Well, twirl my turban, man alive
Here come Mr. Five by Five
He's one of those big fat bouncin' boys
Solid avoirdupois

Mr. Five by Five
He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side

Mr. Five by Five
Got fifty chins and a line of jive
He's a mellow old cat, a real hep fat
He be Mr. Five by Five

That man
Can really jump it for a fat man
The only trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' on, or goin'

Mr. Five by Five
He's slightly plump on his butter side
He don't shake it no more from head to toe
Than he do from side to side

[Instrumental Break]

That man (my, my!)
Can really jump it for a fat man (fat man!)
Boys, the trouble is there's no way of knowin'
Whether he's comin' on, or goin'

Mr. Five by Five
He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide
He don't measure no more from head to toe
Than he do
From side to side
Mr. Five by Five