13 Forms Of Egos That Hold You Back From Becoming Successful
If you are still struggling to live your dream life and haven’t yet got financial independence, then watch out if you are making the following statements.
“ I don’t have enough time.”
“I don't have money to start a business.”
“I am not smart or lucky enough.”
If so, let me share with you a naked truth you may not be ready to hear, but deep within you, there is one thing that is holding you back from becoming the best version of yourself.
That is EGO.
Well, you may instantly say: “Hey, what are you talking about, I don’t have an ego, I am just financially struggling.”
Believe me, it is not true. Ego comes in many disguises. when you say I am not egoistic that is where the problem exactly lies.
Here I will share with you 13 major forms of egos that hold people back in their lives.
1. The Blame Ego
Victim-mentality leads people to have the blame ego. You will often hear these sentences from such people:
“It is not my fault it is the government’s fault”
“It is the economy.”
“ I am in the wrong industry.”
“It is my co-workers or supervisor”
“I come from a dysfunctional family that is why I will never become rich. All these things and people are holding me back to reach my highest goals.”
The people who utter these sentences are in fact the fault-finders who continue to point fingers at others without realizing when they point one finger at others three fingers are pointing towards them.
Friends, it is time to awake your soul and ask yourself: Do you have this ego? Do you blame people for your failures? Do you make excuses?
If yes, believe me, that is the blame ego keeping you from focusing on your potential and opportunities that can make you financially independent.
Remember, Lame people blame people.
2. The Know it all Ego
People with this mentality that they know better than others make the same mistakes over and over again and expect different results. They think they know it all. They need not read books or consult an expert before venturing into a new business.
Their ego doesn’t allow them to search for real knowledge that can guide them to avoid mistakes and enable them to make well-informed decisions.
Hey, if you are guilty of it, it is time to avoid this ego. Be always ready to learn from the experts and never hesitate to learn new skills or hone the present one.
3. The Fearful Ego
Another major ego that holds many people back is the fearful ego. People with this ego have different fears such as fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, or fear of losing money.
The real problem with these people is that whenever they start any project they begin to doubt:
‘What if it doesn't work?’
‘What if they don’t succeed?’
‘What if they lose money?’
‘what if they don't know what to do?’
Hey, remember fear is the acronym of :
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
The fearful ego is nothing but made-up stories in our minds.
Friends, if you have this ego. it is time to shun it.
As for myself, whenever I make a new plan or aim to learn a new thing, I ask myself this question.
“What would I do, if I weren’t afraid?”
This little question enables me to become better prepared to cope with the fearful ego. I become more focused on the real task rather than worrying about the outcome.
Remember, you can’t live in fear. It gnaws away your talent and holds you back from reaching your maximum potential.
4. The Comfort Zone Ego
When people say they are not ambitious and comfortable, happy, and content with where they are. They have a comfort zone ego.
The comfort zone ego makes people satisfied with jealousy, misery, financial stress, suffering, and boredom. They don’t like to challenge themselves and settle into what is familiar, which gives them low stress, so they like to maintain the norm and status quo.
Here is the stage when people’s comfort zone becomes their income zone. The problem is that when people get comfortable and complacent they stop growing.
Remember my friend if you are not growing you are dying.
If you have this ego, think seriously that what you are going to do about it? You must come out of it if you want to live a purposeful and fulfilling life?
5. The Judgemental Ego
People with this ego are so judgemental about others. If they see a rich man driving an expensive car or living in a big house they begin to judge them and begin passing negative remarks: They are corrupt. There are so selfish.
When the judgemental ego strikes, people begin to judge others without knowing the truth. How do they know rich people are what they think they are.
The people they judge may be more hardworking than them or maybe better husbands or fathers. They might have worked for twenty or thirty years to get to that level.
When people judge others their minds begin to make stories. What they actually do is project their insecurities.
Friends, if you consider financially independent people evil, ask yourself how you are going to become successful or rich if that is the image you have of successful people.
6. The Excuses Ego
People who make excuses cannot become successful because they can focus either on working hard or making excuses. They cannot do both simultaneously.
An excuse is actually a well-planned lie. These people lie to themselves.
These people come up with millions of excuses such as they can’t afford it, they don’t have money, something is too far or too difficult or they don’t have enough experience
7. People Pleasing Ego
Under the Influence of this ego, people try to make others happy at any cost. They usually say: “As long as everyone is okay they are okay. They don’t want to rock the boat.”
They always put other people first.
Here we need to understand that although it is good to be kind to others, sometimes in life we have to put ourselves first because to be generous you need to be a little selfish.
8. The Justifying Ego
The justifying ego makes us say: I am too young. I am too old. I am married. I have kids. I have a husband. I have no experience.
People who make such statements justify their failures by making excuses and avoiding the hard work that can take them to the next level.
Successful people do not get trapped in justifying ego. Instead, they make their kids their strength and do whatever it takes to get the job done no matter what the circumstances are.
9. The Jealous Ego
Rich people are greedy and selfish”. “Nobody can become rich without being corrupt.”
If you find people passing such remarks it is a clear sign of the jealous ego.
My friend, if you have a jealous ego this will lead you nowhere. In fact, we shouldn’t criticize what we haven’t done or what we are not capable of achieving.
How can we say for sure that a particular rich person is a bad guy? He might be a good father, husband, and human being. He might have worked hard for decades to achieve that success. He might be creating jobs for other needy people.
The other question we need to ask ourselves is: How can we become successful if we criticize other financially independent people.
10. The Fake Ego
Some people are not genuine. They are not what they claim they are. They try to become another person. They do it because of insecurities and self-doubts.
Frankly, we use the fake ego as a surviving tool. We all use this ego at some stage in our life.
We all put on a mask and many a time comply with our teachers, bosses, colleagues, partners, and friends.
However, this fake ego can hurt us in many ways. People can be deceived initially but as your true identity and colors become evident to them you lose your credibility and are termed as a fake person.
I believe we should prefer others hate us rather than love us for who we are not. Copying and imitating others will just make us a copy not unique. As Oscar Wilde has put it:
Be yourself: Everyone else is already taken — Oscar Wilde
11. The Shy Ego
These people claim to be shy and introverted. They don’t meet people and stay in their own bubble or shell.
Shy people are actually fake people. They stay away from people because they are afraid of disapproval or criticism.
Shy people act out of their ego just as much as overly confident do. A spiritual teacher Echart Tolle explains the shy ego in the following words:
“If you’re shy, then what you fear is to be found wanting,” Tolle says. “You’re afraid of the disapproval or the criticism, [which] would represent an injury of your... sense of self, which is the ego.”
So, my friend, be true to yourself and never let criticism hold you back from becoming the best version of yourself.
12. The other People’s opinions Ego
People with this ego worry about what other people think and say. Whenever they make a plan or initiate any business they begin to think about what others would say about it.
No matter how convinced they are that what they are doing is the right thing, they begin to worry about other people’s opinions. These critics or naysayers can be their family and friends.
My friend, it is time to stop worrying about what others say and start doing the right thing. Haters will never stop hating and naysayers will continue to criticize, so never let people’s hate and criticism hold you back.
13. The Do-It-Yourself Ego
These people don't trust others. You will find them making the following statements:
“If you want something done right, do it yourself.’
“Others can never be as good as I am”
Hey, my friends, the do-it-yourself ego is holding you back from achieving big goals. Know that you need a team of experts on your side to go far.
Three ways to cope with Ego
Ego increases when we separate ourselves from the present moment and from other people who share this moment with us. Here are three strategies you can adopt to tackle your ego.
Embrace Love
A spiritual and motivational speaker Gabrielle Bernstein, says:
“‘Love is the only emotion and fear is an illusion. Whenever you’re afraid, it’s proof that you’ve turned your back on love and chosen to have faith in the ego.”
She suggests that when you have an anxious thought, tell yourself that Love did not create this thought, so it is not real.’
So, whenever any thought crosses your mind, see whether it is created by love or fear, and tell yourself: If love did not create it, it is not real.
Avoid Negativity
Ego loves negativity which is a source of self-disgust and self-sabotage. One strategy to get rid of the habit of complaining is to challenge yourself for at least a week that whenever you complain you will put a dollar into a jar and try to return to gratitude.
When you complain you are diverted from the path of blissfulness. So, whenever any thought or event triggers your habit of complaining, breathe three times, and try to find positivity around you. It can be good weather, your good health, or your loving children. Never let negativity disturb your peace of mind.
Be Grateful in Every Situation
Feeling grateful when being down and out is certainly a hard pill to swallow. Even if you do all the self-work and self-reflection, you can still feel angry, which is absolutely normal.
In fact, when you complain in a troublesome situation your ego tries to defend itself and throws up every obstacle into your path because the main goal of ego is to separate you from the present moment.
In addition, coping with your ego is just like detoxing your liver. Just as you need fasting and the best food items to detox your liver, so you need to make ideal choices for maintaining your peace of mind.
One proven strategy is that when anger strikes you, pick a piece of paper, think of the positive things in your life that make you happy, and pen them down. These things can be sunlight coming through your window, raining outside, beautiful flowers in the garden, or maybe your favorite song.
Conclusion
In short, ego can strike you in different disguises, so you have to remain on guard all the time. Also, remember working on yourself is not an easy task. If you fail initially in combating your anger and negativity, it is quite normal. Don’t strive for perfection because it is also a trait of ego.
Know that each moment, every breath, and each movement you make is your destination.
