, or think of 

how birds fly trailing bunches from their beaks. Countless are 

the ways grapes figure, or think of how candles mysteriously 

arrived to light acre upon acre, or think of how clear skies 

might have rendered their rite null and void — a sort of a rupture, 

or think of how cold water upswells from below producing 

cooler temperatures, or think of how ground could be 

reseeded and grass could be growing in a few weeks there, or 

think of how islands can gradually reveal violet blue-tinged 

[XXI] 

272

lush rivers, or think of how poignant two peeling weathered 

doors in a woodshed off the kitchen are, or think of how three 

cold people huddled beneath a blanket and sucked marijuana, 

or think of how troopers roamed the fields reminding the 

remainders that all was over, or think of it as a notion of their 

willingness to take any sort of manna, or think of it’s axioms in 

place. Can brain know the world around it and register?, or 

think of large groups of people riding on raised hands that 

collide with one another, or think of late afternoon as two 

women stand talking in gray tracksuits and sneakers, or think 

of locating a single one among a multiplicity of answers, or 

think of maples which have gone from bare-branched svelteness 

to a silhouette that’s fuller, or think of masses of people 

packed into the subway station of Times Square rush hour, or 

think of not only differences in ranges but differences in structure, 

or think of one so ravenous for power that the lights of 

downtown dim and flicker, or think of one who lightly throws 

off scruples as he tosses back his shock of blond hair, or think 

of one who might say “I can’t imagine what it would be like to 

see a chair”, or think of our long walk to town together in the 

midst of a torrential downpour, or think of potato wart forbidding 

skies conjunctivitis and of old paper, or think of purples 

and oranges. One might dare to say that purple looks hungrier, 

or think of rain slickers unpopular cats foul curtains and 

the color of butter, or think of seemingly endless majestic 

groves of peach plum and apricot arbors, or think of selfish 

moonless nights reluctant to give much advance notice to others, 

or think of some small openings that were once used for 

pouring hot oil on attackers, or think of spectacularly shaped 

mountains with huge icefields and blue icy glaciers, or think 

of speed bumps callused feet ugly nicotine deposits on teeth 

and fingers, or think of subtle variations of the Indian paintbrush 

that grow in nature, or think of that which can live with- 

273 

[XXI]

out demur at every extreme swamp desert tundra, or think of 

that which does not normally emit the vapor which produces 

comas, or think of that which existed farther and farther as we 

grew closer and closer, or think of that which is a month old 

and not yet the size of a pencil eraser, or think of the crowd’s 

roar for lame versions of masterpieces one after another, or 

think of the districts rolling racks gridlock traffic gray brownish 

smog choked atmosphere, or think of the ever-changing 

light and capricious weather that drew them toward shore, or 

think of the green spongy holes caused by scraping a sick girl’s 

energy barrier, or think of the mountains on the moon the 

earth as a ball and this line being straighter, or think of the 

same old day in and day out humdrum mix of business leisure 

and war, or think of the second horse of the Apocalypse and 

necks of country outlaws, or think of the songs of sparrows 

blackbirds and swallows and the buzzing of cicadas, or think of 

the synapses encased within a single skull more numerous 

than stars, or think of the upraised arms of a saguaro cactus 

and a far ridge sage-colored, or think of the waves that penetrated 

deeply into the Jovian atmosphere, or think of the yellow 

orange pink green blue white lavender and velvet that he 

saw, or think of these statements by no means complete but 

remaining within parameters, or think of those rightly by their 

nature and actions who might be considered dead stars, or 

think of those thrilled to have run away for the weekend from 

authority figures, or think of thousands of people hauling 

rain-sodden bedding and wearing mile-long hours, or think of 

waves that lap gently or crash wildly upon a lighthouse’s squat 

tower, oscillating fin-de-millennium mood of deep euphoria 

and deep despair, our fragmentation celebrate the oh-so-local 

to abandon utopias, praise be to you oh piece of shit for sliding 

out and relieving my tightened sphincter, (preparing to use 

peanut butter sexually) “But I just steam-cleaned this sofa!”, pro- 

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274

posed to her that they should produce children by biting off 

and crunching parts of her, repeated language forms a pattern 

throughout the work that soon will become familiar, roni a 

gag a banana bag a tan a tag a banana bag again or, rooting 

through a dumpster behind a Burger King in search of a halfeaten 

Whopper, sexism in an alphabet — teaching program in 

which the letters are characters, Shall I be dragged down into 

the narrow limits of your conventional life? Never!, So he cut a 

small hole in his skull with an electric drill. He never felt better!, 

some people find fulfillment in the Bible others in a new 

stereo or car, some say it bounced clean over the moon but 

whoever says that is a goddamn liar, some stupid schmuck 

turning around and telling you you have to go faster or slower, 

someone ruined Sade’s “Smooth Operator” for me by singing 

“grain elevator”, take a few minutes to wash the children’s 

hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, teacher 

preacher story teller poet and a nurse met up in the sea gull 

cellar, that unquenchable lust that looks always outward for 

more never glances back to where, the devil’s the only one 

who really gets fatter lead ruptures flesh spleens are shattered, 

the language of self-alteration is the language of full awareness 

of others, the long hours of waiting were killed with unceasing 

conversation and several beers, The many uses for a bar pole 

or railing are endless. Up under down over, the minnie balls 

shot and shells rained upon us from every direction except 

the rear, the minuscule transfer of a given word from one syntactic 

slot to another, the new development in this business is 

that Pure has just released a song called Pure, the other one 

will kiss and suck the offered fingers which will soon again disappear, 

the pigs shouted “Go to hell you carnivorous imperialistic 

oppressor!”, The Ring as code names for military operations: 

“Operation Walküre”, the undiminishing presence of 

the 1960’s on 1990’s culture, the virus unzips it’s coat letting 

275 

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long snakes of DNA go “thud” onto the floor, Their jaws 

ground in mutual mastication. Saliva and sweat. Sweat and 

saliva, there are always two meanings to everything — one 

wider and the other narrower, this equilibrium point can be 

modified by scraping off some of the butter, this is not the corruption 

of signifiers but the new religion of culture, To this 

day we love lying in bed reading romantic poetry to each 

other, too much time spent talking shop and worrying about 

“what’s coming up” in the future, Tricky couldn’t tell Zippies 

from hippies from Yippies from flippies — his nose from his 

rear, Two lunatics walking on the street find a mirror. “Fuck 

the porridge” said Baby Bear, Under Penalty Of Law This Tag 

Not To Be Removed Except By The Consumer, unfortunately 

sometimes we start to drown in this flood of data gasping for 

air, Vote now for the worst toupee: 1. Sam Donaldson 2. Burt 

Reynolds 3. Frank Sinatra, we are finding a whole lot of riddles 

wrapped in mysteries inside of enigmas, we’re gonna 

need an OCEAN of Lysol to remove the stench of bullshit 

from the store, well I saw it on the Internet so I figured it 

might be a good idea, What are your worst characteristics? I 

have none because I’m happy all the time. Ha!, what I heard 

in his voice was a ragged ambivalence towards desire and 

power, What’s red and chunky and travels in a circle at 190 

mph?, when all you’ve got to look forward to is punishment 

you stop living in the future, whenever I take a step forward I 

find that someone else has thought of it before, Whenever you 

hurt I suffer. You hurt I suffer. I suffer. Oy! Do I suffer!, Why 

did the homosexual leave home? He didn’t like the way he was 

being reared, Why is it that every schmuck who thinks he can 

act has got to audition with Shakespeare?, Why should we fear 

that our children will be less efficient or successful than we 

are?, wipe the shit eating grins off the mugs of 98% of those 

upstart pikers, Woman to woman talks I’ve heard of and even 

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276

approve. But two women kissing? Ugh!, you actually know 

which kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper, 

you are a child of nature no less than the trees and stars — 

you have a right to be here, you are right about the last digit 

and I think I know how you figure the others, you don’t have a 

room you don’t have a house but you do have a whole lot of 

character, you see I’ve discovered that through serious boozing 

all of life’s troubles disappear; 

277 

[XXI]

XXII 

A high sound is different from a low sound even when both 

are called by the same letter, a onetime tennis ace searches for 

his lost stroke and finds something infinitely sweeter, Abba — 

from the first letters of their Christian names: Anni-Frid Benny 

Bjorn Agnetha, all these abstract thoughts float around until I 

snatch them from the air and put them in order, also I keep 

hoping that I can remove the booger that’s been clinging to 

my ass hair, America’s most potent export is was and always 

will be its popular culture, among them will be how to adapt 

to the brace stance that knobs must use their entire first year, 

an SPF 8 forms an effective daily UVA/UVB sun barrier, and 

the standard Saran Wrap across women’s toilets Karo syrup 

flour in the shower, Anna banna bo-bana banana-bana bobanna 

fe fi bo-banna Anna, Another night of art openings. Go 

out and talk to people you really don’t care for, apparently the 

original Levis had crotch rivets to keep them from splitting 

there, Are my needles new or resterilized used ones or 

bleached or worse yet just rinsed with water?, as the lotus 

which arises out of the mud but stands clean and fresh above 

the water, as the plane lifted off through a hazy Delhi morning 

I said good-bye to India, awash in turbulent guitars and slow 

burning mind blowing soul searching hysteria, because if it’s 

any good it’ll just end up being tattooed behind somebody’s 

ear, can’t make love again at 5 in the afternoon on the 

Tuesday we spoke of earlier, caught between two evils neither 

of which can be evaded without risking the other, Co-workers 

278

leave employment section on your chair. Comments such as 

“You jerk!” and “Bootlicker!”, cup-top T-back two-pack mono 

triangle-top chain-back full-bottom sling-bottom piecer, Do I 

gotta tell you everything? Now you’re starting to sound like a 

guidance counselor, doctors keep a close watch on former 

President Nixon who is still in a deep coma, don’t get your b.: 

face would: get off my b.: give it b.: go back: got calluses: guess 

who’s: her, Don’t you wanna hang out with the bleach boys 

baby in a land where midgets run for mayor?, each person’s 

spheres are a little different and some have more or broader 

spheres than others, even dogs trained to sit without moving 

for thirty five minutes have a Buddha-nature, even if Harry 

Hoinkus states outright that he likes tomato sauce on his 

pasta, eventually you’ll be able to customize a baby like you do 

with a car, everyday around 5:00 I get that nagging feeling that 

I have to be somewhere, eyes get dreamlike whenever never 

takes flippers is not British nor thankful nor spider, for ther he 

was nat lyk a cloysterer with a thredbare cope as is a povre scoler, 

France discovered 3 feet deep in puréed Spam juice squirted 

from the groin of Tina Turner, free as possible of all 

authoritarian structures strictures sculptures and scriptures, 

get out of bed at three in the morning to hunt for a pen and a 

clean sheet of paper, Gilligan Skipper Mr. and Mrs. Howell 

Ginger Mary Anne and the Professor, Glasgow waves go rolling 

over rolling over rolling over going down the sewer, got burnt 

out during the stagnant and apathetic summer of 1974, have 

to get in embarrassing kickline at end of ceremony with other 

winners, he asks for a dollar you know what it’s for bottle after 

bottle he’ll always need more, he piped up “That’s the problem 

with poets today. They don’t know how to edit anymore”, 

he said that what I really needed to do now was to find my 

proper “subject matter”, he turned to me and said “What good 

am I if I can’t make or break anybody’s career?”, He will not 

279 

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listen. He refuses anybody’s help. We cannot help him anymore, 

he would charge one-and-two for permission to view his 

remarkable double pudenda, he’d have his tongue so far 

down that monkey’s throat that he’d be tasting yesterday’s 

banana, I casually reached into my jacket and activated my 

pocket recorder, I couldn’t stop thinking of her flaxen Danish 

hair blue eyes and our six hour love affair, I had rather be a 

kitten and cry and mew than one of those metre balladmongers, 

I have tried to practice humility not daring to place 

myself higher than others, I know that this move is baffling to 

those who have supported me over the past few years, I never 

asked what they meant — I only entered them into my computer 

as they were, I never understood your thing with 

dancers — they’re almost as bad as TV directors!, I slit a sheet 

a sheet I slit upon a slitted sheet I sit. I’m not the sheet slitter, 

I tend to use so many words that I’ll often forget what I’ve collected 

and later, I think we can plug just one more thing into 

this outlet strip without tripping the breaker, I took the first 

bong hit sucking down an insane amount of smoke and passed 

the bong over, I was going to miss the quiet of the hills and 

the simplicity of life up there, I was struck with the image of 

Don Johnson descending into the underground future, I’m a 

scraggly acre of undeveloped land in East Houston on an 

August scorcher, I’ve done this work before and it has been 

successful in terms of what I’m laying out here, If America is 

so shit hot at war then why is Saddam Hussein still in power?, 

if brains were dynamite she wouldn’t have enough to blow her 

nose/the wax out of her ears, if complexity is the source of 

our freedom it is also the source of our terror, if he donated 

his brain to science it’d set civilization back 50 years, if it’s not 

dead then it should be dead and I’ll volunteer to help with 

this euthanasia, in addition to gas we are rationing ass and 

you’ve greatly exceeded your quota, in order to fight against 

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280

the house style you have to justify every single comma, inconsiderate 

co-workers who put their filthy hiking boots on other 

people’s chairs, Indian in American NBA shirt on holiday 

sings “Buffalo Soldier”, Is it possible that your heterosexuality 

stems from a neurotic fear?, Isn’t there a real good 

McCarthyite pigheaded sonnet-writing bunch of people somewhere?, 

just the sampling I’ve made here is just the tip — 

there are undoubtedly thousands more out there, ladies and 

gentlemen now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure, 

learn to love life as itself and your fears of what is around the 

corner will disappear, Leonardo DaVinci never drove a car 

watched T.V. or rode an elevator, letterslettersletterslettersletterslettersletterslettersletterslettersletters, 

love and latex 

Heinrich Himmler S.S. ReichsFührer (and a hell of a camp 

counselor!), LYNCH (Watching him…) You would have a better 

chance of lighting it if you held the match nearer, many of 

the mosh-pit evacuations were attributed to claustrophobia, 

Marilyn was not a great actress nor was Elvis a great musician 

(and vice versa), Maybe I shouldn’t have given the guy who 

pumped my stomach my phone number but who cares?, my 

friends go ga-ga over it and my children just love to spill their 

goodies on the floor, my mind is spun out — all I can do is 

stare and try like mad to keep my shit together, Nzrgnbit 

Zipplikaddah Cherbis Gazrag Earth Minnip Koodah Soon. 

Mwahahah!, Obsessive? How can I have time to be obsessive. 

I’m constantly on the computer, Oh my mind don’t be thinking 

one thing in private and outwardly pretending another!, 

on a long ride sway side to side at the natural frequency of the 

elevator, On the good days it’s beautiful but on the bad days 

it’s like get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here!, once I thought I saw you 

in a crowded hazy bar dancing on the light from star to star, 

one day every factory will be transformed into an intoxicating 

orchestra, or a man who sits by the seaside and with a straw 

281 

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picks up a single drop of water, parents call too often — every 

time I listen to the answering machine they are there, People 

who pronounce washcloth “warshcloth.” Same goes for refrigerator 

being “frigidaire”, played a game where it was unknown 

who would be getting drugs (who’s got the pill etc.), Please 

sign me up for the other gender. I want out of the paradigm 

presented here, Polonius: Do you know me my lord? Hamlet: 

Excellent well you are a fishmonger, purposeful purposelessness 

self-discipline an open awareness joyous composure, 

recite entire movie scripts (e.g. “The Road Warrior” “Repo 

Man” “Casablanca”), reefers and roach clips and papers and 

rollers cocaine and procaine for twenty year molars, religion 

has grabbed the best part of procreation as we laymen are 

puny creatures, right there they should have realized that it 

was going to be a nightmare living together, shuttled between 

sadistic grandmother and indifferent semi-lesbian mother, so 

they came inside and I was like “Dude what’s up? Why are you 

jerking off next to me for?”, someone even had the guts to 

refer to him as the Keanu Reeves of India, that ninety percent 

of contemporary society is also missing matter, That’s because 

they’re giving us too much. We don’t have time to live with 

anything anymore, That’s kind of where I’m at. If I wasn’t a 

writer I’d be one of those time travelers, That’s right. If you 

have a Daddy Pear and a Mommy Pear you’re bound to have a 

Baby Pear, That’s the problem with our world today. We are 

much too pragmatic in our choice of career, the alternative 

will be I’m afraid the total and complete death of Amerika, 

the cat proceeds to balance the aquatic naysayer on the end of 

his umbrella, the hardness of the butter is in direct proportion 

to the softness of the butter, the label said “mixed fruit jam” 

but tasted more like strawberry jello crammed into a jar, the 

stance requires knobs to stand with their chests thrust out 

their chins tucked tightly into their necks their, The where- 

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282

abouts of Jimmy Hoffa? (He’s running a Burger King in South 

America), then they expect you to pick a career when you 

can’t really function you’re so full of fear, there are degrees of 

pleasure but it is stupid to speak of a measurement of pleasure, 

they might’ve been washing their fucking shorts in the 

oceans and dirtying up the water, This world is nothing but 

schemes and plots all working at cross purposes. I can do no 

more, thus it was a collaboration in the truest sense with mutual 

ownership — or, tilted my head back forcibly and stuffed my 

mouth full of stale Tato Skins and dead gophers, tragic finitude 

at being trapped in fatigued tubercular bodies as deathchambers, 

two people will often converse while one stares out 

the window with their back to the other, understatement is 

always the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas, 

upon walking into the room I felt relieved that I did not know 

a single soul there, walking in the Village group of youths 

passed by and mistook Cheryl for Sinead O’Connor, What a 

beautiful pussy you are you are you are! What a beautiful pussy 

you are!, What do you get when you cross a donkey with an 

onion? A piece of ass that will bring tears, What is the Terror 

Cow? How do you clear all the Iraqi’s out of a BINGO parlor?, 

what I think and feel can be my inspiration but it is also my 

pair of blinders, What Titan was chained to a rock where an 

eagle perpetually devoured his liver?, What’s an Ali McGraw? 

I’ve been trying to figure out that one for the last twenty years, 

when choosing between two evils I always like to take the one 

I’ve never tried before, when the painters at Lascaux drew 

those bison they were probably thinking of their dinner, When 

will one be able to play virtual flipper through the web tilting 

one’s monitor?, when you started getting hair on your sexual 

areas you wouldn’t tell your mother, Where do you see yourself 

in 10 years? Most of you said that was too far ahead to 

answer, Where in the hell can a guy hide in Hong Kong with 

283 [XXII]

two beautiful women and disappear?, Where is my star? I 

wanna go through that cool slidey metal contraption and get 

my star, which each individual anywhere on the spectrum 

from “lurker” to “exhibitor”, which was so un-freakin’-believable 

I almost wet my brand new Adidas boxers, which will 

leave me exactly where he wants me: doubled up with laughter 

and none the wiser, Who did I think I was going to Long 

Island thinking I had the answer to their prayers?, Who else 

are you talking to? Let’s see. I’m talking to Dr. Joyce Brothers. 

Oh forget her, with a little luck they will soon be among the 

highest paid poets in America, women keep three different 

shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower, yes it 

is the 1990’s and we all understand that the macho thing is 

over, you may find happiness at the bottom of an ordinary 

looking bottle of beer, you put a baby on a paper plate and 

tried to put it in a refrigerator, you’re a (echo “Stick a”) hot dog 

(“up your”) but you better not try to hurt her Frank Furter, 

You’re about two inches away from my killfile and getting closer 

all the time , yup the tendencies are still there 

but I intend to suppress them until they disappear, Zere were 

zwei peanuts walking down ze strasse. And one was assaulted 

peanut. Ha ha ha; 

[XXII] 284

XXIII 

A “false” community defines itself in relation to a few elevated 

centers, a huge baroque web of attachments and retro-attachments 

reaching into every corner, a person who could not be 

helped by the Buddha was truly a person without a future, a 

white supremacist wants permission to wear a Ku Klux Klan 

robe and be called “Hi Hitler”, absorbed or englobed to the 

point where they become part of the inner structure (or “deep 

grammar”), accept the fact that you will never fully understand 

why others are so inferior, after months of struggle I am 

finally beginning to accept myself as a writer, all he could manage 

to say about my work was “Well. You certainly did a lot of 

work there”, also I’m 32 years old and these represent my 

clothes for the last six or seven years, and I saw that relationships 

no matter how nice they may be always manage to 

expire, and then when the solid yellow divider becomes dotted 

then the solid yellow appears, and we are all enmeshed in 

the net stuck together by the sweet and sticky text characters, 

Animals have yet to speak out. Dr. Seuss is on his way to act as 

an interpreter, as a logical extension of the process I’ve simply 

extended the order farther, as long as you end up with both 

who cares whether knowledge is power or money is power, 

avoid tumbling off the cliff of triteness into the black abyss of 

overused metaphors, but the result was a case of blue balls for 

him and for me a case of swollen labia, Capt. Save-a-hoe had 

better strap on his cape the shot calla is creeping on the 

under, Charles “Chuck” Mingus King of Cunnilingus 

285

Occupational Poetry and Other Dharma, confusing a process 

(thinking) with the existence of a substance (I) a basic error, 

Dark is heavier than light. Dark always settles to the bottom of 

a lake and/or river, dark threatening industrial that doesn’t 

hit you at 120 mph, Dear Jay and Kenny — Real friends are so 

hard to find. Thanx for being in my life!!! Always Gretta, 

denotes something you are as well as something you do (like 

“poet” for example or “dreamer”), 

Destroyitkillitblowthefuckeruperadicateitsomehowitmustbesto 

ppednowaagghhh!!!!, did you ev’a iv’a ov’a in your lef’a lif’a lo 

see a dev’a div’a dov’a, different hallucinogenic state d elemental 

that can’t be in ayahuasca, Divine meditation among 

the cadavers is a shortcut to a high school diploma!, Do you 

seem to be always the listener and the one lectured rather 

than the lecturer?, from behind the register a RABBI is 

dragged onto the counter and across the scanner, Ha Ha Ha 

aH hA!! People who want to get their media out DON’T 

NEED YOU. Ha aH Ha Ha, half our mind is being utilized but 

physically and mentally we’re still sleepwalkers, Hank could 

suck down 3 bottles of red & write 5 poems that’d put your 

Hallmark rhymes to shame. Sure, have a delicious shake for 

breakfast another for lunch and then eat a sensible dinner, he 

kept screaming at the top of his lungs “AUDIO WHORE! 

AUDIO WHORE!” right in James’s ear, He was then asked 

what his view was of the future. He looked directly into the 

camera, hey if cigarette smoke can’t cleanse your system a balanced 

diet isn’t likely to either, hot rainy Indian night tube lit 

blue-stained chalk walls can’t sleep look at watch a quarter to 

four, How fantastic the scope of those books! How large they 

are! How long they are! How much like life they are!, How 

have you continued on with what do you for so many years 

with so few people who care?, How long does it take to drink 

in a life? Don’t worry. You don’t stay in Disneyland forever, I 

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286

always wanted a toaster that could launch hot bread products 

up to 30 feet in the air, I didn’t know what I was looking for 

other than incense and US flag rolling papers, I don’t believe 

anyone can have ownership over the distribution of words. So 

there, I don’t want any one type of thing or approach or way 

of thinking to become enshrined here, I feel guilty because I 

didn’t go to temple today — after all it is Yom Kippur, I give 

up with you people. It’s always “me me me” with you. Well I 

won’t take it anymore, I had no prior knowledge of the 

planned assault on Nancy Kerrigan I did however, I hate it 

when I go to use the toilet paper and I can’t find the end of 

the paper, I have always preferred the outdoor life: hunting 

fishing slaughtering a few of God’s creatures, I have made this 

letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it 

shorter, I just saw her walking down the hall with a mattress 

strapped to her back asking for volunteers!, I missed Punk 

because my record player was broken and because I was suddenly 

older, I think that he is dating waif model Kate Moss 

presently but I am not completely sure, I told him that I 

planned to do a long piece in Sanskrit a language which I neither 

speak nor, I told him that I tend to get my best thinking 

done at rock concerts — the louder the better, I wish I had 

been old enough or distinguished enough to have dared to 

disobey orders, I won’t give you what you want which is a 

shocked response (“Oh my! You sexists! Objectifiers!, I’m really 

ready for some spiritual thinking because the rest is day-today 

filler, I’ve had “plenty” of “woman” and I felt like Captain 

Ahab each night I had to “harpoon” her, if a man says “I’ll call 

you” and he doesn’t he didn’t forget — he didn’t lose your 

number, if I don’t get my raisin bran I go completely nuts and 

have to sacrifice a goat or, if it wasn’t for my poetry I never 

would’ve made it through being a teenager, If you can get one 

of the “gravity defying” pens that write upside down even bet- 

287 

[XXIII]

ter!, if you make a list of the last ten years you’ll find that most 

of it doesn’t exist anymore, in a confined opaque world given 

to the ephemeral gratification of desire, in the 11 months 

since their little boy died after eating an undercooked cheeseburger, 

in time you will begin to lose the sense of structure 

only to rediscover it later, inhaling smoke by one’s own action 

e.g. inhaling the smoke of incense etc., it has been a murderous 

day with people demanding that foreigners be handed 

over, it is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the 

trunk of your car, it seems to me that one can’t be revolutionary 

without being clear what one is for, it’s really sick — I 

starve myself all day to the point where all I can think about is 

dinner, Jesus rests a hand on the shoulder of two up-to-theminute 

American teenagers, language terms and forms of 

practice define themselves in relation to the centers of power, 

Let’s just destroy the Internet so that we never have to deal 

with the damn thing again!! Aaargh!!!, Marilyn Quayle: most 

women do not wish to be liberated from their essential 

natures, me after noting similarities between the Jesus arguments 

on the stall walls here, men are like linoleum … lay ‘em 

right the first time and you can walk on ‘em for 30 years, men 

are so honest so thoroughly square eternally noble and historically 

fair, More real estate for me. More room for me to live in. 

Less stupid people driving at rush hour, my therapy-voice tells 

me that there are a million shades of gray between success and 

failure, not since Socrates had the world seen his equal for 

absolute self-control and composure, odes to nihilism but 

without the suicide option — you just have to stay and suffer, 

oh my gawd the hottest guy in like the world is right around 

the corner and heading straight for, one day I got the visor the 

next day I got the blond hair the next day I took the green 

hair, or a very course kind of flummery eaten almost exclusively 

by farm-laborers, particular examples are virtually endless 

[XXIII] 

288

ut major concerns should suffice here, people used to stare 

at me in wonder so I kept my body covered with a thick wrapper, 

perhaps the worse the state of the U.S. the more the writers 

will be shook up to write better, promotional considerations 

and fees paid for by Beverly Hills Century Plaza, racism 

sexism and all those other nasty “isms” will probably last forever, 

Racist opera: isn’t listening to Wagner the same as listening 

to Skrewdriver?, real Cyberpunks don’t shop at Banana 

Republic or the “Mainframe” clothing section at Sears, revelry 

and honesty in a man of low degree are always at odds with 

each other, She found a job. Afraid I’ll lose her. She’s always 

been a flirt. She might find someone who soothes her, she said 

that not making a living from one’s art was an old fashioned 

modernist idea, She told me of her father’s drinking. I unfortunately 

saw the same tendency in her, she told me that the 

books that mean the most to her she keeps on the back of her 

toilet cover, Some people say my work has no value. They find 

a way of saying it’s not literature, someone does something 

apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea, spam 

juice and marshmallows with a topping of Cheez Whiz all in a 

mug of warm Rolling Rock Beer, Summer’s almost over and 

you know what that means? It’s time to visit your tri-state Ford 

dealer, Talking about great victories … what happened to 

Vietnam? Are you Americans still there?, that an Indian 

Rockefeller would be better than an American Rockefeller, 

the agent of a rich zemindar when he goes into the mofussil 

or interior, the contemporary writer today is caught up in a zillion 

molecular desires, the culture tells you that you should be 

thin thin thin then we keep hearing about all these failures, 

the ‘80s revival like the ‘80s themselves is not going to be a 

friendly affair, the Father Son and Holy Spirit are NOT to be 

referred to as Big Daddy and Junior, the Hottentots eagerly 

devoured the marrow of the Kodoo and other antelopes raw, 

289 

[XXIII]

The JZA And His Four Fine Ass Naked Backup Singers Who 

Strip On Stage And Serve Free Beer, the only thing she survived 

on for 132 days was a few sips of water, the other side of 

divorce: coping with your mother as an object of sexual desire, 

the sex act is regarded as a dramatic role a one act play in 

which they are the star, the story of a writing teacher who is 

more concerned with drink and drugs than literature, the vertical 

construction of language and the shaping of ideas by 

power centers, the whole British canon … Byron Shelley 

Wordsworth … the whole bunch of them can blow for all I 

care, there will be someone on the receiving end but it will 

not be the intended receiver, These are the great lost years of 

my father. I will look back and wonder where he was all these 

years, they’re a couple in England who drilled holes in their 

heads and claim to have never been happier, this is my most 

recent social activity since I came out of the refrigerator, “This 

is the sick part where it really spins out of control” she says 

between mouthfuls of pasta, those of us older girls who get off 

on reading Sassy do it as a sort of guilty pleasure, to complain 

is one thing but to have an actual basis for complaining is 

another, We cannot let go of it. So in reality we are not there 

at all. We are elsewhere, we do not have them because it does 

not suit the elite to give the insects too much power, we want 

to get down be loved want attention affection success get happier 

get higher, What the hell will I write? The way I figure it I 

will have to fill 100 pages more, when I get real bored I like to 

drive downtown and get a great parking spot then sit in my 

car, When Jesus went to heaven He didn’t ascend on a cloud. 

He just vanished into Finnair, whether the pitcher hits the 

stone or the stone hits the pitcher it will be bad for the pitcher, 

which reminds me of a story — a Black guy a Chinese guy 

and a Jew walked into a bar, Which would you prefer? So 

where are we now? This is the ever lasting question of a 

[XXIII] 290

thinker, Why do we need government? Why were governments 

created? To protect us from each other, with as much or as little 

involvement that the viewer needs or wants at that particular, 

you can make a lot of people happy simply by telling them 

what they think they want to hear, you just don’t mess with a 

guy who can wrap his penis around his waist and stick it in his 

ear, your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved 

in a surprising manner; 

291 

[XXIII]

XXIV 

A congeries of conflicting theories and guesses accepted by 

some and denied by others, a symbol of the indwelling higher 

self as the opponent and conqueror of the desires, after the 

opening we went to the Museum of Modern Art for another 

opening there, After years of struggle party se nikal jaate. But I 

am a fighter. I don’t need a Bofors, all America Online Users 

are incredibly neurotic pathological liars, All right you’ve 

twisted my arm I’ll bitch. I’m sick and tired of guys with ponytails 

playing their guitars, all you have to have is a little name 

recognition and everyone thinks you’re a millionaire, and it is 

no coincidence that the uniform of mobsters and teenaged 

gangs is black attire, “And things are worse than ever” thought 

the poor child “for I never was so small as this before never!”, 

and this is just probably the beginning — for the past year I’ve 

acted shittier than ever, and to the black folks he was just a 

crazy nigger nobody doubted that he’d pulled the trigger, 

answering machines and voice mail phone tag beeps and 

shrewtones and whistles a zillion phone providers, at the end 

of the class when the announcements were made someone 

stood up and said “Kenny cut his hair”, Barbie — because 

when she gets sick of Ken she can just throw him in a shoe box 

and get another, because soon the hallucinations become predictable 

combinations of what’s really there, being offensive is 

destructive and will not make the world a harmonious utopia, 

compared to what we’ve seen in the past the rate of evolution 

is going to be much slower, cutting open battery farmed 

292

chooks breast meat and squeezing out a good coffee cup full 

of tumor, Do you think that’s the kind of thing that Johnny 

Rotten was talking about when he screamed “No Future?”, 

don’t look like a bra feel just like a burger don’t look like a 

slip skirt I feel just like a poser, Downy oachen fo’ a cake hon? 

In other words do you want to go to the shore for a coke 

dear?, draw the outline of a hacksaw and people will give you a 

fortune in disposable razors, for the past two years the drama 

of Woody and Mia’s breakup has been played out in newspapers, 

Frank Sinatra. Sure he’s falling over himself on-stage. 

Sure he can’t remember his lyrics. Sure, he even won some 

prizes but that he says was because there was only a few competitors, 

He needed a beer. His skin was like sandpaper. His 

eyes molasses. He was sticking to the air, he told us out of the 

blue of his childhood and the unexpected suicide of his 

father, he who does not expect will not find out the unexpected 

for it is trackless and unexplored, Hindu Taoist Mormon 

spill theirs just anywhere but God loves those who treat their 

semen with more care, How can you say my reign is over and I 

don’t have any draw at the box-office anymore?, however there 

is no person who has only 10-percent of the Japanese body 

odor, “I always stop when I hear hourly church bells” he said. 

“For the present moment it makes us aware, I am the demon 

who rots in the corner of your soul and reminds you of what a 

waste you are, I Dumuzi the king will plough your vulva/Then 

plough my vulva man of my heart/Plough my vulva!, I know 

that it seems stupid now but stick with it — toward the end it 

gets deeper and heavier, I used to have opinions — strong 

ones. I had answers. Now I do not. I cannot find the answers, I 

was always expected to be at the top and if I didn’t win to me 

that meant loser, I was quite touched for it crossed my mind 

that if anyone Kathy would have creamed me for improper, I’d 

go there but I don’t care I’ll go there it’s just to stare let’s go 

293 

[XXIV]

there it’s just it’s fair I’ll go there, I’m afraid you’ll have to go 

off the Prozac before we start dating — it’s making you crankier, 

I’m going to be one of those women who when she gets 

older has to use a Depends diaper, if there’s a pothole outside 

your house you may have to wait a little longer to get it 

repaired, in a world where so much is imitation people now 

value the original more and more, in the little jewelry shop 

we’ll stop and linger as I buy the wedding ring for your finger, 

Is Jack Kerouac this country’s most important critically unrecognized 

modern writer?, Is there any way to make my foot stop 

thumping the floor? Depends on how long my fingernails are, 

it is funny because — well you know this — how popular that 

word is among kids on the street here, It sucks when people 

use “May I help you?” as a synonym for “What the hell are you 

doing here?”, it was the only place I went all week where I didn’t 

see a laminated gavin goober, it wasn’t like it would appear 

it all came down to skin and hair — a racial kind of atmosphere, 

It’s like you want it and I want it so let’s do it. Nobody’s 

doing anyone a favor, it’s only 4:10 and i can’t believe it’s not 

later but that’s okay because there are things here, ladies and 

gentlemen please say hello to our friend Paul Shaffer and the 

CBS Orchestra, “Life’s a gift. What you do with it is your business.” 

said the 83 year-old chariot driver, light in men’s room 

on LIRR so hideous that I couldn’t bear to look in the mirror, 

(like some Viet Nam combat veterans rape and incest survivors 

and Holocaust survivors), longtime figurehead for a dope 

smoking blotter sucking dance-in-the-aisles sold-out hippie 

culture, Make all the noise you want to on the toilet. Other 

people will hear you but it does not matter, “Man what 

Aerosmith song is this?” And the other one was like “I dunno 

but I’ve heard it before”, my aunty Polly Wally’s got a square 

cut punter not a punter cut square but a square cut punter, 

Nirvana’s first album was named after this household product 

[XXIV] 294

A. pesticide B. bleach C. cleanser, no way in hell I can do 55 

fuckin’ bucks but I’ll pitch in if I can crash on your floor, not 

anyone fnord other my unyielding path is yet crossed by the 

lowly Moose of Failure, O the moon shone bright on Mrs. 

Porter/And on her daughter/They wash their feet in soda 

water, one generation passeth away and another cometh but 

the earth abideth forever, one of the major obstacles to true 

enlightenment is an absence of a sense of humor, particularly 

since she wears a placard around her neck on which is written 

the word “LIAR”, play the saxophone underwater and you will 

remember where you left your leather underwear, Reverend 

Rabbi Sammy Davis III Honorary JDL Black Panther Grand 

Jew-Bah, sir I think I wanted to express the duality of man — a 

kind of Jungian thing sir, So if you plan on going to see 

Letterman plan on bringing plenty of cash for souvenirs!, 

stand at the sink with the faucet water barely running and 

make tiny minimalist sculptures, sure absolutely no problem 

you got it definitely (what were we talking about — oh yeah, 

That’s four hundred children with their crap in the fields. I 

mean really who can change 400 diapers!, the creative voice of 

God I heard resounding as Aum the vibration of the cosmic 

motor, the founding principle of government is to keep people 

from hurting each other nothing more, the self is transformed 

into an empty screen of an exhausted but hyper-technical 

culture, There has been something bothering me lately. 

What are those black things under seals eyes — could they be 

hairs?, There’s spiders in my hair! THERE’S SPIDERS IN MY 

HAIR!! There’s spiders in my hair! There’s spiders in my hair!, 

those of us who aren’t unusually horny or obsessive-compulsive 

need something more, Tightfit for heaven’s sake leave 

Yourprick alone! I don’t care if I catch Herpes in the corridor, 

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in $200 a month. 

References required, we must move forward and in so doing 

295 

[XXIV]

dissolve our solitude in great swirls of melt-o-pleasure, we positively 

delight in the lies we tell to sell ourselves to a potential 

employer, we’ve been collecting bodies for twelve days and I 

don’t know whose idea it was to bring them here, What did 

the Governor of North Carolina say to the Governor of South 

Carolina?, What is green-black and yellow and found at the 

bottom of a pool? The same baby three weeks later, when a 

company fucks you and you look for retribution the best you’ll 

get is a form letter, when I took the first survey of my undertaking 

I found out speech copious without order, when my 

grandfather died a year ago they held his wake across the 

street from his favorite bar, When you see Geoffrey the Toys 

‘R’ Us giraffe do you ever get the urge to stick him with a 

spear?, whenever s/he is about to fall asleep ask questions that 

start with “Didja ever wonder…”, while language forces us to 

use the word it ultimately there is nothing to which it refers, 

yes she said she does revise even more so because the language 

she uses is so singular, You know how most packages say 

“Open here”?. What should you do if the package says “Open 

somewhere”?, You thought the Bicentennial was bad. Wait for 

the millennium. It will be your worst nightmare; 

[XXIV] 296

A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler, a beer doesn't get ...

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