Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong
They're too damn skinny or way too long
I ain't no holy roller so I just use a bong
Them boys from Oklahoma roll their joints all wrong

Them boys down in Texas got some damn fine weed
They smuggle across the Rio, they use the Mexican breed
That's expointin' cheap labor, but hell that's Texican's creed
Them boys down in Texas got some damn fine weed

Them boys in Arkansas they got some damn fine pot
That's a direct result of all them good seeds they got
Haulin' water up a hill's a chore, but man I tell you what
Them boys from Arkansas they got some damn fine pot

(Chorus)
Them boys up in Kansas, hell all they got is a bunch of schwag
And they'll try to screw you for fifty bucks a quarter bag
I got some in my guitar case and I'm not the type to brag
But it's a damn sight better than that Kansanian schwag

Them boys in Louisiana got trouble growin' their weed
Them alligators is mean, and they eat up all the seeds
But on a bayou night by the light of a full moon
You can walk out and pick you a sack full of 'shrooms

(Chorus)