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Bleeding Chaos: a Secret Baby, Rock Star Romance (Love & Lyrics) Hardcover – February 28, 2023

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 899 ratings

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Gage

I lost my first love. This time, I'm going to win the second girl who owns my heart—no matter the stakes.
Being the drummer for Raging Chaos is the only thing that’s kept me going for the past six years. Even the music isn’t enough to drown out the guilt that's been suffocating me since what happened to Tori.
When Sadie storms into my life, ripping through my trepidations, sorrows, and bitterness, I can't help but wonder if she could be my second chance.
I could love her, but in order to do that, I have to stop hating myself first.
Easier said than done. Before I have the chance to mend this broken heart, I push Sadie away and hit rock bottom.
The next time I see her, she has a baby. And if that's not hurtful enough, it's not just any baby.
It
’s my baby.

Sadie

Bleeding hearts can still beat. I'm living proof of that.
At first, Gage was just someone to take away the pain—until I realized he was battling demons of his own.
I never meant to get too close to the devil with the drumsticks, but once I did, he shoved me out of his life with a force.
My heart might be cracked, but his is completely broken. And trying to save him would destroy us both.
So, I do the right thing and I walk away—not only to protect me but also our unborn baby.
I had no idea who Gage was to the world when I slipped into his bed. Now that I'm out of it, it's clear he’ll have to clean up his act before he’s father material.
But then we meet again, and I'm reminded of the man he could be.
The man he was born to be, before tragedy struck and the chaos left his heart barely beating.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Like real life, the characters are far from perfect, make morally gray decisions, and deal with subjects that may be sensitive for some readers. If you are looking for a safe romance, this series is not for you. Trigger warnings (which contain spoilers) can be found on my website.

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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0BW344W7Y
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published (February 28, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 287 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8379279585
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.5 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.84 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 899 ratings

About the author

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Nikki Ash
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Nikki Ash resides in South Florida where she is an English teacher and mom by day and a writer by night. When she’s not writing, you can find her with a book in her hand. From the Boxcar Children to Wuthering Heights to the latest Single Parent Romance, she has lived and breathed every type of book.

While reading and writing are her passions, her two children are her entire world. You can probably find them at a Disney park before you would find them at home on the weekends!

Connect with Nikki!

Facebook: www.facebook.com/authornikkiash

Reading group: www.facebook.com/groups/booksbynikkiash

Instagram: www.instagram.com/authornikkiash

Website: www.authornikkiash.com

TikTok: TikTok.com/@authornikkiash

For any questions or concerns, please email: authornikkiash@gmail.com

Professional Inquiries:

I am represented by SBR Media. For inquiries regarding foreign rights, audio, and other media outlets, please contact Ena Burnette.

Ena@sbrmedia.com

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
899 global ratings
DO NOT Miss This Book!
5 Stars
DO NOT Miss This Book!
“𝙎𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙢𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧. 𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙠, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜.”The story I have been patiently impatiently waiting for since the first Love and Lyrics book is finally here. And what an emotional doozy it is!I just knew Nikki Ash was saving the most angsty and heart wrenching for last! Oh my poor heart was in so much pain for Gage already but then Sadie just wrecked it tenfold. I was reading with my hand on my heart like Nikki no more. Gage had all the love and support from his found family but it wasn’t enough to keep away the internal demons he fought daily.In one day, Sadie’s life changed irrevocably in the most heart shattering of ways. She and Gage met when they’re at the lowest point in their lives. They were both two broken souls who found comfort in each other while they drowned in their shared griefs.“𝙄’𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩, 𝙎𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙚, 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙩 𝙖 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣…𝙄’𝙢 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩.”When they first met, neither Sadie nor Gage was emotionally equipped to handle anything more than the surface level solace they shared. Yet, below the surface, feelings developed, terrifying and unexpected. While Sadie had a reason to bring her out of the dark, Gage still was in a tailspin. It took incredible strength and courage but Gage brought himself out the darkness. I applaud Nikki for not only her amazing mental health and positive therapy representation but the message of how you are the only person who can save you. While having the love and support of your family is an indescribable gift, it’s you who must take that first step towards recovery. I also saw the challenge and bravery that comes along with taking that first step. It is not an easily accomplished feat. Nikki truly made me feel the struggle Gage went through in his desire to overcome his addiction. My emotions were all over the place during my read. I’m talking every single feel.“𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.” - Maya AngelouGage and Sadie truly embodied this quote because after everything they’d been through, they had every reason to give up on love but instead they gave in and I absolutely lived to see that.To say their story consumed me is an understatement. It was an amazingly beautiful one of resilience, growth, self-triumph, grief, love after devastating loss, and just so much more leaving me with the warmest feeling in my heart and tears brimming of joy.What a phenomenal ending to this emotional journey of a series. It’s so bittersweet to say goodbye.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2024
I bought this book on 3/25/23...exactly one year ago!! And all I can say is...MIND BLOWN!

I'm going to say there is no middle ground for this book. It was definitely heartfelt. My heart broke for both Gage and Sadie. For his loss wth Tori. And her loss for her family. With Gage in rehab...now we know why he didn't call/or accept calls in Total Chaos. This book really put things into perspective. The heartbreak both of them went through, no one should ever witness. But I am super proud of Gage for doing what he needed to get better. And for Sadie- for finding the healing she needed.

The only downfall for me is that after Gage was with Sadie, romantically, he actually brings two women home and sleeps with them to make Sadie leave. The part that makes me think...is...if he didn't remember to use a condom with Sadie and gets her pregnant, how did the other two not get pregnant. I am pretty sure he was too messed up to wrap himself with them as well. Maybe my age is showing. Oh and Tori was pregnant before she passed too. Just another observation.

But I did like Gage. I did like Sadie. And it was nice to see they were human. And they both actually had real human issues. And it was really nice to see both of them hit rock bottom and fight their way out. I can't imagine both of their losses. And I hate to say it was nice to read about them. But I'll admit it was significant and meaningful. I was satisfied with their journeys. It really put things into perspective and it made me smile that Gage felt he needed help. And not only did he find it with the guys, he also found solace with Sadie. Both Gage and Sadie were broken to the extreme. Both lived a devastating nightmare. And both came out on the other side alive and full of life. Talk about the ultimate healing read! This was the one to top it all.

It feels weird saying I enjoyed this read because I don't want to ruin the ambiance and the characters journey to finding love. But for all intents and purposes...it was excellent.
Reviewed in the United States on March 24, 2023
4.5 stars
Let me start by saying Nikki Ash has easily become one of my favorite authors. Rarely do I read one of her books and not come away smiling.
Bleeding Chaos is probably one of her best books. Ever. Having read not only the Chaos series but A Chance Encounter(a personal favorite), I was very familiar with the story. I’d had a suspicion that Gage’s book was going to be incredibly emotional but I was not prepared for the overwhelming emotions I went through reading his and Sadie’s story. PLEASE check the warning because the first few chapters are devastating. Once Sadie and Gage reunite after dealing with their demons, you find yourself wanting to support and love Gage, but also fulling supporting and agreeing with Sadie’s choices. There so many emotional moments. At one point I had to put the book down and take a few breaths because I tearing up at something Gage had done for Sadie. Their love story is a very unique journey. The spice is always a bonus but this time, you FELT their intimacy and honest connection with their traumas effecting them. Sadie and Gage are such devoted parents to Rory, their miracle girl, you will absolutely take in all their happiness. They are one of those couples you hear about and think “Wow, they deserve everything good that happens to them.” Overall, this has moved into one of my favorite Nikki Ash books and while I don’t think it’s the love story for everyone, it’s the love story for the right ones.
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2024
Bleeding Chaos is the fifth book in the Love & Lyrics Series. It is a secret baby, second chance, rockstar romance that features Gage and Sadie’s emotional and healing journey to love and happiness.

These two characters simply broke my heart. So much sadness and loss. How much sorrow can two people take? They find solace in each other, but in a not so healthy way, and when they part ways, it’s in a very hurtful way. But when they run into each other some time later, quite a bit has changed, including a big surprise. Can they make the best of their second chance?

I had an immensely hard time putting this book down. I loved the story and its characters so very much. The writing, flow, pace, storyline, storytelling, characters, character development, relationship development, and world building are all terrific.

I’d absolutely highly recommend this book and series and am very excited for more from this wonderful author.

Top reviews from other countries

Kristina
5.0 out of 5 stars I cannot recommend this series enough.. Sooo good! 👌😍
Reviewed in Canada on February 20, 2024
I was really looking forwards to Gage's story. And it did not disappoint 😅 I devoured this series in just a couple of days. Thats how good it is. Totally addictive and impossible to put down. Truly amazing! Its spicy, some times sweet and a whole lot heartwrenching moments but totally worth the emotionnal rollercoaster. Loved every minute start to finish. Perfect ending too 🥰
Must read this series Now!
Enjoy
Wendy J. Williams
5.0 out of 5 stars I am late to the Raging Chaos story but I am glad I got here
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 8, 2023
This series has been my first from this author and is a great read, I will be looking for more. Gage is the drummer for a world famous band, Sadie just a girl trying to escape her past and live the best life she can.
Gage and Sadie fall into each other through tragedy, both having lost loved ones. They spiral into a desperate and dark need for each other and Sadie is the first to realise she can't go on living this way and leaves. Gage continues to fall further into the drug induced hell he has created and nearly loses everything.
The two lost souls gradually rebuild themselves and a chance photo brings them together again. Gage is determined to make Sadie part of his life again but she is not convinced she can trust him with her heart again.
This is not the usual "hearts and flowers" love story. It's gritty, tragic and sometimes heartbreaking. This can be read as a standalone but I would honestly say read the series, the story of each band member is present in each book and I personally feel it's a better read if you do.
emjbookshelf
4.0 out of 5 stars Bleeding Chaos
Reviewed in Australia on January 8, 2024
I have been waiting to read Gage's story. He has been through trauma and did not know how to cope with it until he hit rock bottom. Sadie and Gage both healed each other.

This was the final book in the love and lyrics series and this whole series did not disappoint.
Jamie Dawson
5.0 out of 5 stars Dipping her toe into a new trope
Reviewed in Canada on September 25, 2023
This one is the one I couldn't wait to read and it didn't disappoint. I wondered about Gage's story throughout the series and couldn't wait to read his story. Nikki delves into the cheating trope a bit here, though I don't consider it cheating. Sadie's story hurt my heart and had me in tears. This hit every trope I love.
Fishing Wife
5.0 out of 5 stars Gritty read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 24, 2023
This book isn't all hearts and flowers. Sadie is hurting so much, it's heartbreaking to imagine someone going through the anguish she is having to go through. Then there is Gabe also hurting for a love he couldn't save. These two hurt together and survive together, until Gabe takes a sledge hammer to what they had. Sadie walks away and in doing so shows strength and decides to move on. Gabe goes the other way and spirals out of control, his friends stage an intervention, and Gabe works at getting better. Loved whilst they were apart they both gained getting to know themselves . This was a really good read .