Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier (1955)

I guess I should drag myself away from the new love of my life and his awesome submarine and get on with the project.  Grab your coonskin cap and head on down to Tennessee, because it’s time for another major piece of Disney history!  The song’s already stuck in my head.   … what do you mean the first part is called Indian Fighter?!

Disclaimer: This blog is purely recreational and not for profit. Any material, including images and/or video footage, are property of their respective companies, unless stated otherwise. The authors’ claim no ownership of this material. The opinions expressed therein reflect those of the authors and are not to be viewed as factual documentation. All photos are capped from my copy of the movie with InstantShot! unless otherwise specified.

This is just spectacular. I was really hoping to do another package film. This one’s cobbled together out of the three most popular episodes of Walt’s Disneyland TV show, covering the adventures of the legendary frontiersman Davy Crockett. Even while the man was alive, he was the stuff of tall tales, inspiring books and plays about his exploits. He was seen as a hero to the people for opposing Andrew Jackson’s relocation of Native Americans, which gives me a whole lot more hope for this thing. He also fought in the Tennessee militia and died along with everyone else who fought for Texan independence from Mexico at the Alamo.

Surprisingly, considering it was made up of TV episodes the audience had seen already, this film was a smash hit at the box office. This is likely partially because ABC broadcasted the episodes in black and white and this was the first time audiences had seen their hero in color. However, it probably owes more to the insane popularity of the character, and how much people wanted to see his adventures in any way they could. Decades before every surface was decked out with Anna and Elsa and Lightning McQueen, Davy Crockett was the first real merchandising juggernaut. His face was on everything from baseball cards to lunchboxes, but most of all no kid’s wardrobe was complete without a coonskin cap. None of the other legendary heroes Walt introduced on his TV show quite measured up to old Davy. You can still find a fair bit of Davy Crockett stuff at Frontierland in the parks, but more on that later.

I’m not sure if I’m feeling this lukewarm towards this movie because of the Indian Fighter thing or just because it’s not 20,000 Leagues.  But let’s face it. It’s the Indian Fighter thing. These Westerns are going to be rough. Let’s get through this, shall we?

DAVY CROCKETT: INDIAN FIGHTER

Of all the films I was expecting to start with a storybook, this was not one of ’em. Yet here we are, opening up Davy’s own journal. Our first of many choruses of the Ballad of Davy Crockett sets the scene, telling us the year and that General Andrew Jackson’s troops were working on settling a dispute with the Creek tribe. And not gonna lie, my first thought was “greeeeat”. Andrew Jackson was not a good dude. We will see this later. Major Tobias Norton reports in to say they’re low on rations and one of their strongest volunteer soldiers has gone hunting. Jackson is furious because that means this Crockett guy’s traipsing around enemy territory and orders Norton to find him.

Norton finds Davy’s second in command Georgie hanging out by a tree. Georgie gestures to Norton to stay silent because the sounds of growling coming from the woods are, in fact, Davy Crockett fighting a bear with his bare hands. Norton doesn’t believe him and continues to run his mouth, causing the man himself to tumble out of the trees. Davy scowls and accuses Norton of breaking his concentration and stopping him from “grinning down” the bear, whatever the hell that means. He gets out his very small knife but holds off long enough for Norton to tell him the General wants him. Then he dives back in to beat up a bear.

Davy leads the volunteer soldiers back to camp, carrying the dead bear. Jackson demands to know how he managed it. Real casual, Davy replies “with a knife” and then proceeds to explain that he was trying to grin it to death because it worked so well on raccoons. Apparently, he can make animals bend to his will by smiling at them, because not only is he King of the Wild Frontier, he is a Disney princess. Jackson clearly thinks this is nonsense because it totally is. He orders Davy to lead a scouting expedition across the river, mostly just to get rid of him.

Davy agrees and leads Major Norton and a band of regulars and volunteers alike. Norton gets snippy because Davy’s taking them through the wilderness when there’s a perfectly good trail like ten feet away. Taking the trail is a really good way to get killed, but Norton is both adamant and stupid, so he orders all the regulars to go with him. Davy insists on setting up a signal so they can find each other when things inevitably go sideways. To his and Georgie’s great amusement, Norton utterly fails at making an owl noise. But they let him go anyway and continue through the woods, just the two of them.

They find two war parties, looking suspiciously through the trees. Davy recognizes their young leader, Red Stick by name. And that is uncomfortably close to a certain slur that keeps getting tossed around but at least he’s played by an actual Native man so that’s something. When Davy and Georgie leave to report back to Norton, they find the soldiers deep in battle with the Natives. It’s gun versus arrows and the guns are losing bad. Idly, Davy remarks that Norton has royally screwed up. Then they go to bail him out with “the old Crockett charge”. It basically consists of them massacring people who are defending themselves while screaming. The surviving Natives retreat, and Norton wonders how two guys managed to curbstomp most of the tribe.

The company reports to General Jackson that they spotted the Natives doing a war dance. Jackson starts frothing at the mouth about how much he wants Red Stick dead and it’s really uncomfortable and also I hate Andrew Jackson. He decides to move the camp away from the enemy. Davy climbs up a cliff to scout, shanks a Native lookout in the back and tosses another off the mountain. And he reports to Georgie that they’re “accounted for” and I am filled with rage. Jackson gloats like a supervillain that he’s got the Natives surrounded with nowhere to go and he’s sure to get that Red Stick this time. Except the white guys are supposed to be the heroes which… no.

Lucky for the Native, Red Stick spots the intruders. Davy and Georgie target Red Stick while Jackson kicks back and does nothing. The chief gets Davy on his back and the two grapple for their lives. But Georgie stops him from getting scalped because Natives amirite. Davy promises him a kiss from his wife as a reward for saving his life, which… wow dude. The rest of the Creeks charge right at Jackson, even ducking and continuing forward when Jackson orders his soldiers to shoot. They’re genre-savvy and I appreciate that. Major Norton gazes in open-mouthed horror as his guys are rushed. Yet somehow, they manage to slaughter more Creeks than they killed white guys so it counts as a win.

Jackson disagrees. The Major managed to capture three Creek chiefs, and he’s preparing to “negotiate terms of surrender” but that’s not good enough. Honestly, Jackson doesn’t even want peace, he just wants to murder innocent people because Jackson is a horrible person. Davy pops his head in to interrupt Jackson’s genocidal lunacy to say goodbye. He only agreed to fight for sixty days and he’s been here way longer than that, so he’s outie. He’s got a family to provide for and winter is coming, so he’s got work to do that isn’t slaughtering innocent people. The Major tries to stop them by setting up a barricade of men to block the bridge. Davy just says hi and the soldiers cheerfully step aside, asking Davy to bring some meat back to the front when he returns. Norton is apoplectic but Jackson can’t help being impressed by Davy’s audacity.

Back on the old homestead, Davy’s two little blonde-haired moppets screech that their father’s back. His gorgeous dark-haired wife Polly races up to greet her dark-haired husband… and Georgie crushes his lips to hers. She’s horrified, but when Georgie tells her about the whole “saving his life” thing, she’s totally on board and heavily makes out with him for a while. And then she smooches her husband. The way they talk to each other makes me think none of this is unusual for them, either. Polyamory in 1955. Way to go, Disney. If only the rest of this movie was this progressive. Cut to Davy and Polly snuggling by the fire. Presumably, Georgie’s off getting wine or something idk how this works. Davy totally kills the moment by breaking the news that he’s going back to the front after he makes sure they have food for the winter. Polly is horrified and clings to him, begging him not to leave her alone. He drops some exposition about all the stuff we saw already and the brilliant character line: “when I’m sure I’m right, I go ahead.”

Then we cut to Davy and Georgie riding back to camp. This guy is a total deadbeat. Oh, yeah, and the ballad exposits that Red Stick is on the move, burning down every settlement he comes in contact with. I get that you’re the injured party here, man, but more death is maybe not the way to handle it? Our heroes come across a soldier, who tells us that most of the regulars have come down with swamp fever, including Norton. They could really use some backup. Davy and Georgie pay the sick major a visit and find out that the regulars can’t even the Creeks. Scouts aren’t coming back. They’re getting curbstomped. Davy offers the help they so sorely need but the Major isn’t comfortable with two guys going alone. So they go anyway.

As they ride, we find out Georgie is afraid of snakes and alligators. We know this because they encounter some recycled footage of baby alligators from the True Life Adventures. It’s not shot with the same lens or the same colors and it looks horrendous, but it happens a few times throughout the film. And don’t tell me it’s because it was the 50s because 20,000 Leagues did the exact same thing and it looked fine. Anyway, next our heroes find some two-day old footprints by the lakebed. They decide to split up and circle the lake in different directions in search of the tribe. Georgie is the first to find something, but before he can signal Davy he takes a hatchet to the back. Red Stick emerges from the brush and orders his men to take their unconscious captive away.

Meanwhile, Davy tries to signal Georgie but gets no answer. And remember when I said the babies weren’t the only poorly implemented True Life Adventure footage in this movie? Well, here’s the worst of the worst. An alligator slides into the lake to swim. Cut to Davy smacking something just below the frame with his rifle but. Cut again to a completely different alligator thrashing in the water. The idea is Davy stopped the gator from attacking him, but it looks atrocious. I mean, it is hilariously bad. Like I said, I know it’s the limitations of the time but the previous movie did the same thing better. Also, it doesn’t add anything to the plot so it could easily have not been in there. I guess maybe they wanted to show that they could integrate nature footage with footage of the actors? But no.  No, you cannot.

Anyway. After… that… Davy finds Creek footprints dragging something and realizes Georgie is in trouble. Cut to the Creek tribe tying Georgie to a stake. Several of them have taken coats and guns from soldiers they presumably killed. Red Stick interrogates his prisoner by threatening to light the stake on fire, demanding to know where the white soldiers are. Georgie insists that he came alone. Davy throws a rock from the bushes to get Red Stick’s attention, so there goes that bluff. Red Stick is furious, but he lets Davy say his piece because frankly, the white guy was going to talk over the brown guy anyway so any opposition is really just delaying the inevitable. And then… oh boy.

Davy introduces himself as a hunter, just trying to live his life, just like them. He doesn’t want to be a soldier. He just wants to defend his people from a hostile enemy. Red Stick scoffs that this is all white nonsense because it totally is but Davy keeps digging the hole. He monologues about how enough people have died on both sides (which is true) and the white men just want to end this war so there don’t have to be any more grieving widows or fatherless children (which is not true because this is Andrew Jackson). And then he calls Red Stick a bad chief. Red Stick is appalled, but Davy’s still not done. He challenges Red Stick to a duel on the Natives’ terms… lamenting that the white man’s way would be good enough if they’d just try it! I have no words.

Anyway, Red Stick chooses to fight Davy with tomahawks because of course he does. So they fight.  Eventually, Red Stick disarms Davy and pins him to a tree. He prepares to strike but Davy ducks and tries to grin him down. Because it worked on a bear. Am I reading too far into it by thinking this is equating Native Americans to animals? Probably. But they’ve done that before so I’m going to get mad anyway. Anyway, it doesn’t work obviously and the fight resumes. Red Stick strikes again, but Davy ducks and causes the tomahawk to stick in a tree. Davy gets the tomahawk out and holds it to Red Stick’s throat, begging for him to just listen to him. His brilliant negotiations involve promising that he won’t kill him if he just releases Davy and Georgie. He also promises that if he does this one little thing all the Natives can keep their land and the white men will leave them alone.

Red Stick’s reaction is perfection. “Promises no good. White government lie.” Good job, Disney, way to almost be self-aware. But they immediately backpedal into cringey white savior territory. Davy’s the good guy! This white guy’s promises mean something! Really for real this time! For some reason, Red Stick believes this white guy can do something about every white guy around him viewing Natives as animals and shakes on it. They release Georgie and now they’re buddies. Apparently. It’s… okay, it was progressive for 1955, especially when you consider our last depiction of Native Americans in Peter Pan. It’s still pretty condescending though. Through a cynical modern lens, it comes off more like the filmmakers stroking their own egos and insisting that the white guys were the real heroes of the Creek war. Which… no. No sir. Nice try. But what do I know?  I’m white too.

DAVY CROCKETT GOES TO CONGRESS

Exposition tells us Davy went home and spent the winter with his family after his Great Heroics. What we actually see is Davy getting antsy staying in one place and deciding he’s going to find a new place to settle down. And if I was married to this guy I would tell him not to come back but Polly just sighs dreamily and wishes he would just stay with her. Davy asks his boys to look after their mother because even though the older one is like eight being male makes him automatically qualified. All Polly wants is for Davy and Georgie to come back with stories. Spoiler alert: they don’t. They just ride off to Mississippi, passing by more weird out of place True Life Adventure footage. This time it’s bears playing in the river. It doesn’t look any better.

They stop at an outpost to inquire about buying some land. The landlord informs them that a man called Bigfoot Mason is insistent that any prospective buyers win a shooting match. The catch is… the match has already started! Our heroes make it out and this huge tall guy snaps that he got started because nobody else showed up. This is blatantly unfair but everyone’s too scared of Bigfoot to argue. And that is an awesome sentence and I wish the context was different. Davy and Bigfoot shoot it out, and the first shot is a dead tie. Bigfoot’s second shot misses dead center by half a fingernail, but Davy’s is almost half an inch away… or so they think. Turns out his second shot actually struck the first one and bounced off! It’s totally not ripped off Robin Hood!

Davy won fair and square so the landlord takes him back to sign paperwork. This whole second episode is just fascinating. The landlord is ecstatic to meet the Davy Crockett because he can do something about that durn Bigfoot. He’s violently kicking Natives off their own land and reselling it to any sucker who’ll take it. He even ran off the last magistrate who tried to stop him from being terrible. That’s not okay in the slightest and Davy has the decency to see it. He’s already going to teach this guy a lesson, but the landlord promises he can be the new magistrate if he succeeds. Davy has doubts because all he wants is to build a new home for his family… who, by the way, is perfectly happy in their existing home.

But then Davy and Georgie find a terrified Native family hiding in the woods. The father introduces himself as Charlie Two-Shirts. Three of Bigfoot’s goons violently ran him off his land and tore up the deed so they could take it over, so now he, his wife, and children are homeless. This is the catalyst Davy needs to get involved at last, and he races off to confront Bigfoot. The goliath mocks Davy for befriending Charlie because he is a horrible person who considers the family subhuman. Davy steps up and goes, “yeah that’s right, these are my friends” because he’s become a much better character in this episode and I do appreciate it. But Bigfoot says the land is too good for Charlie’s family and he needs a lot of persuasion before he even considers that the Natives have rights. I shouldn’t be this mad because he’s the bad guy and the entire point is that he’s in the wrong but grrr.

Davy is also feeling pretty grrr about this and the two fistfight. The fight choreography here is awful and cheesy and mostly shown through reaction shots by Georgie, Charlie, and Bigfoot’s goons. We do see that Bigfoot fights really dirty, though: at one point he hurls Davy through a fence and goes to beat him with a piece of broken wood. It’s cool, though, Davy’s a good enough brawler that he knocks Bigfoot out cold on a post. The goons aren’t cool with that and one of them raises his gun. Charlie shoots the guy first and wrestles the gun from the other goon because they can’t just kill Davy like that come on. Davy and the others round up the two survivors, and Davy declares they’re going to stand trial.

Cut to a huge party in town, supposedly celebrating peace returning to their town. I gotta say, though, considering the whole problem was that Natives were being beaten up and thrown out, this party is very white. It’s veeeeerrrrryyyyy white.  Thanks to Davy’s brilliant hour of leadership, things have gotten so good that the town has earned a spot in state legislature.   And who else would they pick as their representative but a guy who doesn’t live there who doesn’t want to get into politics?  It’s the obvious choice.  The landlord twists his arm a little bit by saying that the only other candidate is Bigfoot. Now, I’m not sure why anyone in that town would vote for the guy after everything but apparently, it’s a real danger, so Davy agrees to run. Meanwhile, Georgie dances like an absolute dork among this newly-integrated community where white bread and mayonnaise can peacefully coexist. He extricates himself from the merriment and hands Davy a letter.

Davy’s sister-in-law wrote to let him know that Polly died of fever.  She probably wouldn’t have if Davy had been around to take care of her, but he was off being all macho.  It’s okay, though.  The kids are living happily with their aunt and will forget all about Davy as easily as Davy forgets about them.  Seriously, he doesn’t even react to this news.  Georgie looks sadder about it than he does!  Okay, I’ve mentioned my theory on why that is, but it’s still bizarre watching tears well up in Georgie’s eyes while Davy sits stone-faced.  All joking aside, it’s a rather troubling example of that 50’s ideal that men shouldn’t have emotions.  Your wife is dead, man.  At least frown a little more than usual?  Something?  Please?

Even the movie itself doesn’t devote any time to the tragedy of the moment.  The ballad cheerfully croons that he lost his love so he’s happy to serve his country.  There’s a really jarring disconnect between the bouncy melody and the tragic lyrics telling the story.   But there’s no time for an emotional connection with our main characters.  It’s time for politics!  Davy’s the first to admit that he “ain’t shucks at speechifyin’” and he has no idea what he’s doing, but he’s honest and he’s just one of the people. That’s all they really want from him, so when he offers to take them out for drinks they leave his opponent in the dust. And then they get all jacked up on mountain dew. Davy wins the election!

Our victorious hero rides to Nashville, now dressed in his finest Victorian era best.  And man, it is weird to think that fancy frock coats and top hats existed at the same time as pioneers and Manifest Destiny.  But they do.  Our old frenemy Norton pays Davy a visit, all smiles so I guess they’re friends this time.  He also brings news: General Jackson has his eye on the presidency.  Norton’s helping with the campaign, and it might be a good idea for Davy to make a social call.  After all, the people love Davy and that would make him a valuable asset.  So Davy rides up to Jackson’s big fancy plantation manor and they share some old fashioned Tennessee moonshine.  Jackson’s been reading the pamphlets Georgie’s been publishing about Davy’s larger-than-life exploits and he thinks having Davy in Congress would be beneficial to everyone.  Davy agrees on one condition: he’s not Jackson’s sycophant.  The only people he’s going to answer to are… well, the people.

Naturally, Davy is elected to Congress.  He rides up to Washington, sticking out like a sore thumb in his buckskins and coonskin cap.  Georgie greets him in the Capitol building, earning a lighthearted scolding for publishing those stories.  Now Davy has to wear his buckskins to be the hero everyone’s expecting to see!  Georgie regrets nothing.  Davy saunters into the south wing to introduce himself to his new peers.  And what an introduction!  He has the whole assembly cracking up, describing himself as “half horse, half alligator, and a little bit touched with snapping turtle”.  Which is amazing.  More amazing, though, is his promise to actually do things to help the people who elected him.

A single shot of the White House tells us Jackson won the presidency.   I guess we don’t need more than that if you know anything about American history or the $20 bill. Poor baby isn’t satisfied with his presidency because it’s not as much fun as murdering innocent people. His one bright spot is that he has Davy on his side. But does he? Davy’s not afraid to tell it to him straight: Jackson has massively screwed up. The excuse the president gives is that there are just too many people in the country to represent everyone. Spoken like a true lazy selfish excuse for a leader. But such an excuse would be the perfect reason to expand the country Westward….

The next evening, after a long session, Norton approaches Davy, all smiles.  He announces that he’s arranged for Davy to speak in major cities across the Eastern seaboard.  After all, Jackson’s second term is coming to a close (apparently), and Davy’s such a well-known figure that if he plays his cards right he might just be the next president.  Norton doesn’t leave much room for argument, so Davy prepares to leave the following Sunday.  Davy suspects nothing since the formerly ornery major is all smiles and has long since made nice.  Georgie, however, isn’t convinced.  He sincerely hopes Davy isn’t about to make a huge mistake.

Yes.  Yes, he is.  Sure, people love him. Sure, Philly gave him a pretty sweet gun that he named Betsy.  But it was all a ruse!  Turns out, Norton was just trying to get Davy out of the way!  If Davy was in Washington, they’d have some serious opposition to a controversial “Indian Bill” that history buffs may recognize as the genesis of the infamous Trail of Tears.  Davy is furious at being tricked like that and rides back to Washington as fast as he can.   Meanwhile, Norton and Jackson are incredibly stressed out that the bill hasn’t been passed yet.  Some unsung hero has been filibustering and filibustering until Davy can get there and put an end to this.

Norton and Jackson are all smiles when Davy eventually does turn up, “reassuring” him that the bill has already been passed.  Davy isn’t fooled.  He says they’re just going to have to change their minds.  Jackson warns that stopping this bill would mean the end of Davy’s career.  So Davy punches him in the face!  It’s glorious.  With fire and fury, Davy storms into the south wing to scold his fellow Congressmen for their cruelty.  Natives are people too, and no matter how badly expansion is needed, it’s not worth their lives.  It’s their job as a government body to protect the rights of all of their people, not just rich white landowners, and it’s disgraceful that they’re just using their power to line their pockets. He finishes by ripping up the Indian Bill and storming out, which is a great, theatrical mic drop but… come on, man.  You should at least stick around to vote.  A for effort, though, Davy, A for effort.

DAVY CROCKETT AT THE ALAMO

Davy’s political career is over so he goes back to exploring, with not a single mention of the horrors that resulted from his failure or even that he did fail. As Davy gallivants through the forest, Jackson’s goons are rounding up Natives to shove them off the land we just spent an hour assuring them they could keep. Promises no good. White government lie. And now we have the Trail of Tears. Because Davy dropped the mic and left. Do you see why I hate Andrew Jackson? Because boy do I hate Andrew Jackson. Maybe the knowledge of what’s happening is why Davy looks so glum when Georgie finds him on the deck of a steamboat. Or maybe that’s just Davy’s face.

The boat is well underway down the Mississippi River before Georgie asks where they’re actually going: Texas. Georgie is horrified, because they’re fighting for independence from Mexico and that’s just asking for trouble. But Davy isn’t about to leave honest Americans in danger and Georgie is a ride or die so off we go. Then there’s a decidedly awkward cut that I’m sure means something was cut since this aired on television, and suddenly we’re belowdecks. The best character in the movie is ranting about how he’s gambled away all his riches and has been cast aside… like an old glove! I’m not sure why Thimblerig is so great because he’s Hans Conreid or because he’s so incredibly extra but he’s great and I love him.

Thimblerig greets Davy and Georgie with so much fanfare that it’s a little ridiculous. Davy invites him to join them down the river, but Georgie’s not sure it’s a good idea because Thimblerig is a notorious coward. For his part, Thimblerig is all in on anything that helps him escape his creditors, so he agrees to head to Texas with them. He has second thoughts when they arrive to the “desolate, desecrated desert” (I told you this guy was extra). It quickly becomes apparent that there are people there– Comanches. The movie quickly ruins any semblance of enjoyment I was starting to have by referring to them as “critters” and a “barbaric horde”. And it’s like, oh, right, it’s the 50s, these attitudes are everywhere and we were almost moving past them so we need to yo-yo right back into hell.

The trio climbs up a cliff to watch the buffalo from Vanishing Prairie stampede. A Comanche man races after them on horseback and comes in contact with the sworn enemy of all great warriors: prairie dogs. Yes, it’s from Vanishing Prairie. And yes, it looks ridiculous. The Comanche man eats dirt, and Davy goes to either see if he’s okay or loot his corpse, one of the two. The very-not-dead Comanche man pulls a knife and fights Davy, who knocks him out cold again while Georgie and Thimblerig point and laugh. Grr. Eventually, Georgie and Davy carry the Native back to camp and they all feast on buffalo.

Davy and the Comanche have a little conversation in sign language, which amazes Thimblerig who cannot fathom communicating with a Native American. As it would turn out, the poor guy failed at being a soldier, lost his wife to another man, got exiled from his home, and got thrown from his horse in the span of about a day. This series of unfortunate events leads the white guys to nickname him Busted Luck. Georgie isn’t sure they should let someone so hard-done-by be their guide, but Davy knows it’s the best way to get safely to the next town. They come across a Mexican family, who explains that they can’t go to the next town because the Mexican army has San Antonio completely surrounded. All the townsfolk are holed up in the nearby mission: the Alamo. Davy doesn’t think twice. There are people in trouble, and he’s going to help. The Mexican family bows their heads, knowing they’re all done for, which would be funny if they weren’t actually done for.  Spoiler alert.

The trio narrowly escapes some stock footage of the Mexican army and makes it to the Alamo. Colonel William Travis is thrilled to see the reinforcements and introduces Davy to his commanding officer, Jim Bowie. Bowie is severely injured, but doing his best to keep morale up. That’s no easy tasks: rations are low, ammo is running out, and Mexican soldiers outnumber the survivors at the Alamo 25 to one. They’re done. But Davy is stubborn and strong enough to bring back a sliver of hope. The next morning, the Mexican general Santa Ana brings terms of surrender: give up and concede Texas to Mexico or just lay down and die. That’s not much incentive to surrender, so a battle breaks out. It’s okay, though, Mexico sent out a contingent of Stormtroopers this time. Our heroes are safe for now.

Travis sends his guys to go get some rest and some food, mostly so he can have a heart to heart with Davy. They’ve held out for four days without a single casualty, which is really impressive in the Texans’ part and really sad on the Mexicans’ part. But lest we forget, rations are dangerously low. So low, in fact, that Thimblerig devises a cunning plan to have Georgie and Busted Luck gamble for their dinner. Winner gets to combine their three meager meals into one decent one. He sets up a sort of shell game where his two opponents have to watch three thimbles and remember which one has a bullet hidden underneath. Georgie tries first and fails, then its’ Busted Luck’s turn. He’s not having any of the conman’s nonsense, though, and seizes the thimble to uncover the bullet himself. Then, without a word or even a change of expression, he scrapes all three rations onto one plate and goes to town. Thimblerig is resigned to eating the bullet. But not like that. He literally swallows it.

Then the fun stops. Night has fallen. The hunger and horrible odds have started to catch up to the men. Georgie says what everyone else is thinking: no one’s coming to help. They might as well leave and save their own hides. Davy stays right where he is and admits he’s always known that. Georgie gets offended that Davy didn’t tell him they were walking into a death trap and vows that Davy’s on his own from now on. He barges in on Bowie, demanding that he give all this up before it turns into, and I quote, “a massa-kree”. Bowie is still somehow convinced help is coming. Fed up, Georgie offers to run a message to the next town to beg for reinforcements. Everyone watches him leave, thinking he’s deserting, but there’s no time to dwell. The Stormtroopers are shooting again.

Two days later, Georgie still isn’t back. Davy’s starting to get worried, and bullets are still raining ineffectually over the Alamo. They’ve added cannons now, lurking juuuust out of range of the normal guns. Luckily, Davy Crockett has Betsy and she’s much better than a normal gun. We fade out, and when the lights come back Georgie rides towards the Alamo! He’s safe and sound because seriously Mexico are y’all even trying? But he has bad news. The next town refused to send any men at all. He also didn’t bring back food or powder which would have been super helpful man come on. For like the hundredth time, they reflect on how utterly screwed they are.

Davy goes to inform Bowie (again) about how utterly screwed they are. Bowie laments that he only got to be friends with the great Davy Crockett for a few days, then decides he wants to share his mens’ final moments. Travis officially announces that they’re all yesterday’s toast, and offers any man who wants out a chance to leave. Not a single one takes it, not even Thimblerig who was established as a coward from the start. It’s a very moving moment. Later, they’re all up on the battlement and Georgie has a guitar from… somewhere. Did you get a guitar from town but not supplies? Really?!  He hands it over to Davy so he can cheer them up with a little song in their final hour. It’s an incredibly melancholy piece about all the things that the’ll be leaving behind when they die. Everyone goes off to rest one last time before judgement day and trumpet sound.

The next morning, the Mexican troops ride forth, and they’ve finally brought their A game.  It is a bloodbath.  Credit where credit is due, Team Texas does pretty well at first, knocking over the ladders Team Mexico uses to try to climb over the walls of the Alamo. But then Busted Luck gets shot.  Thimblerig loads up a cannon to avenge his friend, but then he gets shot.  Georgie gets shot. And shot.  And shot again.  Soldiers break into Bowie’s room and Bowie fights from his sickbed by dual wielding pistols and it’s awesome but then he gets shot. Georgie gets shot again and finally dies, urging Davie to “give ‘em what fer.”  The Mexican soldiers converge on the last survivor.  Naturally, it’s Davy.  He holds his own pretty well, but this is one time where Disney doesn’t shy away from the real history. We don’t see it, but the movie does fade out while Davy is getting swarmed. We close on the Texas flag flying high over the Alamo. The ballad promises that Davy and his friends live on as long as we remember the Alamo. And isn’t that why we’re telling this story?

The words “product of its time” have never been more appropriate.  The racial politics are really trying to improve over the horrors we witnessed in Peter Pan, but it’s still pretty bad.  I mean, I have to give them points for trying, but they still speak in that pidgin English, referred to with slurs and animal terms, and are mostly played by Italian dudes in stereotypical costumes.  The fight choreography is horrible, and the weird splicing of True Life Adventure footage takes me right out of the movie every time it happens.  Even the acting is weird and dated.  But let’s examine that in….

CHARACTERS

Davy Crockett is our larger-than-life epic hero, a fighter for truth and right and justice for everyone.  He’s got kind of a saving-people-thing, unable to stay out of a fight when there’s people in danger, even when it’s clearly a lost cause.  The role launched Fess Parker to stardom to the point where he was afraid to leave his house for fear of being mobbed.  And the whole time I was watching this, I couldn’t help asking myself… why?  He delivers every line in this soft-spoken monotone and doesn’t emote at all.  I gues it’s because young boys could imagine themselves in Davy’s shoes, having their own adventures.  But I  couldn’t help think of him as a cipher type character.  Stop booing me, I’m right.

Georgie Russell is his right-hand man.  He’s loyal to a fault, always there to boost Davy up whether he likes it or not.  Even when it seems like he’s hit his breaking point, he bounces right back to Davy’s side.  He’s the quintessential sidekick role.  Buddy Ebsen was originally supposed to play Davy and even did some screen tests, but when Walt discovered Fess Parker he became Georgie instead.  There were no hard feelings, though.  The two men remained friends for the rest of their lives.  Ebsen is most famous for his starring role as Jeb Clampett in the Beverly Hillbillies, but he was almost an even more popular character.  Had it not been for an unfortunate makeup allergy, he would have played the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz!

Major Tobias Norton starts out as the mostly incompetent and stubborn commanding officer who has to deal with Davy’s eccentricities.  As he rises up through the political system, though, he becomes more and more of a smug snake type of character.  He’s charming and affable enough, but he has his own motivations and he’s not about to let this backwoods cretin stop him.  It’s his machinations that let the Trail of Tears happen.  Which brings us to….

General Andrew Jackson is a horrible person who should never have become president and should certainly not be immortalized on our money and I’m going to stop now before this gets uber political but he’s awful and I hate him okay moving on.

Chief Red Stick is the warlord chief of the Creek tribe.  He’s played very stereotypically, with the aforementioned pidgin English and the war bonnet.  Yet the movie makes a point of portraying him as the injured party, lashing out in anger because he’s been hurt first.  It’s an interesting departure from most other depictions of Native Americans in this era, and a much more accurate one.  I felt bad for the guy!  I also have to give bonus points for Pat Hogan actually being Potawatomi and Oneida.  They lose them later because Busted Luck is Italian but I’m going to give credit where credit is due.

Thimblerig is such a minor character I probably shouldn’t even bring him up, but he was just so much fun to watch.  He’s so theatrical and dramatic with his flowery speeches and ridiculous intonations.  Actually, he kind of reminded me of Sacha Baron Cohen, especially as Pirelli in Sweeney Todd.  He’s played by Hans Conreid doing the exact same voice as Captain Hook, except I find it much more enjoyable here… barring the unfortunate way he talks about Natives.

ARTISTRY

The original episodes of the Davy Crockett series aired in black and white, but for some reason Walt decided to film them in color.  That ended up working out when he rereleased them in theatres, but it’s still a baffling decision.  There’s not actually that much color in this movie, just a lot of brown.  It did work to give the movie a rustic, woodsy feel, but it was a lot of brown.  Peter Ellenshaw’s matte paintings are slightly more obvious than they were in the last few films but that’s not bad because they’re usually completely invisible.  They just stand out against the real Great Smokey Mountains, which is some rather lovely footage.  A lot more conspicuous was the inexplicable use of True Life Adventures footage spliced into the action completely at random. It looks horrendous.

MUSIC

The Ballad of Davy Crockett is one of those iconic Disney songs that everyone knows the words to, whether or not they’ve seen the movie.  Its simple folksy melody makes it almost sound like a child’s nursery rhyme.  Most people know the first and maybe second verses of the song, but there are a whopping 37 refrains of the song in all!  Like the rest of this movie, the song was a smash hit.  Not only did it land on the Billboard charts, three different versions landed on the charts at the same time!  The movie version is sung by a band called the Wellingtons, but there were also popular versions by Bill Hayes, Tenessee Ernie Ford, and Mac Wiseman, Fess Parker himself.

There’s a more recent cover that must be seen to be believed, sung by none other than Tim Curry.  It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard. Please listen to it. It is missing from your life.  There is a hole in your soul that can only be filled by Dr. Frank N. Furter gently purring strrrrripe-aaaaayyyyy in your ears.

Farewell to the Mountains is much more of an afterthought compared to the ever-present ballad.  It’s a soft, pretty song in the vein of Roy Rogers and the Sons of the Pioneers, outlining how beautiful the world is and how much our doomed soldiers are going to miss it.  The last line of the chorus is a little on the nose, though:   “In the land of the stranger, I rise or I fall”.   I find it hard to believe that Davy wrote something so appropriate for this moment several years before, that’s all I’m saying.

THEME PARK INFLUENCE

Disneyland is the entire reason Walt wanted to make Davy Crockett in the first place.  He had the True Life Adventures to tie into Adventureland, and his classic animated output for Fantasyland.  He just needed something for Frontierland.  Hence: American folklore hero.  The two American Frontierlands, at least, still sell the famous coonskin caps in their merchandise locations and play the Ballad of Davy Crockett on their area loops.  The song also plays in Walt Disney World’s Country Bear Jamboree and at the popular Hoop-dee-Doo Musical Revue dinner show at Fort Wilderness Resort and Campground.  It is laugh-out-loud funny in that version, too.

Speaking of Fort Wilderness, the bar adjoining the theatre is called  Crockett’s Tavern.  Overseas, Disneyland Paris has its own campground resort, very similar to Florida’s Fort Wilderness, called the Davy Crockett Ranch.  Disneyland has (had?  I’m finding conflicting reports) an attraction called the Davy Crockett Explorer Canoes, in which guests can actually paddle themselves around the Rivers of America. The same attraction used to operate in the Magic Kingdom and Disneyland Paris, but has since closed.  It still exists in Tokyo, but it’s called Beaver Brothers’ Explorer Canoes and themed to tie in with Splash Mountain instead.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I think the words “time capsule” are appropriate here.  If I try really hard and put myself in the mindset of a ten-year-old boy in 1955, it’s pretty cool.  There’s action, there’s escapism, there’s a character you can run around in the woods pretending to be.  But that takes a lot of mental energy.  In my own mindset, I can’t see past the self-congragulatory white savior nonsense, the toxic masculinity, the strange acting, the terrible fighting, and the fact that it embodies everything crusty white dudes mean when they talk about “the good old days”.  I wanted to like it because it means so much to Disney history, I just… I couldn’t.

Favorite scene: “TALENTS dissipated, courage ABANDONED, CHARACTER DESTROYED—!!!” Thimblerig’s intro. He’s so dramatic. I love it.

Final rating: 4/10.  Decent action, and I owe my favorite area of the parks solely to this movie.  But I’m afraid there were more things that I disliked than things I liked.

… I’m going to go watch 20,000 Leagues again.