28 Controversial Stories From Reddit This Week That Split The Crowd
The great citizens of the internet are always quick to give their opinion whether they were asked to or not. In r/AmItheA**hole, all opinions are welcome as people share their stories to figure out if they're in the wrong. However, sometimes the situations are more complicated than that and it splits the crowd. Here are some of the most controversial stories from Reddit that even made us think twice about who to side with.
Posts have been edited for length and clarity.
- 11,259 VOTES
AITA For Refusing To Lend My Sister Money And 'Flaunting' My Wealth?
From Redditor u/ThrowRA_DaniLex:
I (38F) grew up with my sister (34F) and a single mom (who passed when we were in our early twenties). We were dirt poor and every day was a constant struggle.
I resolved to work hard at school and try to make something better for myself. We grew up in a coastal town and since going to the beach was free, I went there often and fell in love with marine life. I decided to become a marine biologist, and it's what I do today.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the highest up in my sector and I certainly don't make millions. But I'm comfortable and have financial security. My husband has a good, steady job in teaching and we've got a couple of kids, so all in all I'm satisfied with my life and think mom would be proud.
However, my sister is becoming a problem for us. In the past she's asked us for money, and I've always gladly helped her out. She works as a hairstylist and definitely isn't in poverty as we were in our childhood. She has a lovely home and a nice husband. But she's became far more entitled over time in asking us for money, and it honestly ****** me off.
She asks for considerable amounts of money without telling us what she needs it for. When I ask she rolls her eyes and mutters something like, “It's not like you need it anyway.” Another problem is how she acts in my home. She regularly makes passive-aggressive comments about our "big empty house" and asks how much certain pieces of furniture or ornaments cost.
Recently she told me she feels I'm too extravagant with my money, and says I'm "flaunting" my wealth by having nice things. She said that it makes her jealous and prompts her to ask me for money. Frankly the way she said it made me feel like she was blaming me, and I got really annoyed.
Unsurprisingly my sister asked for money in the same breath, and I refused. Since then she hasn't said a word to me but her husband keeps texting to say she's very upset (the extent to which he feels the same way as my sister is unknown to me).
Was I right to put my foot down? Have I unknowingly been an AH by showing off? Were there other ways I could have stayed on speaking terms with my sister besides giving her money?
- 21,587 VOTES
AITA For Expressing To My In-Laws That I Don't Want To Be Their Server For Their Family's Christmas Dinner?
From Redditor u/TravelnPookie:
So, I'm a newlywed, and my in-laws are rolling into town for Christmas and staying [at] my husband's and my new house. They mentioned wanting to dine out for Christmas dinner, but I offered to whip up a home-cooked feast instead. Unfortunately, they turned down the offer.
Now here's where it gets interesting. I am currently working as a server in our town after recently being laid off from my corporate job. Lucky for me, the restaurant is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Well, turns out my mother-in-law had other plans. She called up my workplace without speaking to me beforehand and asked for me to be their server for their entire Christmas dinner. I found out through my husband that I'd be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration, and my Christmas "gift" would be a sweet tip and takeout from my restaurant. Seems a bit odd, especially since our restaurant isn't even open on Christmas Eve or Christmas, and I'd be available to spend time with them on those days. They're scheduling this dinner the day before we close and making it their designated family celebration.
I politely declined because, let's be real, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server? That's a hard pass from me.
Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic and there's nothing weird about me being their server for their family's Christmas dinner. Thoughts, anyone?
- 31,048 VOTES
AITA For Semi-Causing My Roommate's Allergic Reaction?
From Redditor u/Goodbyetour17:
I (20F) am a college student living in off-campus housing with two other girls. One of my roommates, “Jen” (21F), has been extremely difficult for me to live with. She was friends with my other roommate, “Leah” (21F), and we ended up living together.
Among other issues, Jen eats mine and Leah’s food constantly. At the start of the lease back in August it was little bits of food here and there, but now it’s lots of food and it’s happening a lot. She constantly drinks my almond milk and routinely leaves the carton empty in the fridge. She has a history of depression and despite having wealthy parents and… their credit cards, I think she’s too depressed to go grocery shopping, so instead she’s buying food for lunch when she’s on campus for classes, and eating mine and my other roommate's food to supplement. I’m extremely frustrated.
I have confronted her about this three times now, and last week I caught her in the act and immediately called her out on it. She broke down crying and said it would never happen again. I tried to level with her and told her to get Instacart, and even offered to give her a ride to the store (despite her also having her own car). The next day she ate one of my yogurt cups and a $5 cupcake from an expensive bakery in my city that my sister got me for my birthday.
Jen has a soy allergy. She let us know about it when we moved in together, and said she had no problem with us having soy products in the apartment as long as we properly seal the containers after using them. We’ve had soy sauce in the fridge all semester and leftover edamame a few times, no big deal. When I went to the grocery store on Tuesday I decided to buy soy milk instead of the usual almond I’ve bought all year. Mostly because I wanted a change, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t also because I wanted her to stop drinking my ******* milk. The soy milk I bought is from the same brand as the almond milk I usually buy, because it’s cheap and I like all the products I’ve tried from this brand. Needless to say, the packaging looks similar.
Yesterday when I get out of one of my classes, I have five missed calls from Jen. Turns out Jen grabbed my milk as usual and did not look at the packaging (which is insane because she literally opened the soy milk for the first time and had to break the seal), and drank some of it. She ends up having a reaction, using an [EpiPen] and going to the hospital just in case. She’s okay, but she is very mad at me, said this is my fault, and is threatening to call student legal. I told her she’s full of **** and she has no case against me, and it’s her fault for eating food that isn’t hers and being too stupid to read labels despite having an allergy. The tension in my apartment is now at an all-time high and I’m extremely stressed. AITA???
Edit: Calling student legal tomorrow. Going to try and move out…
- 41,499 VOTES
AITA For Canceling My Best Friend's Bachelorette Party After She 'Fired' Me As A Bridesmaid?
From Redditor u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320:
I am a full-time student, so I am currently living off student loans and what little hours I can work outside of school. I have spent around $1K on my best friend's wedding so far ($350 on the bridesmaid dress, $350 on the flight home to attend the wedding as I'm away for school, and about $100 on the gift I sent for her bridal shower).
The [maid of honor] is currently very pregnant and having a rough time. She asked me to plan the bachelorette party. I agreed. I planned it perfectly and had it as a surprise. I messaged the other girls the plan. When they all agreed I went ahead and booked my idea. I spent (this is on top of the $1K I spent earlier) $400 on a limo to go barhopping (the bride loves ba-hopping) and I booked us a $700 Airbnb to crash in afterward. As of right now the other bridesmaids did not chip in; this was out of pocket, but they said they would pay me back later.
About a month later I and two other girls got kicked from the bridal party group chat along with a paragraph from the bride saying we were no longer invited because we weren't "honouring her wishes." When asked, she didn't answer what she meant or what we had done wrong. Two days pass and she adds us back to the chat and apologizes, saying she's just stressed. We all talk about it and made up. Yesterday same thing happened except this time I'm the only one removed with a paragraph going off on me, telling me I'm not respecting her or her wishes, that she wishes she never invited me or asked me to be a bridesmaid. When asked what happened or what I did wrong, again radio silence.
Today she messages me apologizing, saying she's sorry for lashing out and that she'd like me there but not as a bridesmaid as it would make her “uncomfortable,” and that I'm not allowed to wear the dress I had already bought as it's a bridesmaid's dress. I told her I respectfully declined as I couldn't afford another dress as I've already spent too much on this wedding and that I didn't want to make her uncomfortable on her big day. She then lashes out, telling me I should just take more from my student loans to buy a second dress. So with that, I went and canceled the Airbnb and the limo. I told the other bridesmaids what had happened and they agreed it was fair. One of them must have told the bride about the secret bachelorette party as she messaged me telling me I'm an ******* and I've ruined her entire wedding as she now doesn't have time to book a new bachelorette party…, and she nor any of the other bridesmaids have the money or savings to book anything. I also managed to get the refund for my flight, so really I'm only out about $450 for a wedding I'm no longer invited to.
AITA for canceling the party and getting the money back?
- 51,214 VOTES
AITA For Announcing My Pregnancy?
From Redditor u/PastButterscotch3182:
[I] (28F) am pregnant with my husband's (30M) baby. I have a sister (30F) who has been trying to get pregnant for the past five years. This has resulted in three miscarriages and a stillbirth.
When I found out I was pregnant I made sure not to tell my sister, since she was grieving her stillborn, who… passed around a year ago. I told my parents and husband's parents and they were overjoyed. Out of respect for my sister I didn't have a baby shower or gender reveal or any big ceremony - just a lunch where I announced the pregnancy to close friends and family and we all agreed to not tell my sister until we felt like she was ready to know.
Anyway, I am now 34 weeks pregnant and I haven't seen my sister in over six months. She called me the other day to tell me she was three months pregnant and things had been going well so far. I congratulated her and she invited me to her house for dinner. I discussed this with my parents and husband, and we decided it was time to tell her.
I went to her house for dinner this weekend, and when she let me in she freaked out. She asked me if I was pregnant and I said I was. She started sobbing. She was absolutely hysterical. Her husband took her in to calm her down and we decided to leave.
She texted me on Monday saying that it was selfish that I was going to have my baby first and my parents would be more focused on me than her. She accused me of being cruel, and getting pregnant just to upset her. She said she would ask our parents to choose between us. This was the last straw for me. This was my first pregnancy and I wanted to do things like a baby shower and all, but I didn't because I knew it would hurt my sister. I called her a selfish, mean ***** and blocked her. Her husband called me to tell me she was inconsolable because her own sister was trying to upstage her and her baby. Our mom isn't taking sides, but my dad and husband are on my side. A few of my cousins reached out to me, calling me names, and it made me wonder if I'm in the wrong. So AITA for announcing my pregnancy?
Edit: My sister has been in therapy for the past couple of years.
- 61,238 VOTES
AITA For Telling The Mailbox Store Attendant To Go Home?
From Redditor u/Big_Alternative_3233:
My partner and I rent a box at a nearby mailbox store. We do this so that we have a safe place to have packages delivered to, without either of us needing to be home to take delivery or risking theft of packages left at the door. We typically pick up the delivered packages on Saturdays. The mailbox store is open until 3 pm on Saturdays and is closed on Sundays. The store is about a six- eight-minute drive from our house.
Yesterday was Saturday. My partner went to the grocery store and then made it to the mailbox store shortly before 3 pm. He picked up the items that had been delivered for us over the course of the week. He returned home at 3:02 pm, took off his shoes, changed out of his pants, and started sorting through his groceries and the packages. At 3:07 pm he realized that one of the packages was missing. He immediately called the store and the mailbox store attendant answered the phone, despite it being after closing time. My partner asked whether the missing package was still at the store. After a minute or two the employee said yes, he had found it. My partner asked if the attendant would mind staying an extra 10 minutes so that he could go pick up the package. The attendant agreed. My partner thanked him very much and hung up the phone. It was now 3:10 pm.
After my partner hung up the phone, he went into the kitchen. He pulled some items out and began to wash a thermos. I asked him what he was doing. He said was preparing himself a smoothie. I asked him why he would prepare himself a smoothie when he has to get to the mailbox store so that the attendant, who is waiting for him, can give him the package. He says it will only take a couple minutes, and he can take the smoothie with him. He continues to prepare the smoothie and, at 3:15 pm, it appears he is done.
At this point he sits down and starts sipping his smoothie while looking at his phone. I ask him if he is going to go now. He says he needs to put on his shoes and pants. I ask if he is going to put his pants and shoes back on and he says he will in a minute. He continues to look at his phone and drink his smoothie.
At 3:18 pm, without discussing with my partner, I call the mailbox store. The attendant replies and I tell him that, while we thank him for waiting, we are unable to get to the store in a timely manner and he should go home. My partner overhears it [and] tries to tell me to tell him he’ll be there in 10 minutes, but I complete the call without doing that. My partner calls back but there is no answer. He quickly changes into his pants, puts on his shoes, rushes to the car, and drives to the mailbox store. By the time he gets there the attendant is gone. My partner returns home and is angry with me for telling the attendant to go home and also for not asking him to stay another 10 minutes. Now he will have to wait until Monday to pick up the missing package. AITA?
- 71,265 VOTES
AITA For Not Allowing My Sister To Use My Farm As Her Wedding Venue?
From Redditor u/Specialist-Cell-7666:
My late grandpa started his farm whilst he was in his early 20s. There were financial problems along the way, but it became successful, and he became rich. My late grandma who died last year grew up in the average working-class home. My parents come from rich families and went to private schools and ivy colleges. My mother and father always wanted three kids: two girls and one boy. I'm the youngest out of three girls and my parents were desperately hoping their last child would be a boy, but since I was a girl they were resentful to me and they didn't show any love to me and I was pretty much treated like Cinderella.
Because my parents showed resentment toward me, my sisters did too and I was bullied by them and they got away with it. We were treated differently as they both went to private schools [and] private colleges. They were also allowed to do whatever they wanted and eat whenever they wanted. I went to a public school [and] public college, and I was only allowed to eat three meals a day. I don't mind going to a public school, but I'm just trying to show how I was treated differently.
At the weekends I was shipped of to my grandmother's so they could have family time. At age 12 I asked my grandmother if I could live with her and she agreed. As soon as she asked my parents they immediately said yes and started packing my bags. Whilst going to my grandmother's at the weekend she made me work on the farm; even whilst living with her permanently she continued to make me work on the farm at weekends. I hated that I [had] to work on the farms, and looking back now I realised why she made me do it… [S]he made me work on the farm as a source of therapy as I was constantly arguing and her animals were my therapy. I remember spending most of my days sitting with the horses and feeding the chickens. I also spent a lot of time running across her fields.
My grandmother sadly passed away last year and she left the whole estate to me ,which my family wasn't pleased about. I decided to leave my job as a lawyer and work full time on the farm and I'm so much happier. When my grandmother was alive she also used part of her fields for wedding venues and events. She also allowed charities to have events on her farm free of charge.
Two months ago my sister got in contact with me after four years of no contact and said she's engaged and asked me if she could use grandma's field as wedding venue as she would like to get married. The thing is I can't let go of the past and I have started therapy, but I told her I need some time to think about it. My first thought was to charge my sister a price for the venue and make it a price she couldn't afford, but it didn't feel right so I simply said no.
Now she's passed my number on to my parents and my other sister and they're all saying this is my grandmother's farm and she should be allowed to get married on the farm and I should even do it for free. My emotions are pretty high right now and I need to know if AITA?
- 81,136 VOTES
AITA For Not Making My Daughter Give Up Her Room To My Stepdaughter And Grandchild?
From Redditor u/Candid-Zebra1095:
I (37M) have been married to my wife Sadie (37) for four years. I have a daughter, Chloe, of my own from my previous marriage, age 9. Sadie has a daughter, Ace (19), from an ex. Ace hasn’t really been in our lives often; as she lived with her grandparents her whole life [because] the state took her from Sadie when Ace when 7. We still saw her on holidays and tried to reach out.
Ace was living out of state with her boyfriend, but he was recently arrested, so she asked if [she] and her baby could move in with us as she needed help getting back on her feet. My wife and I spoke about it and agreed. When I brought up the extra bedroom in the attic (which is an area in the attic we made into a spare room for guest[s] many years ago and no one uses the attic anyway), my wife became upset - gasped even - and said she was not making her daughter with a 5-month-old baby sleep in the dirty attic. I said obviously we would clean and prepare it, and where else did she suggest she sleep, which is when she told me [Chloe's] bedroom would be perfect.
Chloe's bedroom is very large and across the hall from the bathroom, which Sadie said was perfect. I told her Chloe would not be giving up her bedroom she’d been living in since before I even met her. She got upset and started to plead and said that this could make up for the years [of] loss, and proved [my wife] really loved [Ace] and that she was wanted.
I basically told her no - she could prove that another way… we wouldn’t give up the bedroom. She got angry and said a 9-year-old does not need all that space, and I was picking favorites and not even thinking of the bigger picture, Ace [would] need more room, [it would] be hard for her to go up and down the [stairs] with a baby, etc. I stuck to my answer and my wife slammed the door and went for a drive.
Today she tried convincing me again and I wouldn’t give in and we got into another argument. AITA?
- 9895 VOTES
AITA For Laughing At My Brother-In-Law When His Son Got A Zero On A Project?
From Redditor u/Direct-Juice-2549:
So my child is three grades ahead of my sister's kid. I’m going to call the teacher Mrs. Cat. Now personally I don’t really like her but I do respect her. She is a very no-nonsense women and she will make sure that you learn. She has the highest test scores for years. Very clear in her expectations with parents and that she won’t put up with our ****.
I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I sent her a whole list of question[s] about her class and she literally sent back the PDF of her handbook that I already had and told me to read. Every question I had was answer[ed] in the first few pages. There are other stories about her, but really [she] is a no-nonsense teacher and she truly doesn’t care about the parents' feelings. She taught my daughter extremely well.
Now there is a project where you make a model of some Native American group's home and write a small paper about it. Well, my brother-in-law did that whole project. Mrs. Cat made a quiz about the paper that was written and gave it to his son. Well, son failed it and admitted he didn’t do it.
I saw the email that was sent, and in a very professional way ripped my BIL a new one. His son got a zero and is allowed to redo the project at school. He went in person, and according to him got ripped a new one.
He was complaining and [was] going to take it to the principal, and I started laughing. I told him this [is[ hilarious and I hope he learned his lesson. He’s now ****** at me.
- 101,117 VOTES
AITA For Telling My Parents That My Kids Won’t Attend Christmas If Everyone Can’t Attend?
From Redditor u/Miserable_Horror_980:
My husband was injured when we were in high school (almost 18 years ago now) and uses a wheelchair now. We have four children - his 15-year-old son from a previous relationship, an 8-year-old-daughter, a 5-year-old son, and a 1-year-old daughter.
My parents usually host a big Christmas every year with all of the kids and their families. Sometimes it’s at their home and sometimes it’s at a vacation destination. In previous years it’s always been accessible for my husband, but this year they’ve chosen to have it at a mountain/ski resort that is largely inaccessible and would have a lot of activities that would leave my husband out, so we told them we were going to do our own thing for Christmas this year. No biggie, right? They responded with, “How about you send the kids and you can do your own thing?”
We responded that we wouldn’t be sending our kids and that if we couldn’t all attend, nobody would attend. They’re upset and accusing us of withholding the kids from something that brings them joy, and being bad parents.
Are we TA?
- 11923 VOTES
AITA For Not Banning Strawberries From My Wedding Cake?
From Redditor u/Akiyuu:
I'm getting married next year. I love strawberries and I want some on my wedding cake.
My plan is to have a four-tier cake where the bottom two are completely separate entities with different flavours and the top two are lemon/strawberry.
My mother is [mildly] allergic to strawberries. [She] will have a headache and a mild rash if she eats one but is fine with eating food that has touched strawberries.
She is absolutely incensed with my plan to include strawberries in my wedding cake and contin[u]ously makes passive-aggressive comments about how wedding RSVPs include a section for the guests' allergies and she would never serve something a guest couldn't eat.
I explained to her that she is more than free to eat the other two cakes; they will be entirely strawberry free, aren't even touching the top cake, and more important, my mother has diabetes and won't be eating more than a small slice to begin with.
My fiance agrees she's being selfish.
I'm making this post because I was telling my dad about this issue and she walked in and added that "this is my only daughter's one and only wedding, I want to be able to eat every part of the cake." Haven't been able to close my mouth since from the pure shock… It's my only wedding. And she sees nothing wrong with saying something so insanely out of pocket?
Well, [m]y dad agrees with her, so maybe I'm taking this too seriously and I can skip strawberries for a day? I really don't want to, but I also don't want to make this a big drama. My mom is used to getting whatever she wants and I'm used to my dad siding with her, but I really thought my ******* wedding would be the exception.
- 12830 VOTES
AITA For Trying To Open My Room Door At The Doctor's Office?
From Redditor u/UnbalancedDruid:
I just had an embarrassing situation happen at my doctor's office…
I had a doctor's appointment today at 10 am and an urgent dentist appointment at 11:30 am. My dentist is located about 45 minutes from where my doctor is (relevant to the story).
It's also important to note that if you are even five minutes late for your doctor's appointment at this office, they won't see you. You have to be on time. This is common for most clinics though.
I showed up for my doctor's appointment at 9:50 am. I pay my copay, the medical assistant showed me back to a room, took my weight, [blood pressure], heart rate, and temperature, let me know my doctor would be in shortly, and closed the door.
My doctor is a good doctor and she's thorough and sometimes she goes over on her appointments. It's not uncommon for her to show up to the room 15 or 20 minutes late. It's not ideal, but I'm aware of it and tried to plan accordingly.
I waited 45 minutes for her to come in, but she never did. As I said above, I had a dentist appointment, so I decided to leave. I tried to open the door, but the doorknob is broken. It turns, but the latch doesn't move. So I'm literally stuck in the room. I try the know again, nothing. I tap on the door, and no one comes. I jiggle the knob, nothing. I knock on the door, no one hears. So I try to get it to unlatch on my end by trying to push up on the knob and turn it at the same time, by trying to turn it quickly, and by trying to turn the knob while pulling the door toward me and also pushing it away from me. This made a lot of noise, and somebody started yelling at me to stop from the other side of the door. They opened the door, and there are four of the staff there looking at me like I'm unhinged. I apologized, said I had tried getting their attention by knocking, but no one heard. All I got was, “Oh, we heard, we ALL heard, that was so unnecessary.” Went to the front desk to ask for a refund for the copay since I wasn't seen, and they're all still looking at me like I'm some crazy person.
I don't know. It was very embarrassing. Yes, I was irritated that I waited for so long and no one came. I feel like that's a normal and natural reaction to a situation like this. And this is a known issue with that doorknob. I've been trapped in that room before, but only for a minute. It needs to be fixed or replaced. Seems like a safety issue to me on top of everything else. And not just that, it's triggering for me to be locked in a room from the outside. But was I acting crazy or yelling or pounding on the door or trying to break it down? No.
I don't know what I could have done differently. Wait a few more minutes? Try knocking louder? I'm embarrassed and angry now, and I tried to talk to them when I was there but I really had to get to my dentist appointment, and I feel like trying to go back and explain myself [is] just going to be weird and awkward.
So yeah, AITA?
- 131,155 VOTES
AITA For Telling My Daughter That Either Everybody Comes To Her Birthday Party Or No One Comes At All?
From Redditor u/MangoFlat5137:
My daughter is 11 going on 12, and her birthday is coming up in a few weeks. For her birthday, she wants to go swimming, so we rented the local community center that has a pool and a giant activity room where we’ll have lots of treats and stuff. We asked her to make us a list of invitees so we can get everything coordinated. She asked if she could just invite her whole class of 20 or so kids. It’s a big activity center with lots of room so we said that was fine.
So she goes to the kitchen and about 10 minutes later comes back with her classmate “directory.” Her school puts together a small binder that lists the names of the students by each class, the names of the parent(s), and a phone number and/or email address. She hands it to me and I quickly notice that three names have been crossed out. I asked why, and she said those are the ones she doesn’t want to invite. I started asking her other questions, like if they had an argument, or if they were mean, bullies, etc., and she maintained that no, she just thought they were strange and didn’t really like them. I told her that she can’t just invite the whole class with just three exclusions. She just kind of looked at me and said it’s her birthday. I explained that this could be hurtful to them, and that if she was so staunchly against them attending, then it would be better to have a smaller party and invite just a handful of her closest friends. She said she doesn’t want a small party, she wanted a big party, and I told her then everyone in the class is getting an invitation. She said no, they aren’t, and I told her okay, then no one is and she ran out of the room crying. She has started crying and running away whenever she has seen me since and I’m starting to feel guilty.
My wife was frustrated with me and says that she gets where I’m coming from, but it IS daughter’s birthday and she should only have the people she wants there. I tried to explain that I don’t want our daughter to be a reason these three kids have a crappy time in school. I can’t in good conscience let her exclude other kids like this.
Am I the ******* here? Wife says all we need to worry about is daughter having a fun birthday and I’m already ruining [it] for picking a fight over something no one will remember years down the road, but I don’t agree at all. If they were bullies, that would be one thing. But they aren’t, so to me, it’s cruelty. And cruelty sticks with people.
- 14721 VOTES
AITA For Throwing My Food In The Garbage Instead Of Giving It To My Daughter?
From Redditor u/Slow_Lengthiness8362:
What I did was wrong. I feel stupid. I kind of snapped, I guess. My husband and I have two daughters: 12-year-old Hailie, my stepdaughter, and 2-month-old Hannah. Since I gave birth and up until about two weeks ago, I couldn't keep down any food outside of crackers. It would just make me sick, which the doctors said was because of me adjusting to breastfeeding and that it was normal. So up until two weeks ago, every single hot meal I made was eaten 100% by Hailie and my husband, though I still made myself a portion just in case. Hailie always ate my portion before leaving the table. She would see it set out on a plate for me, that I would try picking at, but as soon as she touched it I would stop picking at it and she would just take over. I spoke to her about it a few times because I won't eat anything that another person has touched. It grosses me out. So she knew. She just didn't care to stop because “it's not like you're going to eat it anyway.” My husband has spoken up to her several times and ultimately told me that I just wasn't making enough food because Hailie was still "starving" after eating her plate and second helpings.
When I was finally able to keep food down again, I started making more dinner to combat the issue. Like I made a big sheet pan of lasagna. Definitely should have been leftovers. But my husband had two helpings and the rest went to Hailie, because right after I made dinner, the baby was fussy and tired and ultimately needed to be fed, so I excused myself to the other room, and when I came back a half hour later, Hailie was forking the last portion out of the pan - using her fingers. So she touched it - I wouldn't eat it.
Or last night, I made five medium-size chicken breasts. My husband had two, Hailie had two, and I had one on my plate. I was eating it slowly, so I wouldn't get sick. Hailie ate her entire plate and then said, "You gonna eat that?" And put her finger directly on my chicken. My husband sent her to her room, but ultimately, I didn't eat it. She knew what she was doing.
Then tonight, I made five cheeseburgers for them (I can't eat hamburger) and two hot dogs for myself. Again, I ended up having to feed the baby directly after finishing dinner. They had eaten by the time I was finished feeding the baby. I make myself up my two hot dogs, and Hailie reaches over and picks up the hot dog, bun and all, and flips it over, puts it back down and says, “Was just checking if the bread was moldy.” [She] then looks up and sees me glaring at her and says, “Oops, sorry, forgot. Guess you're not gonna eat that now, so I can have it if you want.” I took my entire dinner, plate and all, and chucked it in the trash can and walked off. She starts crying to my husband about not meaning to upset me and that she was just hungry. My husband yelled at me for being childish and wasting food and left with his daughter. He said, "Yeah, I get that it's ******* annoying and I reprimand her every single ******* time, but you didn't have to stoop to her ******* level. You're more childish than she is."
ETA: It's not just with dinner that this happens. Even when I was eating nothing but crackers, she would still ask me for my food. She eats multiple snacks during the day, as well as big breakfasts and lunches. She's been to a nutritionist and she's healthy. She has a high metabolism and just constantly wants food - as well as bored eats. Never gains a pound though… She's not overweight. She barely gains anything.
- 15657 VOTES
AITA For Telling My MIL To Take Her D**n Cookies And Get Out Of My House?
From Redditor u/GradesAndCookies:
My twin daughters are both 18 and [took] the SAT last month. The results came back yesterday. One of my daughters, “Laura,” did very well; she got a 1540 and is very proud (as she should be!). Her sister, “Emily,” didn’t do so well. She got somewhere in the low 1300s, and I know that this is still not a bad score at all. But she worked very hard for the test and was really disappointed with her score. She has always struggled more with schoolwork than her sister, who does better without having to try quite as hard. Not to minimize her effort. Laura does work hard as well, but it does come a bit easier for her.
My mother-in-law has always favored Laura, mostly because she does better in school. She won’t show it very obviously, but in little ways. For example, she makes them a birthday cake most years and always writes Laura’s name bigger and first. Emily resents this a bit but doesn’t mind too much, as they rarely see their grandma. Only Laura regularly video-calls her, with my husband.
My MIL called yesterday to ask the girls how they did. Emily said she didn’t want to talk to her (she told me, not my MIL), so I only gave the phone to Laura. Laura said her score and her grandma congratulated her excitedly. My MIL then asked Laura how Emily did. Laura said Emily did “all right.” When I got the phone back, my MIL asked if she could come visit tomorrow to congratulate Laura. I said let me check quickly if anything else is happening tomorrow, and I asked Emily if her grandma can come over to celebrate their results. Emily said that was fine, so I told my MIL she could come.
My husband was at work when she came over. She brought a box of cookies and gave it to Laura, saying she was proud. Emily was standing there too and looked hurt. I asked if she had brought anything for Emily. She laughed a little and said not this time, but she’ll make even better cookies when Emily does her resit. (No one told her she was resitting; my MIL just assumed.) Emily went upstairs and I think she was crying. So I told my MIL very sharply that she can take her d**n cookies and get out. She was shocked and angry but she left. Laura is also upset because she says she earned it, and I’m ruining her relationship with her grandma. By husband says I had no right. AITA?…
- 16853 VOTES
AITA For Calling The Police When The Parents I Babysit For Were Late?
From Redditor u/thebabysitter9:
I (16F) sometimes babysit on weekends. My mom's co-worker needed a babysitter, and she gave him my number. I agreed to babysit three kids from 2 pm till 8.30 pm… [T]he parents had some party to get to.
It went okay. But the parents didn't get back at 8.30. At 9 I tried calling him, but he didn't pick up. I texted a few times. At 9.30 I tried calling again. And again at 10. And 10.30.
I tried calling my parents, but my dad was at a work dinner and my mom didn't pick up. I tried calling the parents of the kids again, but they still weren't picking up or responding.
At 11:30-ish I called the police because I didn't know what else to do. And I was worried something might have happened to the parents too. [The police] came, and around the same time the parents came back. The dad screamed at me, and he's still very upset.
- 17518 VOTES
AITA For Looking When My Girlfriend Asked Me If She Looks Fat?
From Redditor u/AdThink9594:
This is my (18M) first relationship. Her (18) mother bought a champagne dress for her to wear to her aunt's wedding. She put it on and showed me. I told her she looks really beautiful in it, then went back to reading. A couple of minutes later she asked if she looks fat in the dress. I glanced at her, looked for a second, and then told her no.
She got really upset, saying that I should be able to say that she's not fat without looking. I only looked because I wanted to be able to answer completely honestly. Was I wrong?
- 18440 VOTES
AITA For Calling My Sister-In-Law Pathetic During A Family Dinner?
From Redditor u/holidayhilll:
My fiancé, Chris (24M), is the youngest in his family with two older siblings, a brother (31M) and a sister (29F). I (also 24M) have one sister who is nine years younger than me. I don't put much stock into the whole “your birth order determines your entire personality” thing, but I do think it might enhance traits we already have. I've always naturally been a pretty quiet, even-tempered, nurturing kind of guy. I think I would still be all those things regardless; having a little sister when I did just amplified them. Meanwhile, Chris was very much the baby of his family. He wasn't spoiled, just taken care of in the same way my sister is.
I've known Chris's family since we were 16. I've never personally had any problems with them, but I did witness a few fights between him and his sister over the years. The fights were always about Chris being a "golden child" and either getting more privileges/attention than she did, or getting similar privileges earlier in life. I stayed out of it as this was between the two of them. I didn't see the point in stepping into family dynamics like that, especially since I would've been a minor at the time arguing with a woman in her 20s.
This past Thursday night, we left on a weekend trip with his family. We left pretty late Thursday, we had already been driving for a few hours, and Chris gets hot/uncomfortable pretty easily, so he wasn't feeling too great. His dad went through a drive-thru, and as we were sitting in the parking lot eating, I asked if there was anything I could do to make him more comfortable. He had forgotten to unbuckle his own seatbelt, so I did it for him and just told him to relax and enjoy his food. His sister made some sort of comment about him getting coddled, but I took it as a joke and brushed past it.
Fast-forward to last night, while we were out at dinner, it was uncharacteristically warm in the little restaurant we chose. Chris had worn a hoodie with nothing underneath while I was wearing a T-shirt, so we went into the bathroom to switch. It wasn't a big deal until, when we sat back down, his sister said, "Looks like you're still getting the golden boy treatment, huh?"
I'm usually not a confrontational person, but I was annoyed enough by the multiple comments. I said, "It's a little pathetic that you're almost 30 and you're still rehashing the same argument you had when Chris and I were 16 years old." She ended up going to wait in the car while we finished our meal.
It's been tense since then, and while no one has brought it up, I'm not sure if I overstepped. AITA?
Edit: The two examples I gave are not regular occurrences. As I said in a comment, to me these are just instances of me being considerate of my [significant other]. Acts of service is big for me when it comes to expressing my love. He does the same for me (as we all should be doing for our partners!).
- 19467 VOTES
AITA For Giving Away $15,000 Without My Husband’s Consent?
From Redditor u/Heavy_Progress8165:
My (40F) grandma (deceased) raised me to be fiscally responsible. The second I was able to get a bank account she hammered into my head that I needed a bank account that would be secret from my partner. [A]ccording to her, she had a ton of friends who had found lovely men who turned nasty and had to sneak out in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their back. She ingrained in me the idea that a kind husband could turn sour and I needed to make sure I had some protection, just in case.
I’d love to say that she was paranoid, but my mother had to disappear on my dad after finding out he was cheating on her. [S]he has always been thankful that she has what she calls a “Grammy’s Secret Fund” that she had been saving into for years. I’ve been putting money into my own Grammy’s Secret Fund for 22 years and have accumulated a quite a lot. Beyond that account I’ve incurred a great savings with my husband, paid into my retirement fund, and always paid my bills on time.
I’ve been married to my husband for 15 years. He’s always been great, but my best friend hasn’t been so lucky. She met and married a man who seemed to be wonderful, but over the past six years has become emotionally and financially abusive, racist, and completely negligent toward their two children. I was shocked, as he had seemed so great in the beginning, but I’ve witnessed his absolute abhorrent behaviour over the past few years myself.
For a little backstory, my best friend has been so since I was 6 years old... She is my person and I think of her kids as my kids. She has never asked me for anything. But she told me that when she left [her husband] he froze her out of their accounts and she had nothing for rent or to pay for a lawyer. She had been paying into their accounts for years, but she trusted him to have his name as the only name on them and he had drained their accounts. Without a second thought, I transferred her $15,000. I told her I honestly don’t care if she ever pays it back.
When my husband asked about how she could afford a new apartment and a lawyer, I explained, and he hit the roof. First, he was enraged that I had saved into a secret account, and second, that I would just give away that amount of money. We have never really struggled financially, and I’ve always made more money than him, so I don’t know why he’d be so upset. [B]ut [n]ow he’s saying he would have stressed a lot less knowing that I had that kind of money at my disposal. He’s told his side of the family and they’re saying I’m an *******. Am I an *******?
- 20404 VOTES
AITA For Proving That My Wife Can’t Do My Job?
From Redditor u/Tall-Common2274:
…This issue started when my wife left for a week for a girls' trip. The kids are in all in school and I took over as the main caregiver when she was gone. It went well and when she came back she asked if I had trouble. I told her no and everything went smoothly. This started an argument about how I thought it was so easy that she was a stay-at-home mom. It wasn’t a good time, and I already was pushing her to go back to work [part time] since the kids were in school.
We have talked about her [starting to look] around summer. The issue now is I work from home twice a week, and every time she sees my screen or I complain about work, she tells me she can do it. I have talked to her about it and nothing changes…
So she won’t stop, and I had enough of it today. I was trying to figure out why there was an error in my code. She saw what I was doing and told me she could do that. I told her to go ahead, [and] made a copy that she could work on. Well, she tried for about five minutes until she gave up. I reiterated that if she can do my job, find the error.
This started a huge argument about making her look like an idiot, and now she isn’t talking to me.
- 21356 VOTES
AITA For Telling My Sister-In-Law That If Her Service Dog Can't Ignore Children, He Isn't A Service Dog?
From Redditor u/Few_Marionberry8502:
I have two kids, 11M and 9F. My sister-in-law has a service dog who has been with her for about six months now (he is 18 [months old]).
It was my son's birthday party last weekend, which she was at, and [I] obviously had a whole ton of young boys running riot around my house. My daughter also had two friends over (younger siblings of the boys), as well as… pets. All in all there [were] nine children, three dogs, and a cat causing chaos. At one point one of our rabbits escaped and was running around too.
My sister-in-law's dog couldn't cope. He was so excited and wasn't paying any attention to her. My daughter and her friends said hi to him but otherwise left him alone. He was losing his **** the whole time and my sister-in-law had to leave.
My son was a little upset, but overall didn't mind, [and] just asked [if] she could come over for a mini birthday.
Yesterday was that “mini birthday.” It was much quieter, just the family, and the dog was still losing it. He was jumping around and she wasn't able to control him. She had a flare-up, which he ignored.
She got quite frustrated and asked my children to leave the room. They did and he finally calmed down. They came back in and [the dog] got excited again.
The kids weren't comfortable, so they went to play, and we had a conversation. I basically said if she can't control him I don't want him in my house. She replied that he's a service dog and goes everywhere with her, so I'd essentially be banning her.
I said that he was a **** service dog as he'd ignored her flare-up and wouldn't listen. She then blamed my kids, saying my daughter had got him excited last time and now he thinks that kids mean “playtime.”
I told her that if her service dog can't ignore children while working, he's not really a service dog.
She got upset and left, saying she was uncomfortable with me. Later on my husband pulled me aside and asked me to apologise because I'd hurt her feelings. I said I didn't think an apology would be worth it because I'm not sorry - I meant what I said. He told me he understood but that it's a b*tchy move to not even try to apologise.
She then texted me and said that [the dog] had a "situation" with a child when he was in training, but she is paying out money to get him retrained.
I don't know what the situation is, but I do feel bad. I think she was trying to use my kids to socialise him and it hasn't worked, and I feel much worse.
I haven't yet responded, because I do still somewhat stand by what I said, but I also feel awful about making her feel so insecure.
AITA?
- 22409 VOTES
AITA For Wanting To Wear Pajamas/Baggy Clothes While Going Out In Public With My Boyfriend?
From Redditor u/Head-Ad-5624:
So for context, [I] (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) were going out to a shopping center about a week ago. This area is popular and it's always decorated beautifully festive for the holidays… I thought it would be cute to wear those red flannel/plaid… pajama pants with a regular black hoodie. Something about it being Christmas made it seem charming. I ask[ed] him what he thought of the outfit, and he immediately said "no." I was a bit surprised.
He says he believes pajamas are only to be worn in the house, and to wear them in public tells the world "I have no self-respect." I was surprised again and told him I've got self-respect, and just thought it'd look cute. He then says it'd be disrespectful to him if I wore them out while with him… I tried to understand from his perspective. I ended up switching to a more acceptable option: gray sweatpants.
Fast-forward to last night. We were already upset sharing our feelings about a different topic, and eventually he brings up the pajamas again. I still cannot believe we're talking about the pajamas, so I am completely stunned and ask something along the lines of, "Are we seriously still talking about that outfit I wanted to wear?"
Then he tells me about how it's not just that outfit, and that many of my clothes are baggy and too big for me, and how I look completely dwarfed by my clothes when they don't fit my form. Lots of my casual clothes are T-shirts that are too big for me (they're M, I'm XS-S and even the ones in my size look big because I'm a small girl) and some color of sweatpants. I never thought anything bad about my baggy clothes until this conversation. He says he knows I have better, really cute and well-fitting outfits, so it comes off as lazy and me not caring about what I look like when I leave in bigger clothes.
Some quotes from him last night:
"I want to show you off and be proud to be next to you, but it's hard when you don't put any effort into your appearance" [and] "I want you to look good, if not for yourself then for me."
I understand why he didn't want me to wear pjs in public and I respect it, but he also just called out like 50% of my wardrobe. When I don't wear those clothes, I have dressed [in] a skirt, jeans, joggers, and some slacks. But like 75% of my regular shirts don't hug my body at all. I love this man. I want for him to feel comfortable being seen with me. It's just that this hurt my feelings, mostly because I didn't know he felt this way about my casual wear.
Am I just being insensitive or lazy? AITA?
Edit: This wasn't a date. We were out running errands and he wasn't dressed up. We've been together over four years. I've always worn generally looser clothes and he's never brought this up before. Yes, I am American; he is too, but he lived in Europe [and the] Middle East for a long time as a kid.
- 23333 VOTES
AITA For Paying To Send My Kid To Private School Behind My Ex-Wife's Back?
From Redditor u/crottesdenez:
Our son is 8 and has an incredible curiosity about the world. His first- and second-grade teachers gave nothing but glowing praise in regards to both his intellectual growth and his demeanor. However, his third-grade year has not gone well. His teacher has sent us several emails stating that our son does not pay attention in class and is cold toward his classmates. When his mother and I asked him how school is going, he tells us he hates it. He said, "All the teacher does is yell at the class to stop talking, then the kids keep talking and we never do anything and I hate being there." I can see the light fading from his eyes every day, and every Sunday night mid-September on he cries because he doesn't want to go to school.
My son lives with his mother and spends weekends with me. We all live in the same town, and I would describe the relationship between his mother and I as cooperative, but bad feelings persist. I asked my son a few weeks ago if he wanted to change schools, and he responded "God, yes." I asked his mother if she would have any issue with me sending him to a highly regarded private school about 17 miles from our town. She reacted in a way that was not expected. She said I was being ridiculous and that it would be an undue burden on her to take him to a different school (fair), and it would be unfair to her other children if only one of her kids got to go to private school. I added that I would take him and drop him off every day and pay for it 100%, and she still said no. I told her I don't want our son to waste his potential, nor do I want to fail him as a father. In essence, she responded that our son is just being a brat because he's bored.
I registered him at this school and paid the tuition. He starts in August. I told him what I had done and he was elated. Naturally, upon hearing this news his mother was apoplectic. All I said was, "Fine, you tell him he isn't going because you think he's a brat."
AITA?
- 24299 VOTES
AITA For Kicking Out My Friend And Ending The Party After She Fed My Dog A 'Treat'?
From Redditor u/watermusicman:
I (28F)always knew that when I can live alone, I wanted to have a dog. When I moved, I had that opportunity in the form of a relative's pet that needed to be rehomed. She was already very old (13), deaf, and generally needed a lot of attention. It's been a year and I love this ******* dog… [S]he truly changed my life. I am absolutely an annoying dog mom.
She is also very allergic to something that her vet and I are trying to figure out... It manifests in dry flaky skin that she will [scratch] hard enough to bleed. We're trying a food allergy trial. This means she is on a very specific diet of a prescription dry food until a trial period of eight to nine weeks is over. If she does get something off-menu, we have to start the trial period over. Most of my friends know this because I always complain how expensive the food is.
Cut to the party: I invited a few close friends around to my place for a holiday shindig. Living far away, work, etc., usually keeps us apart, so I was super excited.
I ordered us McDonald's (we all agreed beforehand to split a big order because why the **** not), and made a ton of jokes to my dog about how “None of it is for you young lady!” in front of everyone. I'll admit this was a thinly veiled reminder for everyone else too. The food comes and we're all having a good time.
I step away to find my friend (25F) dropping a piece of fish fillet for my dog to gobble up in the kitchen. I freak out and ask her what she was doing. Again, my dog is deaf so she just keeps pawing my friend for another piece, which she gave her, saying, "But she's so cute! A little piece of fish can't hurt."
I'll admit it, I kind of lost it. We were six weeks into the trial and now I would have to start all over, buying so much more expensive food. I'm sure I yelled and cussed at her. I don't really remember. I saw red. I do remember telling everyone that I'm sorry, but I'm too angry to enjoy or host a party right now and asked everyone to leave. I told them to also feel free to take the remaining food and don't worry about paying for their shares since I'm the reason the party is ending early.
The next day I apologized to my friend for yelling. She seems very hurt and isn't very open to continuing the conversation. She says she honestly forgot and didn't see the harm. To be fair, fish was on the list of things I don't suspect she is allergic to and may have mentioned that to the group. Also, my dog… is on other medications that stop any harmful reactions to off-list foods. At most she'll get flaky skin, but not super itchy or upset stomach or anything.
My friends overall seem pretty split. Half the group thinks I'm justified and aren't upset with me ending the party, knowing how much I care about my dog. The other half thinks I'm overreacting over a piece of fish.
- 25287 VOTES
AITA For Leaving Thanksgiving Because My Partner's Creepy Brother Was There?
From Redditor u/Unlucky_Cobbler_3572:
I (F25) and my partner (M26) have been friends for a few years and started dating more seriously early this year. This was the first time he's invited me to Thanksgiving - he called it a Friendsgiving when he pitched it. His parents, who I adore, were hosting it, but it was mostly their friends and his friends, not extended family - as he put it. I guess for whatever reason I assumed his brother wouldn't be there.
I've tried really hard to be nice to his brother. He has always creeped me out with staring, hovering, etc., but he reads as neurodivergent (I think he's diagnosed ADHD but it seems a lot more severe to me). But I tried to be nice. Then last year, my partner asked if his brother could come with us and our friends on our big summer Renaissance fair road trip, and I told him how I felt uncomfortable around [h]is brother and didn't want him to spoil this trip (in nicer words than that), and my partner assured me he wouldn't. He... kind of did. I felt like I was babysitting a little kid for most of the trip, but whatever… [A] few weeks after that… my partner posted something on Instagram and his brother commented, and I went to snoop on his Instagram as one does - and saw that he'd drawn a bunch of p**nography of me while we were on our trip. I mean very obviously of me. I brought it up to my partner and he mostly seemed to brush it off? I didn't exactly say how uncomfortable it made me, but I also don't feel like I should've had to spell that out!
I've been pretty clear that I don't want to be around his brother after that. I've had dinner with him and his parents occasionally, but his brother usually either isn't there or stays up in his room. He might come down to get a plate of whatever we're eating and pass by, but he never stays, I thought because my partner conveyed to him that I'm not okay with being around him.
Anyway. Friendsgiving today. I was honestly having a blast. I got up early and spent all morning making side dishes. I was enjoying spending time with our friends and his parents. And then his brother turns up. And gets sat at the "kids'" table with us, right next to me. It isn't even that he was there, but that my partner didn't feel inclined to warn me or make sure we weren't [seated] together or anything.
I feel terrible now, like I overreacted, but I just got up to leave. I went over to his coat and got the keys, and when he asked what I was doing, I might have raised my voice a bit and told him he could either spend time with me or his creepy *** brother. Which was… maybe not the thing to do in front of this whole 20-person gathering. We also drove together, so I kind of left him stranded, but he WAS at his parents' house with his side of the family and we live nearby. Someone probably gave him a ride. I went to my sister's about 40 minutes away. He hasn't tried to call or text me.
Did I overreact? AITA?
- 26187 VOTES
AITA For Having Both Dairy-Free And Dairy Food Options At Thanksgiving?
From Redditor u/No-Letter6330:
I hosted Thanksgiving at my home this year. We have several lactose-intolerant family members, one of them being my son’s husband, so I made some recipes using oil or olive oil “butter” over real butter, or using Lactaid milk so it would be safe. I made sure to put the dairy-free items apart from anything with regular milk and butter by having a separate small table for those dishes.
My son-in-law ended up feeling very ill and my son brought him to the ER that night. Even though I used safe ingredients, he still had a reaction to something unknown in the food. My son rang me up from the hospital asking what was in the dishes at the dairy-safe table. I told him I used oil, vegan butter, and Lactaid. He was upset with me because I put milk into the mashed potatoes. I told him again I put Lactaid milk so it would be safe.
My son-in-law is recovered and doing well. My son, however, is quite upset with me and claims he cannot trust me to cook food for them again because I “mislabeled” the food. He is claiming he has told me many times about his husband’s dairy allergy, and I agree he has, which is why I made separate food. It is now to the point where the family doesn’t want me to make any dairy-free dishes for Christmas because I am “failing to understand.” Instead, they have all agreed my sister-in-law will make some of those dishes while my son and son-in-law will make the rest.
I am beside myself because I love to cook for and feed my family. I feel I am being displaced when what happened on Thanksgiving could have been caused by a reaction to anything.
Edit: I understand my mistake now. It was an honest confusion. Of course I have apologized, and will again, to my son-in-law. I'm not sure why anyone doubts that. They do not want me to pay for his EpiPen or hospital visit. All they want is for me not to prepare food for my son-in-law any longer, which I understand now. I feel horrible I didn't look up the Lactaid, but I honestly thought it was safe. No, I didn't try to murder my son-in-law.
- 27251 VOTES
AITA For Not Wanting To Eat Street Food On Vacation With My Wife?
From Redditor u/Glass_Tear_2525:
Okay, so me and my wife are currently on vacation to her home country here in Southeast Asia and she really wanted to take me to a street food stall, which I would normally never eat at, but she convinced me to go with her. When we got there it was really unhygienic, like the guy wasn't even wearing gloves or anything, so I refused to eat it 'cause, well, who knows were his hands have been.
This cause[d] my wife to be mad at me for being to[o] "posh" and refusing to eat something ‘cause the guy wasn’t wearing any gloves, which she claims is perfectly normal. She brought up a couple other times I refused to do things with her 'cause they weren't up to my normal standards. However, I think I was correct in this specific scenario ‘cause, well, I’m not eating food that some stranger without gloves or running water cooked.
So AITA?
- 28313 VOTES
AITA For Going On A Preplanned And Paid-For Vacation After My Boyfriend's Father Passed Away?
From Redditor u/missedfuneralaita:
My boyfriend (30M) and I (28F) have been dating for four years and have been living together for the past 18 months. Our lease is up at the end of this month and we were hoping to have purchased a house by now, but that didn't happen. So we decided to just renew our lease and keep the house hunt going. I've also had a very stressful year career-wise, so this fall a few friends and I booked a girls' trip to Mexico for a yoga/wellness retreat. We are leaving next Thursday and we are all really looking forward to it.
The week before Thanksgiving, my boyfriend's dad unexpectedly passed away. My boyfriend immediately flew out to be with his mom and siblings. He ended up staying there for Thanksgiving instead of coming home, which I completely understand. Due to the holiday and scheduling conflicts with other relatives, the funeral wasn't scheduled until the Friday after I leave for my trip. When he told me the date of the funeral I reminded him that I would be gone.
He asked if there was any way I could reschedule the trip or get a refund and I told him I would look into it. But the trip was booked through a group rate and was 100% nonrefundable. And none of my friends wanted to go through the hassle of rescheduling, which sucks, but I get it. I saved a lot of money to take this trip and really need the escape, and if I cancel I don't get the money back at all.
I explained all of this to my boyfriend, and he asked me what I was going to do. I apologized and told him that I think I am going to go on the trip because I don't want that money to go away for nothing. All of this was over the phone because he was still with his family, and he told me we would talk more when he got back.
When he came home we talked more about it and I apologized so many times when I was explaining why I was still going on the trip. He seemed to understand and told me it was fine. But when I asked him when we were going to sign the papers to renew our lease because I want that done before I leave, he said he's not doing that anymore.
He said that he came back to figure some things out at work and then he's flying back for the funeral and will be staying with his mom while they figure some things out. I asked him why he didn't talk to me about this first, and he said that he's talking to me about it right now. He said his mom needs help so he's going to stay with her.
I asked him what I am supposed to do about a place to live,and he told me to figure it out with my friends on our vacation. I told him that he's putting me in a bad situation and that he seemed fine with me going on the trip and missing the funeral. He said he wasn't going to beg me to cancel my trip and that I made that decision on my own, so he's making this decision for himself.
I told him he's being an AH and should have talked to me about this first. He said I'm the one who prioritized drinking on a beach over being at his dad's funeral, so if anyone is an AH here, it's me.
